Are they obligated to get it for me? Then forget mammoth steaks – give me unicorn tartare. And none of this fake unicorn business: I want the rel thing.
Of course, I’d be perfectly willing to settle for the steamed liver of my state’s governor.
If it works like I think most states work – must be a value under $20, nothing too exotic, etc. – then I’ll take nine pounds of bananas.
Daniel
Appetizer: A Blooming Onion from the Outback Steakhouse with extra tangy ranchy sauce. Ice water to drink.
First Course: Gyros with real lamb meat, lots of humus, and a stack of oven warmed pitas. A nice cold bottle of Budweiser to drink.
Second Course: Double mushroom swiss burger. With extra mushrooms. Big meaty steak fries with loads of ketchup. Coca-Cola to wash it down.
Dessert: A big yellow cake with chocolate icing. But hidden inside is a bazooka…BOOOMMM!!! I’m free! I guess there is such a thing as a free lunch! Oh, and milk to drink.
Giant Panda steak.
Ok, I might not finish it but I sure would try…
French Onion Soup
Lobster Tail w/ lemon Butter
Eggs Benedict
Californi Roll (w/ real crab, not that fake krab crap)
Soft Shell Crab w/ Ponzu Sauce
Dessert: New York cheesecake
Beverage: Two bottles each of Newcastle and Coke
Kona Coffee to end the whole experience
Hell, the food I picked is so unhealthy that they might not even need to kill me, just wait a few days.
50 extra hot chicken wings from my old favorite hang out. Ice cold milk to wash it down.
A garden salad with oil and vinegar.
A meduim rare filet with mushrooms and fried onions.
KFC’s mashed potatos and gravy (crazy, isn’t it?).
A cup of vanilla ice cream topped with green creme de minte.
Cappucino.
Fry me now… I’m happy.
I wouldn’t eat for a few days before the execution so I could fit this all in:
French Onion Soup
Salad w/Blue Cheese Dressing
Prime Rib Au Jus
Filet Mignon w/Bernaise Sause
Baked Potato w/sour cream, chives, butter, cheese
Broccoli
Side of Lasagna
Tony Roma’s Baby Back Ribs
Onion Rings
Tiramisu
Cappucino
[Rincewind]
“Something that takes a long time to prepare?”
[/Rincewind] 
As for me, I’ll have a 32-ounce Texas steak smothered in gravy, rice (white or pilaf), a bown of clam chowder made with real cream, and a slice of chocolate fudge cake for dessert. All washed down with a bottomless glass of Coke.
(Of course, my crime would probably be "defying Herr Bush’s totalitarian rule, but that’s a different thread… 
)
Grilled Cheese Sandwich, Velveeta on Wonder Bread (qty. 2)
Big heaping bowl of hot Campbell’s Tomato Soup (with saltines)
Big heaping bowl of Cheesy Maccaroni
Two full-sized Cinnabons
All-I-Can-Drink Milk, whole
The most interesting story I’ve ever heard about a last meal involved a symphony conductor who, in a fit of rage, threw his baton at a lousy second-chair violinist, impaling her through the throat and killing her. He was tried and convicted for murder and sentenced to the electric chair.
For his final meal, he requested nine pounds of bananas, and he ate them all. Then the guards came for him, hooked him up to the electric chair, and threw the switch.
Nothing happened. They checked all the connections, jiggled the switch, called in an electrician – nothing doing. The murderer just sat there calmly.
According to the laws of the state, the attempt at execution constituted punishment for his crime, and he was set free. And before too long, he’d gotten a job at a smaller orchestra. After a couple of weeks of working with them, a tuba player came in drunk, and this so angered the man that he grabbed the tuba and slammed it down on the player’s head, killing him.
Once more he was tried and sentenced to the electric chair. Once more he requested nine pounds of bananas for his final meal and ate them all. Once more they led him to the chair, strapped him in, and threw the switch.
And once more, despite their best efforts, nothing happened: he just sat there smiling calmly until they unstrapped him and told him he was free to go.
Destiny will not be denied: he’d gotten a job conducting an amateur swing band within the month, and it was only a matter of time before the bassist started flirting with the drummer, and when the conductor saw this, he flew into a fit of rage, snatched the drummer’s sticks from his hands, and beat the bassist to death.
Again, murder conviction. Sentenced to the chair again. Another final meal of nine pounds of bananas, and once more he was strapped into the chair.
After the executioner tried everything he could think of to set the murderer to fry – after spending hours in vain at this task – he gave up. As he unstrapped the murderer, he asked, “So what is it about the bananas that keeps protecting you?”
“The bananas? Oh, they have nothing to do with it,” the man answered. “I’m just a lousy conductor.”
Daniel
Entree
Sirloin Steak - 6 to 8 oz. with a bottle of A1 Steak Sauce.
Fried Butterfly Shrimp - a Dozen with plenty of Cocktail Sauce.
Baked Potatoe with plenty of Butter.
Ceasar Salad - no anchovies and plenty of croutons and dressing.
Garlic Bread - 2 pieces, the inner portions not the heal.
Hush Puppies
Real Sweetened Ice Tea and no lemon, and not the fake kind either.
2 Desserts
Small Strawberry Shortcake with Real Whipped Cream and small piece of Coconut Cake with Vanilla Bean Ice Cream.
Tall Glass of Cold Skim Milk.
That’s what I crave right now.
fat joint, smoke half.
Krispy Cream doughnut, with cream filling, hot.
hot flour tortilla with lots of butter and honey to dip it in
slice sharp cheddar cheese with peanut butter on it.
mug of hot chocolate with whip cream & Kaluah
glass of unsweetened iced tea with lots of lemon.
steak, medium rare with avacado and sour cream.
hot fudge chocolate chip milk shake from Charlie Brown’s.
finish off fat joint,
1 camel cig.
good to go.
Ahh, I have it! Nitroglycerin, and lots of it.
Thanks for playing.
I’d like a nice tall glass of that Fountain of Eternal Life water, if you don’t mind.
There is one answer: Thanksgiving Dinner.
Chili
Stew
Beer
Chocolate
Tons of sour cream
corn on the cob
Coca Cola
pickles
I’m just thinking of some very liquidy and colorful stuff, and things that don’t mix well. If it’s gonna be unpleasant for me, it’s darn well gonna be unpleasant for them, too.
I guess this would be THE time for comfort food, so: Mom’s meatloaf, mashed potatoes, and my secret recipe for creamed peas. And I’ll take the rest of that cheesecake that [b[Idle Thoughts** left. Did I forget to add some really, really, really good iced tea? OK now, throw the switch, spring the trapdoor, fire away, drop the pellets, release the tiger, I’m ready to go.
About five or six dozen raw oysters from Appalachicola, Florida. Yes, I can tell whether or not they’re from Appalach. I would like to be able to gorge myself on them just once without worrying about red tide or something. Also, like 3 lobster tails and a quart of sauteed mushrooms. (I don’t think I’d be able to eat all of it in half an hour, but I’d like to see how far I’d get.) And Southern iced tea.
A prophallactic antidtode for the poison?
No? Then beans, corn, and nuts. When I die and my bowels evacuate, I’m going to make the fuckers work!
I’m surprised nobody’s requested this yet:
Fugu.
I mean, come on- so what if the chef doesn’t prepare it just right?
Four whole fried chickens. And a Coke.
And some dry white toast.