# You and Your Sloppy Hole (Open Letter To A FORMER Love) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 25, 2006, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124 "2006-04-25T12:31:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/21 "2006-04-25T22:42:43Z")
What am I missing here? ---
**Author:** ![Daffyd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daffyd/32/8923_2.png) [@Daffyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daffyd)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/22 "2006-04-25T23:20:40Z")
Why would people want to put their shit in other people’s holes? Are there no bathrooms in Atlanta? Wouldn’t that be really messy? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/23 "2006-04-25T23:44:08Z")
Admit it, you twisted and yanked on the male bit one time too many and now you’re trying to blame the sloppy hole for your dysfunction. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/24 "2006-04-25T23:45:55Z")
That OP reads like a Charlie Sheen voicemail. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2006, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/25 "2006-04-25T23:46:29Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > What am I missing here? It helps if you click the link at the end of the OP, ties things together nicely. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/26 "2006-04-26T00:21:11Z")
> [@Gatopescado](#): > > What am I missing here? A passing familiarity with consumer electronics. > [@Daffyd](#): > > Why would people want to put their shit in other people’s holes? Are there no bathrooms in Atlanta? Wouldn’t that be really messy? Dealing effectively with other people’s shit is not so much a “want” as a survival necessity. There are a good many public bathrooms in Atlanta, and I’m only banned from about a fifth of them. > [@PunditLisa](#): > > Admit it, you twisted and yanked on the male bit one time too many and now you’re trying to blame the sloppy hole for your dysfunction. HA. I typed this sentence with my male bit. Fully functional. > [@BoBettie](#): > > That OP reads like a Charlie Sheen voicemail. Thank you for the kind words. Tell Chuck I said to watch his ass around that crazy wife of his. ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/27 "2006-04-26T03:55:23Z")
Drat. Ever since the “5-year-old white boy” thread, I have a mental image of **Askia** as “scowling brother with mp3 player.” So I caught on in about two sentences. Nicely written, though. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/28 "2006-04-26T14:27:12Z")
_:::::faint:::::_😃 That was freakin’ hilarious!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/29 "2006-04-26T14:52:13Z")
Bwa! 😃 **Askia** , you’re awesome. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/30 "2006-04-26T23:01:14Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > This thread idea was apparently funnier in my head than in execution. Oh, well. Apparently . . . :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2006, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/31 "2006-04-26T23:11:32Z")
Face it, **Askia** , you’re just not a player any more. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/32 "2006-04-27T16:51:22Z")
> [@BoBettie](#): > > That OP reads like a Charlie Sheen voicemail. Or a Pat O’Brien voicemail. All that’s missing is doing coke with Betsy. ---
**Author:** ![Cemetery\_Savior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Cemetery\_Savior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cemetery_Savior)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2006, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/33 "2006-04-27T19:27:10Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Making **Askia** Risk Transit Ass. Askia…doesn’t sound like your ass is bearing any of the risk. -Cem ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/34 "2006-04-28T23:36:01Z")
You think you’ve got it bad? My shit is shocking me. Seriously. I keep getting zapped right in my ear canal, goddamn it. ps: Askia, if you were gay, and I was gay, I’d marry you, if gay marriage was legal. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2006, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/35 "2006-04-28T23:49:16Z")
**Askia** ’s gay? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/41988e/32.png) [@El\_Cid\_Viscoso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cid_Viscoso)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/36 "2006-04-29T00:00:35Z")
Gay, bisexual, beast-adept, straight-curious, he should write to Penthouse Forum. Or for them. Whatever. Why’s this in the pit? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/37 "2006-04-29T02:16:01Z")
Apparently **Askia** is not aware of the Easter ham maneuver to rebush loose goods to a smaller inside diameter. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/38 "2006-04-29T05:32:47Z")
> [@rayh](#): > > **Askia** ’s gay? :eek: **Askia** ’s a dude? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/39 "2006-04-29T05:37:38Z")
Incidentally [this](http://www.comicbookresources.com/columns/index.cgi?column=yabs&article=494) was running through my head as I read the OP. > [@](#): > > WHITE LIGHTNING: Oooh, another foxy mama! How about a little CREAM in your COFFEE? > > FLASH: Now that one I got. He’s talking about sex. He’s talking about having sex with Black Canary. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124/40 "2006-04-29T22:33:46Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > You’re no more use to me, or anyone else, and I don’t want to see you again. I got a soldering iron that can make that hole work like new again. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-and-your-sloppy-hole-open-letter-to-a-former-love/354124.md?page=3)