# You are Man vs Food **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259 "2010-11-11T01:43:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/1 "2010-11-11T01:43:32Z")
And you’re doing a special, live food challenge supporting an orphanage and you’re 3/4 of the way through a 10 pound hamburger sitting on top of a mound of fries. The greasy, heavy hamburger was cut in quarters and you have only one quarter left, and all the greasy fries under it. You lift that last quarter, sweat pouring out of your pores from your ordeal. You bring the now room temperature burger to your mouth and tiredly bite into it. Your teeth bite down onto something alien to a hamburger. Your hand goes to your mouth and you pull out a band aide, the adhesive strips folded unevenly onto themselves and showing black, curly pubic hair. The portion of bandage visible shows dark brown blood and something else now dried, like puss. Having used your tongue to push the bandage to your lips for removal, your taste buds processed an unknown taste that would never be associated with a hamburger; iron-like, and weirdly tangy/sweet. Do you turn your head fast and try to puke off camera? Do you just let loose and evacuate the 8+ pounds of greasy glop in your gut? Do you flick the bandage aside in order to finish the food challenge? Whatever the result, the video would be a YouTube sensation for at least a week. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/2 "2010-11-11T04:21:25Z")
Let loose with all my might with the camera rolling. You know that out of the three choices, that one would be viewed the most. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/3 "2010-11-11T04:26:52Z")
Glad it’s been several hours since I ate anything. Can you put a trigger warning on this? It’s disgusting and potentially offensive. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/4 "2010-11-11T04:46:36Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Glad it’s been several hours since I ate anything. > > Can you put a trigger warning on this? It’s disgusting and potentially offensive. Oh, Jesus Christ. Are you really serious? ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/5 "2010-11-11T16:11:22Z")
You just made me hate food. Also, I would vomit with cameras rolling while repeatedly mentioning the name of the establishment and showing the band aid. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/6 "2010-11-11T16:26:01Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Glad it’s been several hours since I ate anything. > > Can you put a trigger warning on this? It’s disgusting and potentially offensive. Disgusting, maybe. But _offensive_? You made me :rolleyes: so big I forgot what the OP was about. Either way … won’t somebody please think of the orphans? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/7 "2010-11-11T17:54:46Z")
Shrug, keep eating, keep the bandaid and make some money from the law suit afterward. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/8 "2010-11-11T18:00:59Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > Shrug, keep eating, keep the bandaid and make some money from the law suit afterward. This is also what I would do. It’s just a bandaid. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/9 "2010-11-11T18:20:52Z")
I think that was one of the most nauseating OPs I’ve ever read. ---
**Author:** ![sparky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/77aa72/32.png) [@sparky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sparky_1)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/10 "2010-11-11T18:30:41Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I think that was one of the most nauseating OPs I’ve ever read. Sorry ☹ ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/11 "2010-11-11T18:41:43Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > Sorry ☹ Don’t be. It’s hilarious, especially at the amount of people it’s offending. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/12 "2010-11-11T19:54:05Z")
> [@sparky\_1](#): > > Sorry ☹ Don’t be! It was quite well written, and really drew me in. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/13 "2010-11-11T22:25:34Z")
You should come up with 364 more of these. Then you could become a millionaire by creating a one-a-day type calendar for dieters. Heck, one-a-week might work if you can keep making them as disgusting as that one. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2010, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/14 "2010-11-11T22:40:19Z")
It’s cool to be offensive! 😃 _thumbs up_ P.S. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/15 "2010-11-12T02:00:31Z")
Stop eating. Sue the restraunt. Give winnings to the orphanage. Make more money from increased interest and exposure due to scandal. Die of heart attack for such a stupid career. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/16 "2010-11-12T02:17:33Z")
> [@nikonikosuru](#): > > Let loose with all my might with the camera rolling. [ashamed I know] The professional gluttons call that a reversal [/ashamed] ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/17 "2010-11-12T02:21:45Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > It’s cool to be offensive! 😃 _thumbs up_ > > P.S. :rolleyes: It’s even cooler to get offended by things! 😃 _thumbs up_ P.S. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/18 "2010-11-12T04:45:39Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > It’s even cooler to get offended by things! 😃 _thumbs up_ > > P.S. :rolleyes: This. Hey all, this original post offends me in some type of way so let me complain and express on how you should’ve been more considerate to my feelings by consulting me first because I’m a super special snowflake! :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/19 "2010-11-12T07:53:34Z")
You forgot the option of showing the band-aid to the camera, putting it back in your mouth and swallowing it. ---
**Author:** ![mittu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@mittu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mittu)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2010, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259/20 "2010-11-12T08:45:29Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > This is also what I would do. It’s just a bandaid. The trouble is it isn’t _just_ a bandaid, it’s a bandaid covered in blood and puss and sweat. I don’t think there is really an option for me here, I would vomit all over everyone and eveything within throwing distance. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-man-vs-food/560259.md?page=2)