# "You are not the boss of me." **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 14, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918 "2011-11-14T18:04:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/1 "2011-11-14T18:04:47Z")
The thread title is a meme-type phrase repeated in an inordinate number of fictional works, generally by a ten or tween, occasionally a young adult, either seriously or playfully or ironically, in place of the more natural “You aren’t/you’re not my boss.” I’m presuming it’s a quote/callback/reference to the expression in a semi-famous/“cultural literacy” recognized work that I happen never to have encountered. Would anyone be able to tie down the origin of the usage? Note to Mods.: Even I can see that this is a natural fit for Cafe SXociety. I’m starting it in GQ nonetheless because (a) it may elicit answers from a few knowledgeable GQ denizens who don’t peruse CS; and (b) I really want to tap into **samclem** ’s superb databse. Please leave it in GQ until **sam** has had a chance to check it out; feel free to move it thereafter if you see it as a better fit for CS (as I presume you’re likely to). Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/2 "2011-11-14T18:11:42Z")
Certainly popularized by They Might be Giants’s “Boss of Me,” which was the theme song for **Malcolm in the Middle** and won a Grammy in 2002. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/3 "2011-11-14T18:19:04Z")
I remember my younger brother screaming it at me when he was six or seven, long before _Malcolm in the Middle_ came out. As far as I know, he hadn’t heard it anywhere— it was just the best way he knew how to phrase the idea with his not-fully-developed sense of grammar. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/4 "2011-11-14T18:36:45Z")
Couple of early cites from Google ngram viewer [South by West](http://books.google.com/books?id=J9dCAAAAIAAJ&q=%22the+boss+of+me%22&dq=%22the+boss+of+me%22&hl=en&ei=Rl7BTo4Vx6yxAtjk9eQE&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=6&ved=0CEgQ6AEwBQ) - 1874 [The Church](http://books.google.com/books?id=Di4EAAAAQAAJ&q=%22the+boss+of+me%22&dq=%22the+boss+of+me%22&hl=en&ei=Rl7BTo4Vx6yxAtjk9eQE&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=5&ved=0CEUQ6AEwBA) - 1883 [London Society](http://books.google.com/books?id=RCZKAAAAMAAJ&q=%22the+boss+of+me%22&dq=%22the+boss+of+me%22&hl=en&ei=Rl7BTo4Vx6yxAtjk9eQE&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=4&ved=0CEAQ6AEwAw) - 1889 There is a sharp increase in occurrences of this phrase starting in the mid-1970’s, from where it has climbed steadily ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/5 "2011-11-14T18:36:52Z")
This was a commonly heard playground protest decades ago in my youth. ETA: i.e, the 70’s, which corresponds with the previous poster’s information. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/6 "2011-11-14T18:52:34Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > in place of the more natural “You aren’t/you’re not my boss.” I don’t think a child’s phrase being unnatural means it must be _from_ something. Children’s speech is usually littered with awkward, unnatural phrases like “He hitted me.” or “There’s seven sheeps in the outside.” “The boss of me” doesn’t sound so strange when you consider that kids might hear similar phrases like “the boss of the school” or “the boss of the playground.” ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/7 "2011-11-14T20:19:52Z")
My sister used this phrase when she was small, and I don’t recall it deriving from any fictional source. I think it may simply be a cmmon construction for a child to come up with in English, in much the way Chessic suggests. A 5-year-old who has learned the words and basic format of English, but not the nuances, might simply put this together naturally. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/8 "2011-11-14T20:48:57Z")
It was a common playground retort when I was in elementary school back in the 50’s. ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/9 "2011-11-14T21:22:07Z")
I am fairly certain that this was used as a come back line in a 40s-50s era Looney Tunes cartoon and I suspect that they were referencing a well known older phrase themselves. ---
**Author:** ![MikeS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MikeS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeS)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/10 "2011-11-14T21:52:55Z")
[From 1883:](http://books.google.com/books?id=Di4EAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA70&dq=boss-of-me#v=onepage&q=boss-of-me&f=false) > [@](#): > > His sister was going to put her arms around him, but he whirled, and facing her with a very angry face, snapped, “Let me alone; **you are not the boss of me now** , I tell you, and I’m going to do as I please.” I’d like to claim credit for this, but I actually found it linked in [this Language Log article](http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=977) from 2009. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/11 "2011-11-14T21:55:21Z")
> [@MikeS](#): > > [From 1883:](http://books.google.com/books?id=Di4EAAAAQAAJ&pg=PA70&dq=boss-of-me#v=onepage&q=boss-of-me&f=false) > I’d like to claim credit for this, but I actually found it linked in [this Language Log article](http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=977) from 2009. Also post #4 of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-not-the-boss-of-me/602918/12 "2011-11-14T22:13:50Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I don’t think a child’s phrase being unnatural means it must be _from_ something. Children’s speech is usually littered with awkward, unnatural phrases like “He hitted me.” or “There’s seven sheeps in the outside.” I’m not sure I’d call “He hitted me” or “there’s seven sheeps …” awkward. They are, rather, consistent application of grammatical rules made by someone who doesn’t know the exceptions yet. “Hit” is in the minority of English verbs that do not change inflection in the past tense, just as “sheep” is in the minority of nouns whose singular and plural forms are identical. Kids aren’t being illogical when they use the variants you suggest.