### Author:  [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [April 9, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/1 "2003-04-09T05:54:37Z")
Dear Crushlink:
You’ve been stalking me for years now.
It started in high school … I was a lonely outcast with few friends and fewer female. “Ooh, someone has a crush on me. Maybe my life isn’t so pathetic after all.”
That first crush. That elusive crush. I never did find out who it was.
You taunted me so … every few weeks you sent me an email. “Guess these clues right and we’ll tell you who your crush is!” I was a fool. I was a lonely, depressed fool. I was a lonely, outcast, ostracized, depressed fool and I guessed.
Forgive me, Cecil, for I have sinned.
In ensuing months crushlink tried to get me time and again. And every time I would get _that_ close … I actually guessed one right once, I think. I boldly entered the email addresses fo people it might be, oblivious to what this was doing to them (“Someone has a crush on YOU! Click here to find out who it is!” AAAAAAAAUGH!).
Once in a while Crushlink tried to entrap me again. They’d send a hint, and it made no sense (come to think of it, I don’t ever remember entering hints when I used that service). “She’s really fond of penguins, and she’s been to Lithuania.” Great, [Crushlink.com](http://Crushlink.com), but I know nobody like that. So either someone’s been fucking with you, or you’re making it up. Either way, I don’t give two shits. I don’t like penguins and I have no desire to go to Lithuania. It would be doomed from the start. Alas, alack, all is lost, dies irae, dies illa, etc.
But I was not the only doper taken in by the wily ways of [crushlink.com](http://crushlink.com). Yea, verily, “Okay, so who has a crush on me?” proves that. And in the end it was one doper sending a [crushlink.com](http://crushlink.com) email to another doper who guessed at a few possibilities (myself included), which got me guessing at a few possibilities. It’s Six degrees of Dopers, Crushlink style. Connect Polycarp back to … himself! (answer: cjhoworth, myself, Guin, back to Polycarp. Or something. I might have half of that reversed. Whatever. Dies irae, etc.)
And then today. Years after I, so foolishly but feeling so utterly alone, registered at [Crushlink.com](http://Crushlink.com), I get this email:
“We’ll tell you who your crush is!”
Purely for shits and giggles, I open the email.
“Click here to find out who your crush is!”
Why the fuck should I care, you ask? I have a fiancee, and if anyone has a crush on me they’re mostly wasting their time if they’re hoping it’ll become anything hot and steamy. Sorry to be so blunt, but it’s true.
Out of mild curiosity as to if Crushlink actually still _remembered_ who this supposed crush was (and really, I signed up so long ago it would probably be someone from a hbz chatroom. Either that or a prank), I click on the link.
All I have to do is enter my physical address and other identifying information and Presto Chango my Crush is revealed!
Fuckthatshit. Uh-Uh. I want the fucking creator of that site to sign a document IN BLOOD stating that s/he will not only reveal to me the names of my theoretical “crushes” but will also stop the program entirely. That’s right, folks, no periodical “Click here to find out a hint about your secret crush!” emails. I’m sure our lives will all be shattered.
But no. I’ve already gotten phone calls more than once from spammers (had to register for certain amusing/enjoyable services, and figured the prizes I could win [again, forgive me Cecil, for I ahve sinned] were worth them having a phone number I don’t even now use anymore). [Crushlink.com](http://Crushlink.com) is NOT getting my phone number. They are not sending me any more email than I already get from them, nor am I going to get snail mail from them. They will not receive my demographic information. They will never find out anything more about me than I told them that fateful day when I was 16 and very foolish, very lonely, very desperate.
You almost had me, Crushlink. But no. it could never be. See, I am a human being whereas you are a godless, evil-spamming website preying on those who actually believe you care about their personal lives.
Fuck off and die,
iampunha
---
### Author:  [@robotic\_panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robotic_panda)
#### Post date: [April 9, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/2 "2003-04-09T07:58:40Z")
What an awful, backhanded way to harvest e-mail addresses.
Sorry you got roped into it **iampunha**. At least by spreading the word you can help stop the beast.
I can only hope that lots of people suddenly think that [fuck@you.com](mailto:fuck@you.com) is their “crush”'s address.
---
### Author:  [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)
#### Post date: [April 9, 2003, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/3 "2003-04-09T11:51:52Z")
…so you never found out who your crush was?
My secret is safe. 😃
\
Aww, nuts!
---
### Author:  [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)
#### Post date: [April 9, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/4 "2003-04-09T12:15:45Z")
Hell, **Earthworm** , if it took you this fucking long to admit it, I have to wonder if the crush was _that_ strong … I mean, seven fucking years? What, did you break a mirror just as you realized your heart pined for me?😉
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### Author:  [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)
#### Post date: [April 9, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/5 "2003-04-09T13:35:00Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by robotic\_panda \*
> \*\*What an awful, backhanded way to harvest e-mail addresses.
> Sorry you got roped into it iampunha. At least by spreading the word you can help stop the beast.
>
> I can only hope that lots of people suddenly think that [fuck@you.com](mailto:fuck@you.com) is their “crush”'s address. \*\*
Oh, it’s worse than that. See, I tried giving them all sorts of bad email addresses, hoping to gum up the works. But they’re wiley - they knew. They popped up a screen telling me those addresses were invalid, and I needed to enter valid addresses if I wanted to continue.
Pure evil. The creator of this ‘service’ should be dipped in acid, rolled in salt, and fried in bacon grease.
---
### Author:  [@Margo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Margo)
#### Post date: [April 9, 2003, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/6 "2003-04-09T17:56:57Z")
Beezlebubba,
Oh you got the Elvis Cookbook too?
“should be dipped in acid, rolled in salt, and fried in bacon grease.”
Sorry for the hijack…Margo
---
### Author:  [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)
#### Post date: [April 9, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/7 "2003-04-09T19:40:45Z")
I gave them their own damned email addresses. [root@crushlink.com](mailto:root@crushlink.com), [webmaster@crushlink.com](mailto:webmaster@crushlink.com), etc.
Now that you’ve dregged up bad memories, I’m going to go sign up as many crushlink emails as I can think of for loads of spam. 😃
---
### Author:  [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/8 "2003-04-10T00:19:04Z")
I actually went along with them for about two weeks. Then I realized that 1. very few people knew my email addy at that time, and 2. none of these people would be likely to have a crush on me. (That plus the fact that at that time I didn’t have any email addys to guess.) They are pretty horrible.
**BlackKnight** , your idea intrigues me.
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### Author:  [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/9 "2003-04-10T00:43:31Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Fuckthatshit. Uh-Uh. I want the fucking creator of that site to sign a document IN BLOOD stating that s/he will not only reveal to me the names of my theoretical “crushes” but will also stop the program entirely. That’s right, folks, no periodical “Click here to find out a hint about your secret crush!” emails. I’m sure our lives will all be shattered.
Even AFTER I foolishly gave them all that information they asked for, the only email I got in response was some extremely cryptic hint (like her name has the letter “A” in it or some shit like that) and ANOTHER fucking link that asked for more info to get another hint.
Fuck that. And fuck them for preying on my loneliness, those soul less bastards.
---
### Author:  [@Netbrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Netbrian)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/10 "2003-04-10T01:37:33Z")
Look on the bright side. At least CrushLink ONLY spams you (they REALLY had me going exactly once, then I became numb. I never signed up.) This one service involving insta-kisses not only spams you, they masquerade as an actual PART of AOL, and ask for your username and password. I really, really hate to think of the people they might have conned into giving away their info to that horrid site.
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### Author:  [@Zenham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenham)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/11 "2003-04-10T04:21:00Z")
The world is awash with fecaloid marketers.
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### Author:  [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/12 "2003-04-10T17:58:13Z")
Hmm, **BlackKnight** ’s idea sounds like devilish fun… But why stop with Crushlink addresses? We could enter the e-mails of all kinds of OTHER spammers, too - porn spammers, Viagra spammers, breast enlargement spammers, etc. I’ve got an in-box full of addresses that are just begging to be misused…
Who says there are no worthwhile causes these days?!
(Upon consideration, I don’t think anyone actually says that)
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### Author:  [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/13 "2003-04-10T19:04:48Z")
Hrrm should I feel bad that I always use [presidnet@whitehouse.gov](mailto:presidnet@whitehouse.gov) as my email address when I sign up for sits that spam me?
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### Author:  [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/14 "2003-04-10T19:48:18Z")
presidnet or president? 😕
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### Author:  [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/15 "2003-04-10T20:00:51Z")
He said “sits” when he meant “sites,” too, **Gnat**.
Hahahahaha, **CRoxer** cna’t tpye!
What?.. Oh.
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### Author:  [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/16 "2003-04-10T20:02:22Z")
Careful, **iampunha**.[Complaining about these scams](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=122170) will only get you [more heartache](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=175894) . . .
😉 😃
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### Author:  [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)
#### Post date: [April 10, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/17 "2003-04-10T20:33:23Z")
I got involved with them too. My old email still gets emails from them.
The webmaster of that site should have hard copies of all the emails sent to people by his site shoved up his ass and then down his throat.
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### Author:  [@guava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guava)
#### Post date: [April 11, 2003, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-almost-had-me-for-a-second-there-crushlink-com/167505/18 "2003-04-11T12:13:47Z")
Reminds me of[How to piss off credit card companies and get away with it](http://maddox.xmission.com/junk_the_junk.html)