# Yikes! I think my EX may be a hired killer!?!?! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 2, 2002, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335 "2002-04-02T04:16:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/1 "2002-04-02T04:16:25Z")
There’s a story in the news here in Calgary about a fella with rather nefarious connections, that was recently murdered, gang-land style, shot in his car at a red light. (That just doesn’t happen here in Calgary). They arrested a suspect that they have in protective custody and the suspect’s name is **EXACTLY** the same as a fella I lived with about 8 years ago. Eep! I mean, he was always a bit of a jerk, but I didn’t peg him as a hired killer - good grief, how bad **IS** my judgement?!?! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/2 "2002-04-02T04:24:58Z")
Did you see a picture of the murder? Is it a fairly common name such as Bob Smith, or more uncommon, like Gloppenshpeil Dingushopper? In either case, I hope you didn’t part on bad terms. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/3 "2002-04-02T04:33:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shera \* > \*\*Did you see a picture of the murder? Is it a fairly common name such as Bob Smith, or more uncommon, like Gloppenshpeil Dingushopper? In either case, I hope you didn’t part on bad terms. :eek: \*\* No - the police are releasing very little information - they kept showing the victim (I guess 'cus he’s already dead, they figure it can’t hurt) but they haven’t released a picture of the suspect - only the name, which is **Kelly Patrick Palmer** which is not exactly Gloppenshpeil Dingushopper, but it’s not exactly Bob Smith either, especially since they release all three names… I haven’t actually spoke to this fella since about 1995 so I can’t imagine he would have any particular beef with me, but it’s still creepy… ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/4 "2002-04-02T15:31:18Z")
At least he doesn’t seem like a very good hitman. But that would really creep me out… Be careful ok? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/5 "2002-04-02T15:32:01Z")
Take the positive view! Look at this as your ticket into the fascinating life of a gun moll! ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/6 "2002-04-02T16:42:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*There’s a story in the news here in Calgary about a fella with rather nefarious connections, that was recently murdered, gang-land style, shot in his car at a red light. (That just doesn’t happen here in Calgary). > > \*\* Didn’t the victim have like 8 attempts on his life in the last few years? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/7 "2002-04-02T16:47:23Z")
Two reactions: 1. To the thread title: “What, you used to go out with **DaveW0071**?” 2. To the suspect’s name: “The middle name isn’t ‘Wayne’!” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Raini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@Raini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raini)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/8 "2002-04-02T16:53:35Z")
Alice in Wonderland… does this mean you are a canadian doper? If so…then i take back my last post regarding never having seen any dopers from this area! As for the murder thing…i’ve heard alot about it (since i only live an hour from calgary). Dont stress it…just be greatful it wasnt you he killed! lol…talk about a life lesson you can share with your future children! Come to think of it…i wish someone would take out one or two of my x’s! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/9 "2002-04-02T18:36:02Z")
Man - If I’m going to be a bikers maul, I’m going to have to get an entire new wardrobe… I still haven’t been able to find a piture of this character - one of my friends saw a pic on this morning’s news but all he remembered was that the guy had a shaved head, which is totally possible. I’m half tempted to phone the police service and inquire, but I think that may be a can of worms that I just don’t want to open. Regarding life lessons - what lesson is this? Don’t live with lazy slobs that are secretely hired killers? Riiiiiight - I’ll pass that on to my grandkids for sure… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/10 "2002-04-02T18:45:53Z")
I’m dying to know, so how was he? I mean was he a sweet romantic sort of fellowwho was tender in bed and loved kittens and puppies or was he sort of manly man with a bad boy streakand a .38 always tucked in the back of his pants? ---
**Author:** ![LiquidLobotomy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/898d66/32.png) [@LiquidLobotomy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiquidLobotomy)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/11 "2002-04-02T18:53:52Z")
If he was a good assassin you’d never know it. But then again sense he was caught by the police it shows that he’s fairly green around the edges. A true hired gun can go undetected for decades and, unless the victim were inclined to that sort of thing, would never use a drivebye style shooting to eliminate his target. You gotta make it realistic if you are going to escape police capture. I wouldn’t worry Alice, it sounds like this bum has already been nabbed. Besides the number one rule in professional killing is never to kill someone you know. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/12 "2002-04-02T19:44:19Z")
Holy Crap. I saw the guy on the news, too. He’s a big guy, shaved head. Mustache that goes down to his chin, but not a big droopy one. Looks like a wrestler to me. About time another Cal-doper had a bad boyfriend! 😉 And he’s not even named Wayne. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/13 "2002-04-02T20:47:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > About time another Cal-doper had a bad boyfriend! Aw c’mon, **Ginger** , don’t be _too_ hard on **Weirddave** , he’s really a decent guy once you get to know him…😃 ::_D&R_:: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/14 "2002-04-02T20:55:53Z")
I bet he killed the guy because he was depressed you broke up with him. Kidding! Seriously, please keep us posted on what you find out. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who became a murderer. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/15 "2002-04-02T21:11:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\*Two reactions: > > 1. To the thread title: “What, you used to go out with **DaveW0071**?” > > 2. To the suspect’s name: “The middle name isn’t ‘Wayne’!” 😉 \*\* Hey. HEY! I’ve never, ever been to Calgary in my life. OK, we honeymooned in Toronto, but that’s the closest I’ve been! And my middle name isn’t Wayne, either. Honest. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/16 "2002-04-03T01:39:43Z")
Actually, if you’re looking for criminals whose middle name is Wayne, [News of the Weird](http://www.newsoftheweird.com) has a lot of them! Just search for “The Classic Middle Name”. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/17 "2002-04-03T01:52:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > \*\*Aw c’mon, **Ginger** , don’t be _too_ hard on **Weirddave** , he’s really a decent guy once you get to know him…😃 > > ::_D&R_:: \*\* Numpty. You know I meant Ginger Beef. Whose name happened to be Wayne. Duck all you want, dear. I’m coming for you in a month. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/18 "2002-04-03T03:55:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\* I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who became a murderer. \*\* One of my dad’s best friends has killed. He said it was self-defense, but he was convicted of murder. One of my great-uncles killed a man back in the days when you could get away with it if they deserved it. The guy he shot had threatened to shoot my great-uncles’ kids. So he took the law into his hands. Another of … well, nevermind you don’t want to know about that. ---
**Author:** ![galen\_ubal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/galen_ubal/32/4440_2.png) [@galen\_ubal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/galen_ubal)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/19 "2002-04-03T07:00:56Z")
Note to self: **alice** likes the rough boys. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335/20 "2002-04-03T15:53:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LiquidLobotomy \* > \*\*A true hired gun can go undetected for decades and, unless the victim were inclined to that sort of thing, would never use a drivebye style shooting to eliminate his target. … > Besides the number one rule in professional killing is never to kill someone you know. \*\* and- you know this- how? Is there something we need to know, LL? :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yikes-i-think-my-ex-may-be-a-hired-killer/101335.md?page=2)