# Yo Mama jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 14, 2015, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669 "2015-02-14T21:10:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/21 "2015-02-16T17:52:55Z")
Yo mama’s so fat that the fire marshal made her favorite restaurant put up a sign that says, “maximum occupancy: 200 people or Yo Mama.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/22 "2015-02-16T17:53:33Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Yo mama is so buck toothed, she can eat corn on the cob through a picket fence. Reminds me of David Niven once commenting on Terry Thomas: “He could eat an apple through a tennis racket.” And by the way, Yo’ Mama is like a birthday cake. _Everybody_ gets a piece. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/23 "2015-02-16T17:55:10Z")
Yo Mama’s so busted, if she solved a crime, she would be rewarded with a Scooby-Snack. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/24 "2015-02-16T18:01:17Z")
I saw yo mamma in the bank today. I called her a two-bit ho and she got so mad, she hit me over the head with a bag of quarters. Yo mamma’s glasses be so thick that when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her. And yo daddy’s so fat they use his belt as a first down chain at the football stadium. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/25 "2015-02-16T18:54:50Z")
Yo momma’s so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/26 "2015-02-16T19:09:03Z")
Yo mamma so fat, it takes 2 Borg cubes to assimilate her Yo mamma so fat, they have to put another notch in the Van Allen belt And more erudite: Yo mamma so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, it turned to Skittles ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/27 "2015-02-16T19:10:32Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > Yo mama so fat, when she wears her red dress the neighbor kids yell “Hey Kool-Aid!” Yo mama so fat, when people yell “Hey Kool-Aid”, she come bustin’ through the wall. ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2015, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/28 "2015-02-16T21:33:56Z")
Yo mama’s so dumb she was driving me to the airport and when she saw the sign that said “Airport - Left” she turned around and went home. Yo mama’s so poor, when I asked her why she was kicking a can down the street she said “I’m Movin” Yo mama’s so fat she offers guided donkey tours down her butt crack Yo mama’s so stank Tacoma complained ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/29 "2015-02-17T01:27:02Z")
Yo momma such a stupid ho, she named all 14 of her kids \ so she can call of you all at one time. If she only wants one to come, she uses their last names. Yo momma so poor that, at Thanksgiving, she took you to KFC to lick other peoples fingers. Yo momma such a drunk that she took a blood test; it came back AB positive and 28 proof. Leuzinger High School in Lawndale CA, early eighties. I used these almost daily to avoid physical fights. If you out-dissed somebody, it was wrong to beat up the winner. Peace - DESK ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/30 "2015-02-17T01:48:50Z")
Yo mamas like a race car, burns up 4 rubbers every time she goes out. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/31 "2015-02-17T01:49:41Z")
Yo mama is so boring, I can’t make no jokes about her! ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/32 "2015-02-17T16:21:45Z")
I cannot comment on your mother for in my country cows are sacred. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/33 "2015-02-17T17:09:27Z")
Well _your_ mommas must not have raised you right, because these are not nice things to say. (Stolen from 30 Rock) Yo momma so fat, her Patronus is a pie. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/34 "2015-02-17T17:49:10Z")
Yo mama’s so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck. A [series of Shakespearean and literary Yo Mama jokes](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16840312&postcount=20758) from another thread. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/35 "2015-02-17T18:22:17Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Yo mamas like a race car, burns up 4 rubbers every time she goes out. I used to love telling these in school, even before I knew what they _really_ meant. Yo Momma’s like a TV set, a 3 year old can turn her on Yo Momma’s like 7-Eleven, open 24 hours a day Yo Momma’s like the transcontinental railroad, she’s been laid across the country Yo Momma’s like a door knob, every one gets a turn Yo Momma’s like a bus, people get on and off her all day Yo Momma’s like a stop sign, you see her at every corner Yo Momma’s like a gun, one cock and she blows Yo Momma’s like a rooster, but instead of “Cock-a-doodle-doo”, she goes “Any cock will do” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/36 "2015-02-18T08:18:00Z")
Yo Momma’s so ugly, she has to wear a pork chop to get the dog to play with her. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Greenjeans](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.greenjeans/32/551_2.png) [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/37 "2015-02-18T12:25:17Z")
My favorite from Eric Cartman: Your momma’s so poor she walks down the street with one shoe on, and when people ask her if she lost one she says, “No, I found one.” ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/38 "2015-02-19T00:00:14Z")
If ugly was bricks, yo Momma would be the projects. Yo Momma’s breath so stank, I had to hang up the phone. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/39 "2015-02-19T01:22:22Z")
Yo Mama is so poor that she is in at least the third generation of unemployment and public dependency, trapped from birth in an impoverished, socially dysfunctional and dangerous inner-city environment, poorly and meagerly educated at underfunded public schools, forced to raise her several children without the help or presence of their several fathers, dooming herself and you and in all probability your own children and grandchildren, should you survive the mean streets long enough to reproduce, to squalid, useless lives of want, ignorance and desperation. Oooooh, SNAP! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/40 "2015-02-19T04:20:37Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > Yo Momma’s like a rooster, but instead of “Cock-a-doodle-doo”, she goes _“Any cock will do”_ “Any cock’ll do.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669.md?page=3)