# Yet More Evidence That "Homeland Security" is an Oxymoron **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2008, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896 "2008-03-27T05:30:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/1 "2008-03-27T05:30:18Z")
And the TSA is _staffed_ by morons. Even better, they’re morons with a [blog](http://www.tsa.dhs.gov/blog), where they can flaunt their moronicity with pride! Get this, they did a piece aiming at disproving that there was a shortage of air marshalls, but apparently, they gave out what could be considered “sensative information” in the blog by mistake. How do I know this? Because not only did they say, in a later correction, that it was “not appropriate,” but they _also_ said **what that information was!** > [@TSA Lackey in Charge of Writing the Blog](#): > > Yesterday I mistakenly wrote and subsequently reiterated last night in a comment that the percent of flights covered by air marshals is in the “double digits.” Frankly, this was a result of my haste to provide information and to get the truth out quickly about our federal air marshal program. It is simply not appropriate to discuss percentage of flights covered. The Spin-to-English translation can _only_ work in one of two ways: A.) The information he gave out is considered classified and thus shouldn’t never have been made public. or B.) The _actual_ percentage is, in fact, **not** in the double digits, and in reality is only in the _single_ digits. Which would mean that as many as 99% of the flights which coud be considered “highest risk” are unprotected. I have given them the benefit of the doubt and gone with the least stupid possibility. How fucking _dumb_ can you be? They have basically said, “The information we gave you, yesterday, which was that the percentage of flights protected was in the double digits, is classified, and thus we can’t tell you that.” The _smart_ thing to do would be just to keep your fucking mouth shut about what it was that you just said. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/2 "2008-03-27T05:52:20Z")
It does seem strange. Particularly when you consider that a double digit percentage is such a broad range that it is telling you very little. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/3 "2008-03-27T07:16:48Z")
1.1% is two digits… ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/4 "2008-03-27T08:59:26Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] 1.1% is two digits… [/QUOTE] Even 0.1% is two digits. Or, if they don’t count 0 as a digit, 0.11%. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/5 "2008-03-27T14:08:01Z")
How significant is this, do you figure? ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/6 "2008-03-27T14:09:46Z")
Or it COULD be in triple digits (i.e., 100%). ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/7 "2008-03-27T14:17:09Z")
I’m pretty sure “Homeland Security” isn’t an oxymoron. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/8 "2008-03-27T14:19:27Z")
[QUOTE=Bryan Ekers] How significant is this, do you figure? [/QUOTE] Nerrrrrrrd!!! ---
**Author:** ![3waygeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e95f7d/32.png) [@3waygeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3waygeek)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/9 "2008-03-27T14:35:56Z")
Viewing this thread now, I see that one of the Google ads says “Become an Air Marshall”. So I guess that not all flights are covered – if all flights were covered, would they need to hire? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/10 "2008-03-27T14:50:43Z")
[QUOTE=3waygeek] Viewing this thread now, I see that one of the Google ads says “Become an Air Marshall”. So I guess that not all flights are covered – if all flights were covered, would they need to hire? [/QUOTE] Goodyear and MetLife blimp protection unit. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/11 "2008-03-27T14:51:13Z")
[QUOTE=Ponch8] Or it COULD be in triple digits (i.e., 100%). [/QUOTE] The TSA strikes me as the kind of organization where the phrase “let’s give it a-hundred-and-ten percent” would be used with sincerity. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/12 "2008-03-27T18:00:48Z")
Yeah, to describe the slackers. The real go-getters give a hundred and twenty. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/13 "2008-03-27T18:21:43Z")
TSA. Totally Senseless Assholes. I feel safer already. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/14 "2008-03-27T20:03:01Z")
And then there’s [this](http://cbs2.com/local/nipples.piercings.rings.2.686169.html)! Ladies, you had better rethink those genital piercings! :rolleyes: In 2005, there were approximately 30,000 commercial flights per day in the US. The Christian Science Monitor got a number of air marshals from two sources that same year at 1900-2100, not counting those grounded for illness, vacations, etc. And they work in teams, not individually. Oh yeah- you’re safe as houses. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/15 "2008-03-27T20:17:58Z")
[QUOTE=EJsGirl] And then there’s [this](http://cbs2.com/local/nipples.piercings.rings.2.686169.html)! Ladies, you had better rethink those genital piercings! [/QUOTE] Quote of the day: > [@Dwayne Baird](#): > > I’d be really curious to know what she had in her nipples. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/16 "2008-03-27T21:02:11Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Quote of the day: [/QUOTE] Heavy milk: fat in a deuterium emulsion. ---
**Author:** ![Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7993a0/32.png) [@Jamaika\_a\_jamaikaiake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamaika_a_jamaikaiake)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/17 "2008-03-27T23:54:27Z")
[QUOTE=catsix] TSA. Totally Senseless Assholes. I feel safer already. [/QUOTE] To quote an airline pilot I know: TSA: Thousands Standing Around ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/18 "2008-03-28T01:16:04Z")
[QUOTE=EJsGirl] And then there’s [this](http://cbs2.com/local/nipples.piercings.rings.2.686169.html)! Ladies, you had better rethink those genital piercings! :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] Those where not nipple piercings, they where granade pins, once the woman was into the plane and in mid flight, she´d flash her boobs like you wouldn´t believe. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/19 "2008-03-28T02:09:25Z")
I have a belly ring and I have never set off a magnetometer. Odd. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2008, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896/20 "2008-03-28T02:28:23Z")
> [@](#): > > **EJsGirl** said: > I have a belly ring and I have never set off a magnetometer. Odd. I have 9 piercings, every one of them is surgical steel, and I have never set off a metal detector. It depends on the amount of metal and how magnetically reactive it is. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yet-more-evidence-that-homeland-security-is-an-oxymoron/442896.md?page=2)