# "You Are Tracking The Footsteps Of Two Young Hobbits" **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 10, 2003, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827 "2003-09-10T19:39:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/21 "2003-09-11T03:03:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > \*\*I remember playing it in 1986… \*\* Oh, _really_ Grasshopper? 😃 ::chuckling:: (Slap-on- the-shoulder-stuff too, okay? Q ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/22 "2003-09-11T03:12:22Z")
BWhaaahahahahaaa!!! **GMRyujin** you must have played a lot of text adventure games! That truly captures the spirit of frustration I always had playing them. **Quasimodem** , when playing text based computer games, one could often get stuck in a spot and have no idea what magic word the program wanted you to input to solve the puzzle at hand. You’d try all the standard commands, and the program wouldn’t like any of them (Jump - You can’t jump here. Open - There is nothing to open, etc.) So, many folks would resort to obscenities, which the computer would just spit back at you. It assumed that F\*\*k was a noun that you were trying to do something with that the program didn’t recognize. ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/23 "2003-09-11T03:20:11Z")
Not to go back on topic or anything (ZORK RULES! Happy?), but… > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BuckleberryFerry \* > \*\*::taps nose:: You got it. Fooling us into thinking they were gonna be taken to Saruman. \*\* Yes, I got the same thing from the movie, and I thought it was really quite well done. Which makes it even _more_ mystifying to me why they chose to spoil the fact that Gandalf returns in the bloody trailers leading up to the release of _Two Towers_. It was very well done, but why give the surprise away before the audience has even had a chance to see the film? There are _plenty_ of people who didn’t know that was coming… Sorry, little mini-rant. I loved the movie, but I was annoyed by the fact that they gave that bit away in the trailer. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/24 "2003-09-11T03:42:28Z")
friggin’ hamsters ate my first attempt to continue the hijack I remember playing one of those text adventure games; I can’t remember the name but I’m certain it was not Zork. Anyway, at some point early in the game you would find an axe, and shortly after that you would be attacked by a dwarf. Throwing the axe at the dwarf killed it (and IIRC got you something you needed later in the game). If you did not throw the axe at the dwarf then he killed you; if you tried to run away the dwarf kept following you and attacking until you stopped moving, at which point he killed you. Once when I did not have the axe when the dwarf attacked I got sufficiently aggravated to type: \>F\*\*k the dwarf The program responded: \>I don’t see any dwarf here And sure enough, that was the last I saw of the dwarf for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/25 "2003-09-11T08:12:39Z")
[hijack mode=continue] Sound like “Adventure”, the original and best, set in Colossal Cave. The first time a dwarf turned up, he threw an axe that missed, cursed, and ran away. You picked up the axe and in future when a dwarf turned up, he would throw a sharp nasty knife at you. The axe was your means of retaliation. The best “cursing and swearing” routine I heard of went something like this (can’t remember the game). - \>F\*ck! The scene fades around you. You reappear in a small white cell with no windows or doors. Inside the cell is a washstand, a bowl of water, a scrubbing brush and a bar of green soap. You know what to do. \* And in order to resume the game you had to… I’m sure you can figure it out. [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/26 "2003-09-11T14:11:05Z")
\>F **K YOU YOU F** KING F\*\*K! Such language from a supposed adventurer. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/27 "2003-09-11T14:26:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Quasimodem \* > \*\*All right, you little buggers! 😃 > > Quasi \*\* Pervy hobbit fancier… ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/28 "2003-09-11T14:41:27Z")
**Malacandra** - yes, that was it. I don’t think I ever got completely through the game, since I only got to play it at SF cons. Hadn’t thought about it in years until I started reading this thread. Somewhere in my software library I have an old set of Zork, but I never found Adventure. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/29 "2003-09-11T16:05:45Z")
Y’all have remined me of a favorite Unix easter egg – the “flog” command. You could type “flog xxx #” on the command line and the console would print out “xxx is flogged” # times. But if you typed “flog shoggoth” you would get the message “He who floggeth a shoggoth loggeth off!” and the system would log you off. Hee hee … geek humor. ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/30 "2003-09-11T17:29:31Z")
To complete the hijack, I direct your attention to this thread, for those remembering the text adventury goodness. [Interactive Fiction and You: A Newbie’s Guide](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2889374) IF is still alive and kickin’. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/31 "2003-09-11T17:59:28Z")
I was eaten to death by chiggers for years before ever discovering what a chigger actually was. I had thought it was a tiger with wings. Honest. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/32 "2003-09-11T18:11:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GargoyleWB \* > \*\*I was eaten to death by chiggers for years before ever discovering what a chigger actually was. I had thought it was a tiger with wings. Honest. \*\* Ooh, I remember that one. You had to rub the very smelly mud on yourself. What game was that? ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/33 "2003-09-11T18:12:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrotherCadfael \* > \*\*Pervy hobbit fancier… \*\* No, no! Actually I fancy the **Mysterious Chicken** on _Weebl and Bob_! 😃 Q ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/34 "2003-09-11T18:18:08Z")
**BoringDad** : Thanks very much for the explanation! I really didn’t _know_ the derivation, and that is what threw me… Thanks Q ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/35 "2003-09-11T19:09:28Z")
> [@](#): > > from _Malacandra_ > The scene fades around you. You reappear in a small white cell with no windows or doors. Inside the cell is a washstand, a bowl of water, a scrubbing brush and a bar of green soap. You know what to do. Now that’s funny! Never played that one… And **Quasi** , the Hitchhiker’s Guide game mentioned here is one of the old Infocom adventure games (same folks who made Zork). Long ago, I bought a box set of 20 of those Infocom games, for the Mac. (4 or 5 Zorks, Hitchhikers was in there, several mystery games, several sci fi, a horror or two). Still have yet to go through and solve them all. I think I remember the original “Adventure” mentioned here ( **Malacandra** ) – the dwarf rings a vague bell. Was that one based on the “two word” adventure games? (IIRC, the Infocom ones would accept more than two word commands). The one I remember best was one of the two word adventure games – a pirate game. (SAY YOHO). That one I did solve. [old man ranting mode] When I was a boy, we didn’t have fancy graphics or maps in our computer games! We had to type two word commands, and we liked it! And we had to play our adventure games in a raging blizzard! Uphill! Both ways! [/omrm] ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/36 "2003-09-11T19:25:42Z")
We didn’t _have_ technology when **I** was a _boah_! We wuz ignerrant! And we \*\*liked[/] it! Even **coding**! Don’t even \*\*TALK[/] to me about **coding**! Huh! Computers! Next thing ya know, they’ll be talking about a landing on the moon! Heatherns, the lot of 'em! 😃 I love you little sh\*ts! Q ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/37 "2003-09-11T19:43:29Z")
Yeah, the earlier game engines for IF generally only accepted two word commands, in the form of VERB NOUN, and coincidentally, only read the first four letters of your input, to boot. If you wanted to pick up a hammer, you’d \> TAKE HAMM Then smash a troll in the mush with it \>ATTA TROL But the more recent innovations (and this started with Infocom’s Z-Machine, really) have lead to some pretty damned intelligent parsers. Example from **LurkMeister** ’s sample text above: \>F\*\*k the dwarf The program might now respond: \>But, he’s not your type! or \>Not while he’s waving that axe around. or \>Oh, that’s your answer for _everything_. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/38 "2003-09-11T19:51:20Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Malacandra \* > \* > \>F_ck! > > The scene fades around you. You reappear in a small white cell with no windows or doors. Inside the cell is a washstand, a bowl of water, a scrubbing brush and a bar of green soap. You know what to do. > \* > > And in order to resume the game you had to… I’m sure you can figure it out. [/hijack] Invocatus Episcopus? Plugh? Xyzzy? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![NE\_Texan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e99b99/32.png) [@NE\_Texan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NE_Texan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/39 "2003-09-11T20:01:30Z")
The one with the mud you rub on you was from Scott Adams “Adventure”. Scott Adams had a line of adventure games (I remember buying them on, I kid you not, casette tapes for the Apple II) that were kind of fun, but the Infocom games blew them all away. I have a CD-ROM of the (almost) complete collection of Infocom games - way cool. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have Hitchhiker’s (due to licensing issues, as I recall), which is a sad omission. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827/40 "2003-09-11T20:17:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balance \* > \*\*Plugh? \*\* A hollow voice says “Fool” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-are-tracking-the-footsteps-of-two-young-hobbits/200827.md?page=3)