# Yo lezlers- if you got something to say to me, just say it. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 17, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460 "2010-04-17T16:08:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/61 "2010-04-18T03:17:23Z")
Ok, first of all, **even sven** rocks. Second of all, MPSIMS threads about social etiquette annoy the piss out of me. My philosophy is pretty simple. First, always assume the best of people. Second, if you don’t like an action taken by another person, tell them you don’t like it. If you don’t have the courage to tell someone you don’t like something they did, then STFU because it probably doesn’t really matter. If being offended gives you that much pleasure then go get a real interpersonal problem instead of some made-up one based on your own class and cultural bias about what’s ‘‘proper.’’ Etiquette threads almost universally violate my four simple rules. So fuck etiquette threads and the passive-aggressive bullshit within them. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/62 "2010-04-18T03:45:09Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Seriously? Shut up, you weren’t even around then. She knows that’s a compliment - a lot of us have her on our “Most Improved Doper” awards list. Hey, guess what: you actually did find a way to make it more condescending. Shut the fuck up, you skanky yeast-ridden douchebag. > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I respect that she considers that a compliment, but if I ever earn a similar award (not likely) don’t even fucking tell me. I would feel patronized to. yes. > [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > As for that other thread, what the fuck did Cameroon have to do with the price of tea. People were coming at her sideways out of the blue. Not Lezlers, for the record, who I could at least see why she felt she had to respond hard (she didn’t appreciate being called silly or whatever), but random posters dropping in to bring up irrellevant shit on even sven was just baffling. I have no idea what this means, but I recall Ms. Nzinga being big and proud, so kudos. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/63 "2010-04-18T03:49:41Z")
I dunno, I don’t have a problem with them so much. Lots of people just don’t know how to handle the different situations they find themselves in each day. Hell, every single one of us falls into that at some point or another. Asking other people how they would handle it or what you should do - and/or reading other people’s threads on the like - is a great way to “borrow wisdom” from others and get over whatever stupid ideas we might have in our own head about how we should or should not react. There are some times where we write something out, and the very process of doing so, like the process of saying something out loud to people, gives us insight into what we’re really thinking, clues us in that we’re not acting at our best, or exposes our own folly so that we change the way we act. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/64 "2010-04-18T03:57:56Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I dunno, I don’t have a problem with them so much. Lots of people just don’t know how to handle the different situations they find themselves in each day. Hell, every single one of us falls into that at some point or another. Asking other people how they would handle it or what you should do - and/or reading other people’s threads on the like - is a great way to “borrow wisdom” from others and get over whatever stupid ideas we might have in our own head about how we should or should not react. > > There are some times where we write something out, and the very process of doing so, like the process of saying something out loud to people, gives us insight into what we’re really thinking, clues us in that we’re not acting at our best, or exposes our own folly so that we change the way we act. Wow, that’s touching. And wrong. The answer to “What should I do?” is always “Teabag them” or, better yet, “Get drunk, _then_ teabag them.” And the SDMB, despite it’s other benefits, should not be the place you go to for social advice. Wow. You’ll end up in a polyamorous relationship with some fatties who like to tie each other up, and getting outraged over people sneezing incorrectly will be _de rigueur_. Seriously? This shit is for entertainment. Anything else is asking a bunch of nerds how not to be a nerd. It just won’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/65 "2010-04-18T04:06:05Z")
If that’s all you want, then by all means, be entertained. Somewhere along the line you’re still going to learn something through the interaction process, even if you don’t realize it. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/66 "2010-04-18T04:09:43Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > If that’s all you want, then by all means, be entertained. Somewhere along the line you’re still going to learn something through the interaction process, even if you don’t realize it. Disagree. You, of course, will learn from me, but the inverse is not necessarily true. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/67 "2010-04-18T04:14:07Z")
> [@ivn1188](#): > > And the SDMB, despite it’s other benefits, should not be the place you go to for social advice. Wow. You’ll end up in a polyamorous relationship with some fatties who like to tie each other up, and getting outraged over people sneezing incorrectly will be _de rigueur_.. Okay, this right here is pretty funny. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/68 "2010-04-18T04:25:35Z")
(Maybe it happened to him) ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/69 "2010-04-18T04:29:06Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I dunno, I don’t have a problem with them so much. Lots of people just don’t know how to handle the different situations they find themselves in each day. Hell, every single one of us falls into that at some point or another. Asking other people how they would handle it or what you should do - and/or reading other people’s threads on the like - is a great way to “borrow wisdom” from others and get over whatever stupid ideas we might have in our own head about how we should or should not react. > > There are some times where we write something out, and the very process of doing so, like the process of saying something out loud to people, gives us insight into what we’re really thinking, clues us in that we’re not acting at our best, or exposes our own folly so that we change the way we act. Oh, **Chimera** , you and your humanitarian reason. I don’t deny there are times where using others as a sounding board is a good idea. It’s the judgmental/catty/passive-aggressive bullshit I can’t stand. In this particular instance, the solution to the problem is very simple. ‘‘Hi, I want to come to your party, but I can’t take responsibility for providing everything. I’m willing to provide X. Maybe you can get some of the other guests to bring the rest? Cool, thanks so much for your understanding. See you Saturday!’’ Of course, I wouldn’t really give a shit if someone wanted me to bring all that stuff, because I don’t think human relationships have some kind of mandatory reciprocal exchange policy. Some people think that makes me a pushover, but what it actually means is I don’t give a fuck about petty bullshit like who brings the wine. If I like hanging out with someone, I’ll bring 10 bottles of wine. Why the hell not? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/70 "2010-04-18T04:30:29Z")
\*\*Lezlers \*\*never wanted etiquette advice. She wanted agreement that she was being put upon. When **even sven** dared to answer **lezler’s** original fake question, she went all apeshit on **even sven** for not affirming her feelings. She should have just said right upfront that what she wanted was for someone to pat her back. Evidently **even sven** has gone far too long not patting **lezlers’** back. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/71 "2010-04-18T05:50:04Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > \*\*Lezlers \*\*never wanted etiquette advice. She wanted agreement that she was being put upon. When **even sven** dared to answer **lezler’s** original fake question, she went all apeshit on **even sven** for not affirming her feelings. She should have just said right upfront that what she wanted was for someone to pat her back. Evidently **even sven** has gone far too long not patting **lezlers’** back. That’s the point. The purpose of the thread was perfectly obvious to anyone but the most socially clueless. Which means that, by responding otherwise, you knew you were threadshitting and therefore being a jerk. And if you are socially clueless, you shouldn’t be giving advice in a social thread. I hate this expectation bullshit as much as the next person. I hate melodrama caused by lack of communication. But I also know that telling that to the person currently freaking out will not help. Your choices are to compassionately try to help them out, leave them alone, or wind up insulting them. And if you insult someone, even unintentionally, you are quite likely to be insulted back. * * * What I do think it unfair to **sven** is that apparently there have been a bunch of people who have taken issue with how she words things, and rather than tell them themselves, they had to pop out in that thread and throw insults. She was totally blindsided, and that is unfair. I’d have preferred her to pit everyone who insulted her, but for some reason she decided to only pit the one person that I think had a legitimate (if poorly expressed, hyperbolic) gripe. **lezlers** may have been mean about it, but at least she communicated what bugged her. Too many of y’all seem to be saying she shouldn’t have, or, worse, should have somehow made herself not feel that way at all ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/72 "2010-04-18T08:22:27Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Bullshit. > > Lezzie is a […] > > Lezzies insults […] > > That lezzie is […] I’m increasingly puzzled that so many people continue to use pejoratives specific to sexual orientation to insult someone who is straight. Obviously, **bucketybuck** is poking **lezlers** with a pointy stick he saved from when he was in junior high, because insinuating a straight woman is a lesbian will probably cast a pall of suspicion upon her heterosexual status, and she will live in shame forever that someone might thinks she’s a lesbian because of this tired, bigoted insult. Jesus. How old are you, **bucketybuck**? Surely you have learned the art of insulting someone by now based on their own shortcomings, rather than trying to insult her by associating her username with a demographic who, to my knowledge, has not personally harmed you or anyone, nor shown any reason to be chastised for their views on parties and hostesses based upon identifying as lesbians. HEY! NEWSFLASH! Lesbians, just like straight men and women, albeit less so than gay men, are lovely hosts and are quite gracious when extending invitations to their friends and acquaintances and even the occasional bigot who may wander by. We’re really quite charming and kind, and also tend to refrain from resorting to bigoted, juvenile insults. > [@lezlers](#): > > Only thing I have to say about this is…my username is **lezlers** , not “lezzie.” If you’re going to insult me so viciously based on some rather tame snarkiness in a IMHO forum, you can at least get that much right.[…] Wait. “Lezzie” is a **vicious** insult? _ **Vicious?!** _ Are you fucking kidding me? **bucketybuck** ’s use of “lezzie” to insult you was childish and stupid, not to mention unoriginal. But you think an insinuation in jest that you are a lesbian is _vicious_? Holy shit, not only are you a fucking passive aggressive drama queen, you’re an ignorant, homophobic, snob. Frankly, I’m glad you aren’t a lesbian. My friends and I, “lesbians,” if I may viciously refer to them by their sexual orientation without hurting them beyond repair for mentioning one mere part of what makes them the loving and accepting group of women of which I’m proud to be a part, have difficulties understanding the concept of people like you. Not your sexuality – we fully accept that you were born who you are and are glad you’ve found happiness as a straight woman. We just don’t understand your hatred for us, and why a lame attempt at humour suggesting you are a lesbian is so “vicious” in your mind. Did a lesbian bite you when you were a small child? I do not believe we will be inviting you to our next game night. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/73 "2010-04-18T08:30:07Z")
**Five** , lesbians are assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/74 "2010-04-18T08:51:18Z")
My username is **Fiveroptic** , and having been a lesbian for my entire life, I can safely assume that I have known many more lesbians than you ever will. I must also assume that based upon your stellar ignorance and sweeping generalization that have no basis in fact, that you are very young, uneducated, small-minded, possibly confused regarding your own burgeoning sexuality, and a most unpleasant person in mixed social circles. Yup, some lesbians are assholes, and I certainly can take credit for being one at times, just like every other subset of society. However, right now you’re only proving the point that you, **AClockworkMelon** , are a tool with no credibility. Nah, really you’ve mostly proved that you’re an asshole. ---
**Author:** ![ivn1188](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e480ec/32.png) [@ivn1188](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivn1188)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/75 "2010-04-18T08:51:53Z")
> [@Fiveroptic](#): > > I > Frankly, I’m glad you aren’t a lesbian. My friends and I, “lesbians,” if I may viciously refer to them by their sexual orientation without hurting them beyond repair for mentioning one mere part of what makes them the loving and accepting group of women of which I’m proud to be a part, have difficulties understanding the concept of people like you. I think where you said “lesbian” you meant “dyke”. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/76 "2010-04-18T09:00:09Z")
> [@Fiveroptic](#): > > My username is **Fiveroptic** , and having been a lesbian for my entire life, I can safely assume that I have known many more lesbians than you ever will. I must also assume that based upon your stellar ignorance and sweeping generalization that have no basis in fact, that you are very young, uneducated, small-minded, possibly confused regarding your own burgeoning sexuality, and a most unpleasant person in mixed social circles. > > Yup, some lesbians are assholes, and I certainly can take credit for being one at times, just like every other subset of society. However, right now you’re only proving the point that you, **AClockworkMelon** , are a tool with no credibility. > > Nah, really you’ve mostly proved that you’re an asshole. Listen to me, **Fives** , you’re obviously just raising a rabble. I’ll bet that girl Constance is a real fucking hero to you, huh? A regular Harry Potter, isn’t she? Have you heard the good news? Heaven: It’s real.And if you don’t accept His grace you’re not seeing a lick (!) of it. ---
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/77 "2010-04-18T09:56:01Z")
> [@Fiveroptic](#): > > Wait. > “Lezzie” is a **vicious** insult? _ **Vicious?!** _ Are you fucking kidding me? I’m pretty sure that lezlers was referring to “passive agressive moron” as a vicious insult, not “lezzie”. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/78 "2010-04-18T12:35:52Z")
> [@Fiveroptic](#): > > We just don’t understand your hatred for us, and why a lame attempt at humour suggesting you are a lesbian is so “vicious” in your mind. Did a lesbian bite you when you were a small child? It couldn’t be that. Because she would turn into a lesbian everytime there’s a full moon. I’m sure there’s a movie you could make out of that story. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/79 "2010-04-18T13:14:24Z")
> [@Fiveroptic](#): > > My username is **Fiveroptic** , and having been a lesbian for my entire life, I can safely assume that I have known many more lesbians than you ever will. I must also assume that based upon your stellar ignorance and sweeping generalization that have no basis in fact, that you are very young, uneducated, small-minded, possibly confused regarding your own burgeoning sexuality, and a most unpleasant person in mixed social circles. > > Yup, some lesbians are assholes, and I certainly can take credit for being one at times, just like every other subset of society. However, right now you’re only proving the point that you, **AClockworkMelon** , are a tool with no credibility. > > Nah, really you’ve mostly proved that you’re an asshole. Fucking lesbians. Not that I have to justify myself to some harpie on the internet, but my intent was never to call lezzie a lesbian, I just didnt like her enough to go check the spelling on her fucking name. You obviously think about lesbeens all day, every day, but dont project your paranoia onto the rest of us, we dont go around looking for excuses to use sexuality as an insult. Fuck, if there is one thing I hate more then passive agressive morons, it is insecure lesbians who look for and find offence everywhere they look. Go away you whiney bitch. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460/80 "2010-04-18T13:24:41Z")
What just happened? I dropped in to snark on the “most improved Doper” concept—akin to winning the “Best Spirit” trophy at the Square Peg/Round Hole Olympiad—and all of a sudden it’s a “ur a dyke LOL!” vs. “I’ve known more lesbians with my _little finger_…” playground brawl. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-lezlers-if-you-got-something-to-say-to-me-just-say-it/536460.md?page=5)