# You are present to witness the downfall of civilization. What's your witty one-liner? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 15, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213 "2010-12-15T06:02:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/1 "2010-12-15T06:02:40Z")
Civilization as we know it has come to a wretched, chaotic end however you prefer to imagine it. You happen to be there to witness it and you have time to make one last glib remark. What’s your line? ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/2 "2010-12-15T06:20:43Z")
“I knew I picked the wrong day to stop smoking.” What? You wanted an _original_ one-liner? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/3 "2010-12-15T06:21:26Z")
“Dang! I forgot to send in my insurance premium!” ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/4 "2010-12-15T06:23:12Z")
“That’s GOTTA hurt!” ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/5 "2010-12-15T06:24:10Z")
I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords ---
**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/6 "2010-12-15T06:42:29Z")
And there was light. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/7 "2010-12-15T06:46:18Z")
> [@firstname](#): > > I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords I’m more of a “Fill your hand, you bug eyed sonuvabitches!” kinda guy. So you prolly don’t wanna be standing near me. ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/8 "2010-12-15T06:47:58Z")
“I for one welcome our feline/lagamorph/equine/pttastine overlords…” ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/9 "2010-12-15T06:53:42Z")
> [@BaneSidhe](#): > > “I for one welcome our feline/lagamorph/equine/pttastine overlords…” I am also a “Fill your hand, you feline/lagamorph/equine/pttastine sonuvabitches!” kinda guy. That whole overlord thing just doesn’t work for me. Unless, of course, I am the Overlord. That would be groovy. ---
**Author:** ![Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Uosdwis\_R.Dewoh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uosdwis_R.Dewoh)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/10 "2010-12-15T07:00:12Z")
At least we’ll always have Par- D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/11 "2010-12-15T07:10:16Z")
“I think I might have left the oven on by mistake.” or “Last one to die turns off the lights.” ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/12 "2010-12-15T07:17:15Z")
I picked the wrong day to stop sniffing glue. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/13 "2010-12-15T07:42:17Z")
I think I speak for everyone, when I say **"OH SHI-"** ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/14 "2010-12-15T08:58:53Z")
Since it’s not the end of the earth, just the downfall of civilization: “The secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.” Or maybe, “If you guys plant and harvest and protect the grain, I’ll brew up some beer.” Or, “We’re about to see some very motivated recycling programs.” ---
**Author:** ![E72521](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dbc845/32.png) [@E72521](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E72521)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/15 "2010-12-15T09:26:21Z")
“Shucks, electing a camel-toed former half-term Governor as leader of the free world was a great idea…” ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/16 "2010-12-15T10:24:06Z")
Eh, whatever it is, it’ll involve sunglasses and The Who. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/17 "2010-12-15T11:50:37Z")
Oops- ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/18 "2010-12-15T12:10:37Z")
“Well, that didn’t go quite the way I expected.” ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/19 "2010-12-15T12:12:57Z")
“Well… there goes the neighborhood.” ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/20 "2010-12-15T12:23:24Z")
“At least I don’t have to worry about that library book.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213.md?page=2)