# Yet another thread about men. This time, my now ex **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 2, 2003, 11:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477 "2003-12-02T11:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/21 "2003-12-02T18:03:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lars Aruns \* > \*\* > Mind you, he might put on even more pressure - for a while. He might call and beg and ask what he did wrong and why not give it another try and whine and call you heartless and scold you for hurting him. \*\* Which is what he’s been doing. Silly boy. He still hasn’t got it! > [@](#): > > \*\*Pity I could not get that funding from the University of Birmingham, or I’d turn up with flowers in minutes… 😃 \*\* 😃 I think, however, that you would face competition… ---
**Author:** ![In\_Conceivable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/22 "2003-12-02T18:03:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*Well, I’m not sure that I can spend the rest of my life with him. Not with the way things are at the moment. \*\* I am not trying to be hard on you **Angua** , but I can understand why this guy thinks he might still have a chance. One minute you sound like there is no way you are going back with him and the other it sounds like maybe you might change your mind. It is understandable to feel like you need some time to figure things out. The problem is that people don’t generally like to be left dangling. Either you tell him there is absolutely no chance or you tell him that there might be a chance. If you make it clear there is no chance then unless he is a crazy stalker he will give up and go away. If you let him think that there is a chance he will keep trying to get you back. You can’t expect him to disappear and wait patiently while you decide if you still what to have a relationship with him. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/23 "2003-12-02T18:08:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by In Conceivable \* > \*\*I am not trying to be hard on you **Angua** , but I can understand why this guy thinks he might still have a chance. One minute you sound like there is no way you are going back with him and the other it sounds like maybe you might change your mind. > \*\* I know. Believe me I’ve been beating myself up over it as well. However, I told him at the time, and I keep on telling him that I need space. He’s not giving it to me. However, it is bloody hard to try and be rational when he’s essentially breathing down my neck all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Lars\_Aruns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Lars\_Aruns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lars_Aruns)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/24 "2003-12-02T18:15:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*😃 I think, however, that you would face competition… \*\* I know, I know. I’ve been counting the admiresrs… But I think you deserve some to cheer you up, right? 🙂 She answered me! **She ANSWERED me!** **Melts** ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/25 "2003-12-02T18:42:26Z")
SET FIRM PARAMETERS. STICK TO THEM. Clean breaks are in the best interest of both parties. Which is more important? 1. Your integrity, your self-worth, your long-term happiness, firm important decisions that you have already made. 2. Worrying about being nice or being a bitch over a short, transient phone conversation. I think you know the answer. Incidentally, assertiveness can build your self-worth more effectively than a thousand flirt posts. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/26 "2003-12-02T18:50:12Z")
Yeah, I do know the answer. Which is why we’ve just had another little chat. Parameters have been set. They are going to be stuck to. He can think what he likes. This is for the best, it really is. And, you know what? I feel better for it now. Thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/27 "2003-12-02T18:50:14Z")
You said that it seems he doesn’t care how you feel… have you told him that? I mean you are telling him you need space and all that… but have you explained in detail what his constant ignoring of your request is making you feel? ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/28 "2003-12-02T21:18:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*Oh, and you can flirt away. 🙂 \*\* Well, it isn’t every day I get the go-ahead from a lovely lady :), so I think I definitely will! > [@](#): > > (from **Angua** To **Lars aruns** 🙂 > 😃 I think, however, that you would face competition… Competition present and accounted for! 😃 Now we need someone to come up with Rules of Engagement for a Virtual Duel… although in any case I’m sure the Lady in Question is now laughing herself silly looking at the two of us making fools of ourselves 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/29 "2003-12-02T21:34:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Noone Special \* > \*\*Now we need someone to come up with Rules of Engagement for a Virtual Duel… although in any case I’m sure the Lady in Question is now laughing herself silly looking at the two of us making fools of ourselves 😉 \*\* Nah, we’re all laughing. Go ahead, slap him with your virtual glove! ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/30 "2003-12-02T21:39:36Z")
So, **Horseflesh** , you angling to be “best man”? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/31 "2003-12-02T21:58:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*You said that it seems he doesn’t care how you feel… have you told him that? I mean you are telling him you need space and all that… but have you explained in detail what his constant ignoring of your request is making you feel? \*\* Yeah, he’s been told. Over and over and over again. > [@](#): > > \*\*although in any case I’m sure the Lady in Question is now laughing herself silly looking at the two of us making fools of ourselves \*\* Indeed she is. 😉 But I’m very flattered. Where are you intending to duel for my hand? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Horseflesh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/horseflesh/32/7502_2.png) [@Horseflesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horseflesh)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/32 "2003-12-03T07:05:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Noone Special \* > \*\*So, **Horseflesh** , you angling to be “best man”? 🙂 \*\* You mean your “second”. Sure, I’ll scoop up the pieces, but I also wanna be the guy that counts off the paces. “…8…9…9 1/2…9 3/4…9 15/16…10! Turn and fire! Wait, wait, I didn’t say Simon sez!” Heh, heh. ---
**Author:** ![Lars\_Aruns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Lars\_Aruns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lars_Aruns)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/33 "2003-12-03T09:20:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Noone Special \* > \*\*although in any case I’m sure the Lady in Question is now laughing herself silly looking at the two of us making fools of ourselves 😉 \*\* And just imagine how much she’ll laugh considering that there won’t just be the two of us… Consider all the possibly interested Dopers, and then add all the legion of admirers I’m sure she has in the Department of Astronomy. Enough for a tournament in the most genuine Medieval style! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/34 "2003-12-03T10:32:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lars Aruns \* > And just imagine how much she’ll laugh considering that there won’t just be the two of us… **Consider all the possibly interested Dopers** , and then add all the legion of admirers I’m sure she has in the Department of Astronomy. Enough for a tournament in the most genuine Medieval style! 😃 Only **Straight** dopers need apply, of course… And a grand tourney it shall be! And, yes, **Horseflesh** - of course I meant “second” :smack: That’s what I get for communicating in my “best” (er… I meant “second” again…) language. **Angua** , sit back and enjoy the show (unless virtual violence makes you squeamish. But methinks you’re really having fun at this point) 🙂 ([serious] resisting temptation to take “best man” gaffe further… too stalkerish even for this firmly-rounge-in-cheek thread [/serious]) ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/35 "2003-12-03T10:35:10Z")
Hurrah! A grand tourney in my honour! Do I get to chose a champion first, or is that favouritism? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/36 "2003-12-03T11:47:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*Hurrah! A grand tourney in my honour! Do I get to chose a champion first, or is that favouritism? > 😃 \*\* Yes (as long as you choose **correctly** ), and Yes 🙂 And may I suggest that the perfect place to have knights in shining armor, most of them Christian, fighting over a muslim should be - Israel? I will meet ye all on our fair shores when your ships come in!! and I will show my prowess at the use of a crossbar with flaming arrows! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Lars\_Aruns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Lars\_Aruns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lars_Aruns)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/37 "2003-12-03T12:02:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Angua \* > \*\*Hurrah! A grand tourney in my honour! Do I get to chose a champion first, or is that favouritism? > > 😃 \*\* Pray, fair damsel, who will be your chose one? Heart going **Thumpa thumpa THUMPA THUMPA THUMPA** 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lars\_Aruns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Lars\_Aruns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lars_Aruns)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/38 "2003-12-03T12:08:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Noone Special \* > \*\* > And may I suggest that the perfect place to have knights in shining armor, most of them Christian, [snip] > \*\* Count in a Roman-Greek Daoist-sympathising one… ;j > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Noone Special \* > \*\*[snip] fighting over a muslim should be - Israel? > \*\* Well, why not Ashbt-La-Zouche, as per canon? Hint: Have a look at Ivanhoe Or maybe… The **Straight Dope Message Board**? ---
**Author:** ![Lars\_Aruns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@Lars\_Aruns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lars_Aruns)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/39 "2003-12-03T12:18:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lars Aruns \* > \*\*Well, why not Ashbt-La-Zouche, as per canon? \*\* Silly, silly me… That is AshBY-De-La-Zouche. Darn hurry! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2003, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477/40 "2003-12-03T13:06:18Z")
😃 Whilst not wishing to show favouritism, I shall refrain from naming my champion. However, one who provides Monty Python references in his quest, may emerge victorious. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-another-thread-about-men-this-time-my-now-ex/216477.md?page=3)