# YOu Are A Ghost: How Do You Communicate with The living? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 13, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009 "2004-10-13T14:37:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/1 "2004-10-13T14:37:50Z")
Suppose you wake up dead one morning (pardon the pun), and you find that your lifeless body will not move. You are now a disembodied spirit! How do you go about contacting your living friends, and let them know that “crossing over” ain’t so bad? Short of appearing to them at night (and scaring the daylights out of them), how do you contact living beings? Just wondering, in case the need should arise! ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/2 "2004-10-13T14:44:00Z")
What all ghosts do… Spook the pets! Tease the cats into staring madly at empty corners and make them run crying full tilt out of the room with wide black eyes. Or whistle at dogs, making them bark for no apparent reason. Or they could just do those things because pets are nuts. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Chairman\_Pow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/838e76/32.png) [@Chairman\_Pow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chairman_Pow)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/3 "2004-10-13T14:47:31Z")
Oh, oh! Writing in steam on the bathroom mirror! Or, I suppose if they’re not the type to use the bathroom mirror, you could write in the dust on the back of the unwashed car. Cryptic clues by rearranging household items into odd patterns. Quick possessions at the dinner table. “So how was your day, honey?” “It was great, I got an A on my math test, Jim asked me out (he’s the captain of the football team you know)…ugh. Uk. Hurkl [eyes flutter and roll back] **MOM, THERE IS SOMETHING YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE I CAN DEPART THIS WORLD. MORE LATER.** [eyes back to normal] Ahem. Please pass the butter.” ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/4 "2004-10-13T14:48:44Z")
Folks got Ouija boards, might as well use 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/5 "2004-10-13T14:48:53Z")
Start coffin’ a lot! 😛 > [@ralph124c](#): > > how do you contact living beings? Ahh, thats easy if you know their mobile number. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/6 "2004-10-13T14:59:44Z")
Telephone hang ups. Only on anniversary days. Yeah… That and pennies…on the ground…loads of pennies. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/7 "2004-10-13T15:14:29Z")
John Edwards springs to mind. :dubious: I’d bitchslap him on live TV. That would get some attention. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/8 "2004-10-13T15:21:47Z")
I’d leap out from behind the closet door and yell, “_Gotcha ya!_” ---
**Author:** ![Iceland\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/4bbf92/32.png) [@Iceland\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iceland_Blue)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/9 "2004-10-13T15:22:25Z")
You use the Internet. Here in the Spirit World it’s cool. Now Go AVENGE MY DEATH!!! The late Iceland\_Blue. It is an ex Iceland\_Blue. It has ceased to be. It is pushing up the daisies and joined the choir invisible. ---
**Author:** ![ElectricZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/58f4c7/32.png) [@ElectricZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElectricZ)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/10 "2004-10-13T15:34:25Z")
I’d mumble a lot so that mediums would have a hard time understanding me. “I’m getting an R name. Roger? Robert? Randolph? Rudy?” EZ ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/11 "2004-10-13T15:45:51Z")
Oh, I’d probably just screw with the tinfoil hat crowd - moving their stuff, creating cold spots, making odd noises. And stop whenever anyone rational came within half a mile. ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/12 "2004-10-13T15:56:48Z")
I have already promised my friends that they will experience a great deal of electrical abnormalities in their homes, should I pass on. The day of my friend Meghan’s funeral, we all went back to my house after the wake and tried to have as good a time as possible, which is what Meg would have wanted us to do. At one point, the microwave turned itself on, repeatedly, for about half an hour (we’re relatively certain she wanted to share the pizza). I’d do shit like that. 🙂 And the writing in the steam on the bathroom mirror. Just to freak them out, wondering if I was watching them in the shower and stuff. (Which I wasn’t, of course. Really.) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/13 "2004-10-13T16:02:33Z")
I’d hide in sparsely populated areas, wait until a drunken human came stumbling along, then kidnap him and examine his asshole with an anal probe. Oh wait, that’s if I was an alien. My bad. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/14 "2004-10-13T16:23:16Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > I’d leap out from behind the closet door and yell, “_Gotcha ya!_” Eve. I’m having chimichangas for lunch. Chimichangas do not, as a rule, make good monitor cover. You owe me. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/15 "2004-10-13T16:35:06Z")
I would frighten the living Dickens out of them by jumping up and hollering “Boo!,” exactly like my berderbied hero, [Spooky the Tuff Little Ghost](http://www.electrictiki.com/classic%20toons/spooky.html). ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/16 "2004-10-13T16:37:38Z")
I myself favor rattling metal chains, wearing a white sheet, and going “WooooOOOOooooOOOOooo!” ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/17 "2004-10-13T16:38:51Z")
It’s gotta be possssion with contemporary dance 😃 ---
**Author:** ![klintypooh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3da27b/32.png) [@klintypooh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/klintypooh)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/18 "2004-10-13T16:40:44Z")
And for those wondering, that’s possession but with no ‘E’ because drugs are bad m’kay? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/19 "2004-10-13T16:41:36Z")
Oh damn, I forgot the floating around. Yeah, I’d do the floating around too. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009/20 "2004-10-13T16:42:37Z")
And glowing! I’d definitely try to glow. Eerily, if at all possible. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-ghost-how-do-you-communicate-with-the-living/269009.md?page=2)