# You are present to witness the downfall of civilization. What's your witty one-liner? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 15, 2010, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213 "2010-12-15T06:02:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/41 "2010-12-15T16:00:39Z")
42 ---
**Author:** ![kferr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@kferr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kferr)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/42 "2010-12-15T16:02:09Z")
“Oops, I did it again” ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/43 "2010-12-15T16:03:59Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > _whimper_ BANG! ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/44 "2010-12-15T16:05:47Z")
“Who farted?” ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/45 "2010-12-15T16:28:01Z")
“Waiter, the check please!” ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/46 "2010-12-15T16:45:02Z")
Vidi, Vene, Vici ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/47 "2010-12-15T16:47:24Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The panel illustrating this has the stuffed alligator looking at a skeleton that has managed to crawl toward, but not reach, some goal. Its comment: > > “Nice Try!” And my choice would be The Winslow’s comment IRT the heat-death of the universe: “Hey! Who turned out the lights..?” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/48 "2010-12-15T17:05:44Z")
“Hold my beer and watch this!” ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/49 "2010-12-15T17:32:50Z")
“Penis” ---
**Author:** ![Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myron_Van_Horowitzski)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/50 "2010-12-15T17:37:00Z")
“… no size restrictions, and SCREW the limit!” ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/51 "2010-12-15T17:41:40Z")
I’d fart. Really, what better way to send out all of civilization than a nice _poot!_ Plus, if I shit myself trying too hard, no one’s around to witness my humiliation. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/52 "2010-12-15T17:47:44Z")
“Heh. I still owe the IRS _millions_.” “I told you so!” “I know it’s been awhile since I called, Mom, but…” “Oh, well. Tomorrow is another… d’oh!” “Um… could I call you back?” “What the hell, Supersize me!” “C’mon, I saw this coming _years_ ago.” “I guess _Ghostbusters_ was a documentary, after all.” “At least the latest round of Middle East peace talks won’t fail like all the others.” “No, really, I _don’t_ want the extended warranty.” ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/53 "2010-12-15T17:49:43Z")
“Khaaaaaaaaaan!” ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/54 "2010-12-15T17:51:09Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > “Khaaaaaaaaaan!” Yog, I hate you and you know why. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/55 "2010-12-15T17:58:05Z")
> [@Myron\_Van\_Horowitzski](#): > > “… no size restrictions, and SCREW the limit!” Ah, I knew someone would beat me to the Farside quote! ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/56 "2010-12-15T18:28:54Z")
Goddamn Bush. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/57 "2010-12-15T18:43:00Z")
“Maybe we should have listened when they warned us about gay marriage.” ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/58 "2010-12-15T19:03:50Z")
I told you he was from Kenya. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/59 "2010-12-15T19:14:44Z")
Smile, you’re on Candid Camera. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213/60 "2010-12-15T19:21:41Z")
I should have picked the under. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-present-to-witness-the-downfall-of-civilization-whats-your-witty-one-liner/564213.md?page=4)