# Yet another "roommate advice desperately needed" thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355 "2011-03-12T00:35:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/21 "2011-03-12T16:39:04Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > That’s called manipulating. > > That’s the end result she’s looking for. Exactly. This person is the Athlete’s Foot Fungus of Roomates: Treat until completely gone. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/22 "2011-03-12T16:44:38Z")
I don’t know why you’d have to get a lawyer- that sounds a bit extreme. Landlords evict people all the time without them. I don’t know how easy it would be to just go on down to the courthouse and ask in NYC, but maybe you could do that. ---
**Author:** ![Erdosain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/erdosain/32/7284_2.png) [@Erdosain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erdosain)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2011, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/23 "2011-03-12T20:06:37Z")
Definitely forget about raising the rent. She could always agree to it and then just be later and later with the rent each month. You don’t like her and she doesn’t have a formal lease or even an informal understanding about how long she’ll be there. You don’t need a reason to kick her out after you’ve given her appropriate notice and time. Unfortunately, I believe this could take a couple months if she fights it. As you quoted earlier, you need to give her 30 days’ notice to vacate the apartment before you or your management company can start eviction proceedings. Talk to management about the legal requirements for this notice (i.e. does it have to be registered mail, or what?). Then lock up your stuff. It sucks, but you have three options here: 1. legally evict her - she’ll hate you and probably mess with your toothbrush 2. live with her forever - she’ll still hate you for trying to kick her out 3. find a new apartment - she’ll hate you until your current lease expires. They all suck. You know how much you like your apartment more than we do. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/24 "2011-03-13T22:23:58Z")
There are free legal clinics in NYC open to the public - there is no restriction on how much you make, etc. If I recall, they hold the tenant law clinics once a week and it usually takes about 2-3 weeks to get an appointment. The lawyers there will give you advice, but they will not represent you in an actual trial. It’s a great place to go to explore your options, though. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/25 "2011-03-13T22:38:26Z")
New York City Bar Assn. Monday Night Law Clinic and Legal Hotline: > **[Lawyer Referral Service & Legal Info in New York | NYC Bar](https://www.nycbar.org/get-legal-help/)** > > Get legal information and find a lawyer in New York. Find a reliable, trustworthy lawyer with the New York City Bar Legal Referral Service. ---
**Author:** ![xoferew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/e9a140/32.png) [@xoferew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xoferew)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2011, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/26 "2011-03-13T23:37:42Z")
Very grateful for all links and advice. Thanks all!! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/27 "2011-03-14T00:47:54Z")
Here’s some encouragement for you to see this through to the end of getting her out - I know you don’t want trouble, but she’s already trouble - a normal person doesn’t respond to a request to move out with, “No.” ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/28 "2011-03-14T01:03:59Z")
in my jurisdiction they pretty much have a canned legal filing you can request from the courthouse website . You fill in the names and dates and it builds the proper formatted forms to file with the court and serve to the tenant. If she wants to protest it it now puts the ball in her court to do the work of avoiding it. Once the notice is fullfilled (30 days or whatever is required in your jurisdiction) you can call the police and have her removed if she refuses to leave. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2011, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/29 "2011-03-14T15:39:37Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > The fact that the managers are not only aware, but okay with this is a huge advantage for you since you don’t have to keep this quiet. Otherwise, she’d be able to hold that over your head. > > If you’re on friendly terms with them, I think that would be a great idea. Especially if you make it clear that your not asking them for help (but I wouldn’t turn it down if the offer), just what the protocol is. OTOH, you might find out since they have a vested interest in the property, they might be willing to go to bat for you. Once they step in, it might just take a stern conversation about ‘what’s going to happen next\*’ between the manager and the roommate to get her out of there. > \*Something along the lines of “Listen, here’s the deal, you’re roommate tells me you aren’t paying rent and asked you to leave. Here’s the deal, if you’re still here in 7 days, we’re going to start eviction proceedings, that means blah blah court blah blah all your stuff will be removed blah blah won’t be able to rent anywhere for 7 years blah blah” That’s not going to happen. At all. NYC has what is known as the “roommate law”, which allows (among other things) the primary tenant to share the premises with one additional occupant. She’s there legally. You are going to be able to evict her, but I would advise you to get an attorney to do it for you. Improper notice, defective delivery, blah blah can result in your case being dismissed, so it’s best to have a lawyer do it right. The people at housing court help you fill out forms, but they do NOT give legal advice. Putting her things out or changing the lock will get you arrested, and she can get get an order to show cause and be restored to the premises faster than you will. If she gets a protective order, you will be the one on the sidewalk. NYC Admin. Code 26-521 includes in their definition of a resident as “an occupant who has lawfully lived in the apartment for more than thirty days (with or without the lease)”. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355/30 "2011-03-15T02:57:09Z")
> [@xoferew](#): > > if a person stays in your apartment / dwelling for more than 30-days, that person has a legal right to stay in the residence - regardless of who holds the lease, who pays the rent, etc. You cannot legally change the locks to lock him out. If you do so, he can call the police on you." This is true in a great many U.S. jurisdictions–in fact, probably universally. Once someone establishes a place as their home, the law does not make it super easy to kick them out. Listen to everyone and go through the legal eviction process. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-roommate-advice-desperately-needed-thread/574355.md?page=1)