Actually, I might well be showing my ignorance here, but apart from ‘rattlers’ what other sorts of venomous snakes are there in the US?
I know this prolly should be in GQ, but it’s 10.00 p.m. and I can’t be buggered changing forums, OK?
Well, there’s congressmen.
And stop dissing Steve Irwin! He’s your major cultural export right now.
(Really, have you guys thought about changing PR firms? First Paul Hogan, then Yahoo Serious, then that ‘Oy!’ Guy, now Steve?)
Copperhead, coral snake, cottonmouth/water moccasin
Let’s see… any more?..
According to this page at least, we’ve got them all listed (rattlers, copperheads, coral snakes, water moccasins). And venomous doesn’t necessarily mean deadly of course. My husband was bitten by a cottonmouth when he was a little kid but didn’t tell his parents. Later he started developing almost flu-like symptoms.
“water moccasin” has always struck me as a curious name for a snake.
Coming from the NSW irrigation districts, snakes were very common where I grew up. Seeing a couple of dozen a day over the summer was the norm … and we didn’t count them unless they were over 4 feet. Blacks, tigers and browns.
That’s not what I’ve heard. I’ve heard that even the puppies there have nine-inch fangs and poisonous spines.
My wife and I spent 5 days camping in Kakadu Park a few years ago. Our group took a river ride on a flat-bottom boat to see the crocodiles. The river was teeming with them. Many were around 20 feet long!
Of course, what TLD’s not telling you about are the drop-bears. They fall out of the gum trees, land on your shoulder, and, well, fuck your ear. The only way to protect yourself is to put vegemite on your ears when you go outside. Lots of vegemite. That’s what vegemite was invented for, you know.
Having been up north (the Kimberleys, in the north-west) not so long ago, and swum in a fair few waterholes, I’d have to say that someone stuffed up pretty badly. Anywhere that tourists go is signposted very clearly - with great whopping big pictures of crocodiles. There are little crocodile-warning icons marked on all the maps. Hard to miss.
Of course, what TLD’s not telling you about are the drop-bears. They fall out of the gum trees, land on your shoulder, and, well, fuck your ear. The only way to protect yourself is to put vegemite on your ears when you go outside. Lots of vegemite. That’s what vegemite was invented for, you know.
Having been up north (the Kimberleys, in the north-west) not so long ago, and swum in a fair few waterholes, I’d have to say that someone stuffed up pretty badly. Anywhere that tourists go is signposted very clearly - with great whopping big pictures of crocodiles. There are little crocodile-warning icons marked on all the maps. Hard to miss.
Speaking of tourists in Australia, here’s a moron (by coincidence, he was German too) who recently came very close to dying in the Australian outback.
The cause of death, were Mr Hardt not so damn lucky: gross stupidity.
For those that don’t feel like clicky-ing the link, here’s a quick summary: Mr Kim Hardt decided to tackle the Canning Stock Route – a rugged 1800 km track cutting through central Australia (a desert region) – in his rental car. He obviously didn’t bother to do his homework and almost died as a result. Some choice quotes from the article:
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This story would be infuriating, if not for the sheer humour value of a German tourist carrying ten times more beer than water into the frickin’ desert.
Shit Trites, did ya have to tell them about the dropbears? Now the tourists will be staying away in droves, The crocs and funnel webs are but mere annoyances, but the DROPBEARS, maaate, did ya have to mention THEM???
Oh, and don’t even think of telling them furriners about the kangawallabats. They’ll nuke us. Mind you, I think I’d rather be bombed than suffer the death inflicted by a kangawallabat or a dropbear.
We Aussies have a lot to suffer…
You folks haven’t mentioned the dingoes yet. Not only vicious, but smart.
A dingo ate my baby!
Well, somebody had to say it…
I’ve read a bit about Australia and its wildlife, which appears to be divided into two main categories: things that will kill you and things that will kill you and eat you. Made me wonder how anyone was ever convinced to leave England for Australia. American immigrants, at least, were religous minorities seeking the freedom to persecute other religious minorities, but why would anyone spend six months puking over the side of a boat in order to be stung, bitten, chewed, chomped and trampled?
Then I read about “transportation” and Botany Bay. Mystery solved. Given the roughly 20 to 1 men to women ratio of the original “colonists” (England colonizing Australia much the same way as France “colonized” Devil’s Island) explains the nervous temperment of kangaroo and the urgent decision to import sheep.
All in all, a fascinating place to view from a safe distance. Eleven thousand miles seems about right.
There are times I think the Darwin Awards are cruel and in poor taste. Then, there are times when I can see their point.
I have relatives in Florida. I was visiting one branch of the family in a nice suburb. My mother saw what she thought was an aligator in the pond across the street. Our hosts informed us that at least one gator lived in the system of canals and ponds that ran through the development.
People knew not to swim in the waters. They kept dogs behind secure fences or inside. They kept a close watch on children. And, they always checked their pools before swimming.
How could a tourist not know that there are crocodiles in Australia? It had to be mentioned in at least one of the brochures. I admit I haven't seen the signs in question. But I'm guessing that besides saying "NO SWIMMING" in at least one language, they had the icon of a swimming upper torso, a water line, and a red circle with a diagonal slash. They may or may not have had pictures of crocodiles.
DocCathode’s Brush With Poisonous Critter-
I was camping with some friends this year. We drove from our site(great site, you can’t see or hear other campers from it) to a hiking trail. When I got out of the car, I noticed movement in some tall grass. I saw a snake moving away from us at highspeed. On its tail, were what looked like rattles. But, they were flattened and disc-shaped. I assumed it had to be some other kind of snake, because rattlers are found only in the southwest. On returning home, I did a quick web search. There are rattlers in Pennsylvania. The rattles of a young snake are flat and disc-shaped. It’s a poisonous world out there folks.
No, they didn’t.
Spikes in my pillow, acid in the bathtub… naaah. Just coincidences.
Since people are sharing poisonous animal stories I’ve got another - in PNG my I once found my little brother playing with a small brightly coloured snake. It was, in fact, some sort of sea snake, known to be among the most venomous snakes around. “Don’t worry,” he said. “It’s too small to bite me.” I think it’s just cause it was daytime and it was lethargic that my brother didn’t wind up dead. The thing was winding around his fingers, crawling up his arm… if it had bitten him we were on an island off the coast and were at least a half days boatride from the crappy hospital of Port Moresby much less anywhere in Australia.
I’ve seen alligators in the wild in southwestern Arkanasas. There’s a little one (about 3’) that lives in the pond in front of my parent’s house.
Just for the record, on teev last night they had footage of the waterhole in question and there were warning signs regarding crocodiles, at least two. And at least one was pictorial, so no language excuses (as if a German backpacker wouldn’t speak and read English better than me anyway!).
Fact is, a lot of people do swim in NT and Northern Qld. Including the local indigenous people, although they no doubt know the subtleties of avoiding becoming a meal.
The bombs never hit ya [sub]but occasionally, they do…[/sub]
Beautiful country, lots of lovely geographical relief. I gotta get myself there one day, if only for croissants and chocolate cake.
(crickets)
We are talking about Austria, right?