# Yo Mama jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 14, 2015, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669 "2015-02-14T21:10:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/41 "2015-02-19T04:31:28Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Yo Mama is so poor that she is in at least the third generation of unemployment and public dependency, trapped from birth in an impoverished, socially dysfunctional and dangerous inner-city environment, poorly and meagerly educated at underfunded public schools, forced to raise her several children without the help or presence of their several fathers, dooming herself and you and in all probability your own children and grandchildren, should you survive the mean streets long enough to reproduce, to squalid, useless lives of want, ignorance and desperation. > > Oooooh, SNAP! 😃 Between this, the “so classless she could be a Marxist utopia” and “so fat she bends light” I think I have re-won my teenage son’s respect. Thank you, SDMB! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ellie303](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/53a042/32.png) [@ellie303](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ellie303)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/42 "2015-02-19T05:06:15Z")
Yo mama’s pussy is so dry…her crabs carry canteens lol I heard some teenager say that the other day. ---
**Author:** ![Stealth\_Bragg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4bbf92/32.png) [@Stealth\_Bragg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stealth_Bragg)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/43 "2015-02-19T12:39:19Z")
Your mother is so fat, she can suck-start a Harley Davidson motorcycle. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/44 "2015-02-19T16:22:03Z")
Yo Mama so ugly, she tried to enter an Ugly Contest but they said “Sorry, no professionals.” ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/45 "2015-02-19T21:50:23Z")
Y’all are amteurs. Lets get up in this thing! (That’s what your Momma said, anyway!!) Your Momma so poor, they made a food stamp with her face on it! Yo Momma so poor she got married just for the rice! Yo Momma so poor she keep opening e-mail hoping to get some SPAM. Yo Momma so fat she wore a sheet for Halloween and folks thought she was Antarctica. Yo Momma so fat, when she went to the beach GreenPeace rolled her into the water. Yo Momma so big, when the preacher healed her she coughed up Jonah! Yo Momma so big, she take a shower at the car wash! Yo Momma so fat Doctor said her blood type is “Ragu.” Yo Momma so trifling, she bragged about her luggage came with extra twist ties! Yo Momma so trifling, she do her nails with Rustoleum. ---
**Author:** ![Flander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/46 "2015-02-20T00:51:36Z")
> [@HubZilla](#): > > I used to love telling these in school, even before I knew what they _really_ meant. > > Yo Momma’s like a TV set, a 3 year old can turn her on > Yo Momma’s like 7-Eleven, open 24 hours a day > Yo Momma’s like the transcontinental railroad, she’s been laid across the country > Yo Momma’s like a door knob, every one gets a turn > Yo Momma’s like a bus, people get on and off her all day > Yo Momma’s like a stop sign, you see her at every corner > Yo Momma’s like a gun, one cock and she blows > Yo Momma’s like a rooster, but instead of “Cock-a-doodle-doo”, she goes “Any cock will do” Yo Momma’s like a vacuum cleaner, she sucks, blows, and gets laid in the corner. She’s so fat, after sex I rolled over three times and was still on her! Her teeth are so yellow when she smiles, cars slow down. ---
**Author:** ![HubZilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ccd318/32.png) [@HubZilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HubZilla)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/47 "2015-02-20T02:20:13Z")
Yo Momma’s like a bowling ball. She gets picked up, fingered, thrown in the gutter, and always comes back for more. ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2015, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/48 "2015-02-21T04:23:37Z")
Yo Momma’s so old she sat behind Jesus in third grade. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2015, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/49 "2015-02-22T21:21:27Z")
Oh darn, I misread. I thought these would be Yo Yo Ma jokes. ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2015, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/50 "2015-02-23T01:00:34Z")
> [@Learjeff](#): > > Oh darn, I misread. I thought these would be Yo Yo Ma jokes. Yo Momma so old, that when she he heard Yo-Yo ma play the Sarabande from Bach’s Suite in C minor (#5), she was like “What’s up with these kids and their modern music?” What’s the difference between Yo-Yo Ma and Yo Momma? One has a name that makes you think of a toy that anybody can play with for a dollar or two and the other…never-mind. ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2015, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669/51 "2015-02-23T02:10:48Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > Yo Mama so ugly, she tried to enter an Ugly Contest but they said “Sorry, no professionals.” Reading this thread again ( I love YM jokes ) I see that dream-scraper posted this one several days before me. I hang my head in shame. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-mama-jokes/712669.md?page=2)