# Yo, New Yorkers! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 15, 1999, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477 "1999-10-15T18:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/61 "1999-10-18T18:05:00Z")
Gee, Melanie, it looks like we’ll be able to split four men between the two of us–just like living in Alaska! I will probably meet Ike at his office and come with him–Mel’s description of him is pretty much on target, though I don’t know if today is his herringbone tweed or houndstooth check day. I’m in a white cardigan, pearls and burgundy skirt–only my hair looks Victorian today, I’m afraid. “Scraggly?” “Stocky?” You must learn to call yourself “zaftig” and your hair “silky,” dear! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/62 "1999-10-18T18:09:00Z")
Kosher restaurant? I think it’s a COSSACK restaurant. Those of us with a lick of the shtetl in our lineage will be nervously glancing over our shoulders, waiting for the pogrom to begin. But it’ll be fun, nonetheless. Anderson in tweed pretty much does it, as far as my descrip goes…6 foot tall, brown tweed jacket today, wire-rim cheaters. I’m afraid I left my Lester Young-style porkpie hat at home today, but next time… ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/63 "1999-10-18T18:12:00Z")
Is this the kind of place that will give me crap for wearing jeans? And how am I going to find you wingnuts? * * * “The world ends when I die. And as far as I’m concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.” – Matt Groening ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/64 "1999-10-18T18:16:00Z")
Flora, I have a LOT to learn from you - lessons will begin tonight. Oh, and before I forget, my roommate prepared a little something for you! I’m sure you’ll want to burn it. Alphie, you can wear jeans. Nobody cares about anything at this place. Maybe we should just accost everyone who comes in the door. Any word on reservations, yet, Manhattan? ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/65 "1999-10-18T18:16:00Z")
## Heh. Obviously, I’m one of those morons who used to fails tests in school because I didn’t notice that there was more than one page! “The world ends when I die. And as far as I’m concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.” – Matt Groening ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/66 "1999-10-18T18:33:00Z")
They still aren’t picking up the phone. I guess if I served (and consumed) vodka until 4:00 am every day, I’d be late for work a lot, too. Sure hope they’re open on Mondays. We probably won’t get a reservation anyway. The review says they don’t offer them. ## I’ll let you know if anything changes. Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/67 "1999-10-18T19:16:00Z")
Well, if they’re closed on Mondays we will just congregate outside the door and go someplace that DESERVES our patronage. Shouldn’t be hard to find on 52nd Street. Oh, Melanie, Ike and I already think of you as the daughter we never had . . . We so look forward to influencing and corrupting your mind. ---
**Author:** ![manhattan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manhattan/32/7_2.png) [@manhattan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manhattan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/68 "1999-10-18T19:17:00Z")
I have reserved a table at the Russian Vodka Room for 6:00 this evening under the name “Straight Dope.” They seemed quite nice when I explained that we’d have drinkers and probably not eaters, that we’d straggle in over the course of an hour or so, and that no, no one knew anybody. Guess Monday’s not the busy day at RVR. Anyhoo, just identify yourself as part of the Straight Dope party when you get there, and you’ll be all set. * * * Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/69 "1999-10-18T19:23:00Z")
…and I’m sure the DEA has already been notified. MELANIE! Have you brushed your scraggly hair yet this morning? That blue shirt…it looks like you SLEPT in it! And you finish every DROP of your vodka, missy, or NO caviare and blinis for you! Flora, make sure that young lady’s in bed, LIGHTS OUT, by 9:30, or she’s GROUNDED. ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/70 "1999-10-18T19:32:00Z")
So how do I fit into the family dynamic here? I hope they don’t point me towards the “Shooting Dope” party. Well, maybe we’ll meet up afterwards. ## Everyone come with a list of SD posters you’d like to bitch about! 🙂 “The world ends when I die. And as far as I’m concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too.” – Matt Groening ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/71 "1999-10-18T19:41:00Z")
Everyone always wants to be my parents. But so far, Flora and Uke are the most caring and understanding ones. BTW, this one guy down the hall actually comes in and combs my hair every morning - I am not joking. I guess Flora and Uke won’t be mad when I start “borrowing” money from them, too! Heh. Alphagene, there’s a place for everyone. Maybe you can be our family drug dealer! So far my list is quite extensive. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/72 "1999-10-18T19:53:00Z")
Melanie, dear, Ike and I are both in publishing–if you can get money out of us, I have a stone here I’d like to get a blood sample from, too. Alpha, and you Manhattan can be our sons and Mel’s brothers–or the pool boy and the cute guy who cuts the lawn . . . Depending on what y’all look like. –Mrs. Robinson ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/73 "1999-10-18T20:06:00Z")
[gruffly] Well…as long as they don’t come crawling into our bed at two in the morning… ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/74 "1999-10-18T20:26:00Z")
Hmmm, now Ike, let’s not be hasty . . . Lemme get a look at them before I decide who I want crawling into my bed. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 1999, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/75 "1999-10-18T21:37:00Z")
This evening??? Well, that’s a bit too sudden for me to change my plans (with my wife)…I assumed we were talking about some unspecified date in the near future. Sorry I won’t be able to make it…maybe next get-together! Chaim Mattis Keller ---
**Author:** ![FlatULance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@FlatULance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlatULance)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/76 "2000-05-05T14:16:10Z")
Ooh! I truly do \*\*\* LOVES \*\*\*a catfight! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [May 5, 2000, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477/77 "2000-05-05T16:54:58Z")
> [@](#): > > **I’ll reduce this cabal to a group of tour guides. I’ll want to see everything. The Rockettes, the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, the bums in the Bowery. All of it.** Sorry, the Statue of Liberty is in New Jersey. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/yo-new-yorkers/9477.md?page=3)