# You are not freaking E.E. Cummings. English usage exists for a REASON, damn it! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 16, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899 "2008-09-16T21:17:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/101 "2008-09-19T23:50:03Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > miller miller miller > > to > > two > > AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST > > too So is that a “Yes” on the tax protestor thing? ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2008, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/102 "2008-09-19T23:51:49Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > miller miller miller > > to > > two > > AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST > > too You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. ---
**Author:** ![rayh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@rayh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayh)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/103 "2008-09-20T00:00:27Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > miller miller miller > > to > > two > > AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST > > too Palatr. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/104 "2008-09-20T00:25:10Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > So is that a “Yes” on the tax protestor thing? [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4756508&postcount=12](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4756508&postcount=12) Make of that what you will. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/105 "2008-09-20T00:43:47Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4756508&postcount=12](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4756508&postcount=12) > > Make of that what you will. I make of it that he’s an idiot. This thread merely serves as corroborating evidence. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/106 "2008-09-20T02:17:17Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > please define “coherent” manner > > if there are rules about capitalization, i will follow those rules. > > show me where it says i have to capitalize and i will do it > > (same with income tax, show me where i have to pay it and i will) Seriously, who lurks for FIVE years carrying a grudge about a thread we’d all long forgotten only to come back seemingly solely for the purpose of committing suicide by mod? Are we going to get a visit from The Grapist soon too? 'Cause that would at least be fun nostalgia. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/107 "2008-09-20T02:23:08Z")
> [@Zakalwe](#): > > Seriously, who lurks for FIVE years carrying a grudge about a thread we’d all long forgotten only to come back seemingly solely for the purpose of committing suicide by mod? > Are we going to get a visit from The Grapist soon too? 'Cause that would at least be fun nostalgia. if you would read what i wrote, i said i wouldnt pay to be lectured about capitalization but now that it is free…and i open a thread and it is about the same bullshit as five years ago and the same dumbass comments about being respected and laughed at and piled on oh no…the townsfolks are after the monster! seriously…i am back and i will not capitalize ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/108 "2008-09-20T02:33:33Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > please define “coherent” manner > > if there are rules about capitalization, i will follow those rules. You’re familiar with standard English, yes? You’re really only hurting yourself here. This isn’t a chat room so speed isn’t an issue and if your shift key is broken find yourself ten bucks for a new keyboard. You’re just making yourself look childish and petulant. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/109 "2008-09-20T03:25:07Z")
Those of you who honestly think he’s a troll are just as guilty for feeding the trolls. Those of you who honestly think he’s “hurting himself” by not capitalizing letters are acting just as childish, and terribly elitist to boot. (Edit) I should add: If not using capital letters is incoherent to you, good luck reading anything for the rest of your life. Our language is evolving; the way people write is changing. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/110 "2008-09-20T03:30:41Z")
What about those of us who are just laughing at him because he’s deeply childish and startlingly dumb? ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/111 "2008-09-20T03:35:24Z")
I don’t have a dog in this fight but it is worth mentioning that mhendo hasn’t touched his shift key in years and nobody has freaked out about it. (not sayin’ he should, just sayin’) ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/112 "2008-09-20T03:43:17Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > What about those of us who are just laughing at him because he’s deeply childish and startlingly dumb? I don’t know. Do you need me to tell you how to feel about yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/113 "2008-09-20T03:52:29Z")
> [@askeptic](#): > > I don’t have a dog in this fight but it is worth mentioning that mhendo hasn’t touched his shift key in years and nobody has freaked out about it. (not sayin’ he should, just sayin’) [O Rly?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10218869&postcount=10) ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/114 "2008-09-20T04:08:13Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > [O Rly?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10218869&postcount=10) rly. I guess it is just the “i” in the middle of sentences that he doesn’t bother to shift for. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/115 "2008-09-20T06:22:31Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I don’t know. Do you need me to tell you how to feel about yourself? Actually, I was asking how _you_ feel about me. Because your validation is so important to me. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/116 "2008-09-20T15:05:48Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > What about those of us who are just laughing at him because he’s deeply childish and startlingly dumb? CHILDISH errr i mean childish?..guilty! dumb? not compared to you ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/117 "2008-09-20T16:46:50Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > seriously…i am back and i will not capitalize And we will continue to think of you as a whiny little git who should go back to your bridge and stay there. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/118 "2008-09-20T17:56:17Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > So as an _added bonus_, you’ve given us _your personal opinion_? 😉 Sure. My personal opinions are distinct from my professional ones. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/119 "2008-09-20T18:10:43Z")
> [@jayn\_newell](#): > > you’re familiar with standard english, yes? > > You’re really only hurting yourself here. This isn’t a chat room so speed isn’t an issue and if your shift key is broken find yourself ten bucks for a new keyboard. You’re just making yourself look childish and petulant. then just ignore me…like you would a child ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2008, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899/120 "2008-09-20T18:13:00Z")
> [@djf750](#): > > ok i fixed the shift key > > oh shit now it is stuck in the on position > > damn That would have been more amusing had you succeeded in typing in all caps. But alas, as Walpole taught us, life is a comedy to those who think and a tragedy to those who feel, and thus your attempts at humor are defeated by your microcephaly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-freaking-e-e-cummings-english-usage-exists-for-a-reason-damn-it/463899.md?page=7)