# You are driving down a country road **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002 "2013-05-10T16:12:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/1 "2013-05-10T16:12:02Z")
You are driving down a country road, out in the middle of nowhere. You have an important appointment, and a long way to drive. You need a drink, so you pull into the only building you have seen in twenty miles, a gas station/ general store / five and dime that has see much better days, if the faded 1976 “Celebrate the Bicentenial” banner is any indication. You walk in to a dim and dusty interior, crowded with all sorts of junk, and reach into the cooler to pull out a can of… OK soda? You try again and get …OrBitz? Confused, you look around. As your eyes adjust to the gloom, you see a lawn darts game with the original steel tips. The rack next to the cash register holds Star Wars Cards and first edition Magic the Gathering Cards. A copy of Time magazine on the top of a pile is from 1963. You have a few minutes to spare. What do you look for? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/2 "2013-05-10T16:18:07Z")
The door – lest Cletus the mutant cannibal chases me down and turns me into an appetizer. ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/3 "2013-05-10T16:29:28Z")
Comic books and baseball cards. Early retirement, here I come. ---
**Author:** ![cougar58](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@cougar58](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cougar58)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/4 "2013-05-10T16:35:26Z")
A phone. Call the FBI to tell them why JFK should not visit Dallas in an open motorcade in November, tipping them off about Lee Harvey Oswalds intentions. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/5 "2013-05-10T17:25:53Z")
As many Wacky Packs as they have. And Kung Fu packs. The gum couldn’t have gotten any worse, right? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Ecks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bcef8e/32.png) [@Johnny\_Ecks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Ecks)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/6 "2013-05-10T17:31:07Z")
Just to clarify, the idea is that the place is so remote and backwards that the place is a time capsule, not that you have gone back in time. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/7 "2013-05-10T17:33:32Z")
> [@Johnny\_Ecks](#): > > … if the faded 1976 “Celebrate the Bicentenial” banner is any indication. … A copy of Time magazine on the top of a pile is from 1963. > [@cougar58](#): > > A phone. > > Call the FBI to tell them why JFK should not visit Dallas in an open motorcade in November, tipping them off about Lee Harvey Oswalds intentions. I think the date is now, but the store contains old stuff. I think. I have no idea. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/8 "2013-05-10T17:38:50Z")
> [@cougar58](#): > > A phone. > > Call the FBI to tell them why JFK should not visit Dallas in an open motorcade in November, tipping them off about Lee Harvey Oswalds intentions. Yes, you can write their number down on the Magic the Gathering cards, first released 30 years after the assassination. I’d probably look at most everything to see if there’s something quirky that might be for sale. I love the shows where they dig through old barns or farms, abandoned warehouses, whatever trying to find something salvageable. Last time I found a place like that I made an offer on the lady’s car, an old and very low mile GTO. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/9 "2013-05-10T17:42:10Z")
Baseball cards. Specifically, Pete Rose rookie card ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/10 "2013-05-10T17:45:26Z")
I’m feeling less sanguine about the soda. On the evidence, stock here turns over kinda slowly. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/11 "2013-05-10T17:47:12Z")
A phone, so I can call the police and inform them about the mob front I’ve just stumbled into. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/12 "2013-05-10T17:49:12Z")
Yeah, baseball cards and quarters. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/13 "2013-05-10T18:51:27Z")
I’d call my friend and see what vintage soda bottles he needed for his collection. I’d probably also play the old black and white arcade games they probably have in the corner. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/14 "2013-05-10T19:15:39Z")
A water fountain and thermos or some form of traveling container? ---
**Author:** ![LMarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c68b51/32.png) [@LMarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LMarie)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/15 "2013-05-10T19:49:45Z")
The bodies. ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/16 "2013-05-10T19:56:41Z")
[Acrylic blankets with satin binding](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=600712). Not sure that’s the kind of thing they’d have in this store, but if they do, I’d buy up all they have and then make a killing selling them to people in that thread. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/17 "2013-05-10T20:08:42Z")
VW parts, still in the box. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/18 "2013-05-10T20:23:20Z")
All the candy and cookies I used to love and can’t find any more. And space food sticks. Definitely space food sticks. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/19 "2013-05-10T22:07:25Z")
I’d still just want a decent soda. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2013, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002/20 "2013-05-10T23:06:11Z")
I’m having them Jarts! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-driving-down-a-country-road/658002.md?page=2)