# You are a male who wants to produce as many children as possible before you die. What's your plan? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677 "2009-11-15T18:57:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/21 "2009-11-15T20:01:28Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, straight up man whore means you’re only having sex with one person once. Isn’t the likelihood of impregnating someone very low considering women are only fertile a few days out of the month? Polygamy seems like the best bet because you could monitor fertility (cervical mucous, body temperature, etc.) and only have sex with the women who are in heat. Yes, but unless you have a really charismatic personality where you could have your own devoted cult, for women to consensually agree to a polygamy lifestyle with a man they have to decide there’s something in it for them. If you are not a Mormon by birth will the “old school” Mormon compounds allow lateral entry of a non-related young man into their group to compete for the existing pool of women? This is tougher than it seemed at first glance. Unless you are extremely rich, sexually attractive, and/or charismatic there’s a lot of pushups involved in producing babies to term in any quantity. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/22 "2009-11-15T20:02:59Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Well, straight up man whore means you’re only having sex with one person once. Isn’t the likelihood of impregnating someone very low considering women are only fertile a few days out of the month? Polygamy seems like the best bet because you could monitor fertility (cervical mucous, body temperature, etc.) and only have sex with the women who are in heat. I believe there was a study that said that women that live together tend to have their menstrual cycles synchronize. So, to have the maximum amount of time to impregnate, he’s gonna have to keep multiple houses, separating his wives into groups. But, then again, maybe he would use the rest of the time to get more wives and keep up his money. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/23 "2009-11-15T20:04:06Z")
It’s possible to study psychology to the point where you can become an ace at manipulating people, including manipulating women into having your kids. It’s definitely something that can be worked towards and attained, rather than some kind of charisma that you’re born with. Charisma, by the way, is term with religious origins which means a gift from God. This is the wrong way to look at it. The skills that it takes to influence other people can be learned. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/24 "2009-11-15T20:05:35Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I believe there was a study that said that women that live together tend to have their menstrual cycles synchronize. So, to have the maximum amount of time to impregnate, he’s gonna have to keep multiple houses, separating his wives into groups. > > But, then again, maybe he would use the rest of the time to get more wives and keep up his money. Yeah…that did occur to me after I posted. As for your second paragraph, your thinking seems very much in line with Mr. Tony Montana’s. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/25 "2009-11-15T20:09:39Z")
> [@Argent\_Towers](#): > > It’s possible to study psychology to the point where you can become an ace at manipulating people, including manipulating women into having your kids. It’s definitely something that can be worked towards and attained, rather than some kind of charisma that you’re born with. Charisma, by the way, is term with religious origins which means a gift from God. This is the wrong way to look at it. The skills that it takes to influence other people can be learned. OK I’ll bite. How do you “learn” charisma? I always thought it was a “you got or you don’t” attribute. I certainly see people\* try \*to be charismatic, but they really can’t pull it off compared to someone with (what I perceive to be) genuine charisma. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/26 "2009-11-15T20:14:43Z")
> [@astro](#): > > OK I’ll bite. How do you “learn” charisma? I always thought it was a “you got or you don’t” attribute. I certainly see people\* try \*to be charismatic, but they really can’t pull it off compared to someone with (what I perceive to be) genuine charisma. You can learn to be charismatic like you can learn to change any other aspect of your personality. If you’re naturally disorganized, you have to put forth lots more effort and conscious thought into being organized. Same with charisma. It won’t be as convincing or efficient if you’re not a natural, but the end result will only be slightly less effective. And I was thinking about my earlier links. A 15y/o kid could have a pretty decent amount of success just seducing girls right then and there at 15. Become charming and just start seducing classmates in high school and early college, when girls (and people) are at their most ignorant, arrogant and irresponsible. All of course while still working towards something with more long-term financial gain. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/27 "2009-11-15T20:16:46Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Yes, but unless you have a really charismatic personality where you could have your own devoted cult, for women to consensually agree to a polygamy lifestyle with a man they have to decide there’s something in it for them. If you are not a Mormon by birth will the “old school” Mormon compounds allow lateral entry of a non-related young man into their group to compete for the existing pool of women? Absolutely not—In fact, they (the older male leaders of the Mormon offshoot sects) often kick out thier own sons and male descendants, especially nephews who may be tempted to start a rival dynasty. It’s all very similar to what an alpha lion would do with it’s harem. Polygamist “Mormons” (and yes, I realise that they are not technically part of the modern day Mormon church) are often pretty ruthless, and blood fueds and “sacred murder” is still occasionally practiced, all while the Utah legal authorities generally turn a blind eye… ---
**Author:** ![athelas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@athelas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/athelas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/28 "2009-11-15T20:17:07Z")
If you want to really be sure to have many kids (as opposed to a high-risk high-reward strategy), become a member of a conservative religious group. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/29 "2009-11-15T20:20:25Z")
I’m not sure that the birth control angle is as significant as folks are letting on. Remember, the urge for sex is ultimately a manifestation of the drive to reproduce. Probably many of the women who slept with, say, Wilt Chamberlain did so with the express intention of having a baby by him (you have to admit, he did have some pretty good genes). As for the fertility clinic angle, I think that replacing other sperm samples violates at least the spirit, if not the letter, of the “consensual only” requirement. But there’s nothing stopping you from being a legitimate sperm donor. Yeah, your samples may or may not be used, but it’s a pretty easy investment to make: Whenever you don’t have a more direct use for your semen, just head down to the clinic. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/30 "2009-11-15T20:22:18Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > You can learn to be charismatic like you can learn to change any other aspect of your personality. If you’re naturally disorganized, you have to put forth lots more effort and conscious thought into being organized. Same with charisma. It won’t be as convincing or efficient if you’re not a natural, but the end result will only be slightly less effective. > > And I was thinking about my earlier links. A 15y/o kid could have a pretty decent amount of success just seducing girls right then and there at 15. Become charming and just start seducing classmates in high school and early college, when girls (and people) are at their most ignorant, arrogant and irresponsible. > > All of course while still working towards something with more long-term financial gain. Racking up huge potential child support debts (and the legal sanctions involved) before you have the chance to get educated enough to acquire a high paying skill set and learn to become a master of seduction, seems counter productive. For the average Joe it looks like acquiring as much loot as possible might be the first thing to do. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/31 "2009-11-15T20:24:26Z")
Realistically, I think that sperm donation, possibly combined with fake identities to allow you to donate past limits imposed by many donation centers which cross-check with each other, might be a very viable option. Invest some time in the highest SAT scores, the most exclusive college admission you can obtain, a couple of good photos of you for the donor book, or other relatively simple measures of reproductive suitability used by people flipping through the sperm donor book. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/32 "2009-11-15T20:28:10Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Racking up huge potential child support debts (and the legal sanctions involved) before you have the chance to get educated enough to acquire a high paying skill set and learn to become a master of seduction, seems counter productive. For the average Joe it looks like acquiring as much loot as possible might be the first thing to do. You are being way too practical. Have you ever _talked_ to a teen parent? I’ve known several of them and most barely even pursue child support, let alone actually receive it. If the guy doesn’t stick around obviously. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/33 "2009-11-15T20:31:40Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I’m not sure that the birth control angle is as significant as folks are letting on. Remember, the urge for sex is ultimately a manifestation of the drive to reproduce. Probably many of the women who slept with, say, Wilt Chamberlain did so with the express intention of having a baby by him (you have to admit, he did have some pretty good genes). > . [Yet oddly/ironically he had no children.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Personal_life_of_Wilt_Chamberlain) ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/34 "2009-11-15T20:40:01Z")
See what I mean? I do not buy the argument that any of the women Chamberlain expertly seduced wanted to bear his child. Maybe, on some subconscious level, they did. That I can’t debate. But a subconscious decision to bear a child is overridden by a conscious decision to put on a condom. Even the most promiscuous celebrity is not going to have as many kids as someone with multiple wives whose _purpose_ it is to bear them kids. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/35 "2009-11-15T22:29:09Z")
Found a cult and get scores of female followers to bear your children? ---
**Author:** ![G.Pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@G.Pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Pie)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/36 "2009-11-15T22:35:25Z")
Is cloning an option? ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/37 "2009-11-15T22:35:55Z")
Start a cult, Target insecure, plain looking girls with good birthing hips. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/38 "2009-11-15T22:51:15Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > Start a cult, Target insecure, plain looking girls with good birthing hips. [There’s an idea.](http://www.zubeworld.com/crumbmuseum/nat111.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2009, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/39 "2009-11-15T23:19:39Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I think the best option would be to become a fertility doctor and substitute your sperm for the donor sperm in all of your IVF procedures, in addition to banging every available female you can find. > > IIRC, someone actually did this. Alternately, donate to every sperm bank you can. Find as many as possible, travel overseas eventually, donate as often as possible. No non-procreative sex; no masturbation unless you’re putting it into a donation cup. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677/40 "2009-11-16T01:53:33Z")
I think you people are way overthinking this. Clearly you don’t have enough exposure to trashy Australian current affairs programs, because every six months or so they do a story on some [deadbeat who has fathered xteen children to xteen different women](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REYaPbXq2UU) and isn’t paying a cent of child support to any of them. The guy is never rich, never successful, never even a rockstar. He is usually an uneducated, unemployed, unattractive bozo who hooks up with uneducated, unemployed, unattractive bozettes, sticks around long enough to get them pregnant once or twice and then moves on. Serial fathering, that’s the way to go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-a-male-who-wants-to-produce-as-many-children-as-possible-before-you-die-whats-your-plan/517677.md?page=3)