# You asked for it **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 2, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-asked-for-it/27857 "2000-08-02T16:41:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-asked-for-it/27857/1 "2000-08-02T16:41:13Z")
OVEN STUFFER ROASTER 1. n. Type of chicken that is usually seasoned and baked for an extended period. 2. n. The unusual method of inserting your finger in the ass of your partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is more effective from behind (see NEW JERSEY MEATHOOK). HIGH DIVE: /hi-div/ 1. n. Act of jumping out of a plane and free falling toward earth at nearly 200 mph. 2. The skill of pulling your johnson all the way out of your partners hole, and in one motion, swiftly jamming it home again. Best used in Corn Hole technique, but dangerous. SHOP-VAC: /shop vak/ 1. n. An industrial vacuum cleaner able to pick up large quantities of material and liquids. 2. Sexual equivalent. The act of making a girl inhale your hog from behind while you’re “pulling the V” (see FRUIT BASKET, SILENCE OF THE LAMBS). TEA-BAG: /tee bagg/ 1.n. A sack like structure containing flavored leaves that is attached to a string and dangled in water to give it flavor. 2.n. A sack like structure containg my fat balls that is attached to my massive unit and is stuffed into the mouths of young girls to make them make a “wamuphm” like noise. 3.v tea-bag(ing) the act of stuffing them with the sack filled with my fat balls. ARABIAN GOGGLES /a-RA-be-an GAU-gals/ 1.n. Eyeglasses originating from the Middle Eastern region of the world; specially designed with hooded sides to protect the desert camel driver in extreme sand and wind storms common to the area. 2. n. A seldom-seen maneuver involving the testicles where the satchel is spread wide and placed on the face of the “ride”, thus resting the balls in said gogglee’s eye sockets. SAMOAN PILE DRIVER: /suh-MOan Pyl-dryver/ 1. n. A virility dance practiced throughout Samoan tribes in the Ganges River Basin. 2.n. A large crane-like machine used to extract diamonds from the Samoan Diamond Mines of Carnutspa. 3. n. A sexual position that occurs when the woman’s back and the bed are perpendicular but she is upside down (See also FLOAT VALVE). The practitioner of the Pile Driver stands above the woman and points his shit due south, simply bending his knees for repeated bludgeoning. This process is repeated while screaming, “Abdaay…goony,goony,goony…ABDAY. ABDAY. ABDAY. HA!” Repeat and rinse. CLEVELAND STEAMER: /KLEEV-lund STEE-mrhh/ 1. n. A water-based merchant cargo vessel originating from a large Ohioan city near Lake Erie. 2.n.(slang) The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while receiving penal (that is, penis) pleasure from friction between the mammaries. (see HAWAIIN MUSCLE FUCK and PASADENA MUDSLIDE) HOT KARL: n. 1. A german man who just happens to be warm at the moment. n. 2. The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the man who was just balls deep in her can. (see also CORN HOLE) HOT KARL CANDY CANE: n. 1. A variation of the aforementioned in which the man who is receiving oral cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.(See also SHOCKER) WALKING ABRAHAM: 1. N. God’s right-hand dude’s exercise tape. 2. n. The process of executing the doggy-style position and then, at the most opportune moment, standing up and starting to walk around the room with the woman’s legs tucked tightly under your arms. This gives the woman the option of trying to get away with only her arms to propel her. This move is the basis from which we derive the “The Jogging Slappy Abe”. DIRTY SANCHEZ: /dur-TEE SAN-chez/ 1. n. a filthy hair-lipped mexican peasant. 2. n. The act of fingering a chick’s cornhole, and wiping the remaining detritus on her upper lip while screwing her from behind, thus leaving a trail of shite moustached across her visage. TOPEKA DESTROYER: / TOE-pek-a d’stroi-yrr/ 1. n. An ironclad American warship fabricated in the poorly placed shipyards of Central Kansas. 2. n. The act of vomiting directly onto your partner’s head while recieving fellatio. (See COLD LUNCH) THE DONKEY KICK: 1.The Donkey Kick’s origins can be traced back to King Swigaduj in Nepal around 1324 AD. The Donkey Kick consists of three different facets. Upon beginning the doggy-style position, the artist makes sure that the Kickee’s head is coming very close to the solid oak headboard that is necessary for completion of the move. After establishing himself in this way, the artist begins to screw the Kickee’s head into the headboard, causing the Kickee’s head and neck to start resembling a wet sack of ball bearings. At almost the last second, pull out and ram ass. As the thought of this starts to sink in, and as hard as you can, punch the Kickee at the base of neck/spinal cord and proceed into the headboard. This will cause the Kickee to tense up around your member and finish by either delivering the juice up the chute, or See also Hot Karl Candy Cane. CAJUN HOT STICK: /cage-in hot sti-ck/ 1. n. A spicy meat stick. 2. n. The act in which the cock is taken out of her pooper (see also CAJUN LOG) and slathered in the pool of dip spit in the small of her back and then re-inserted. RIM: /RIM/ 1. n. the outer often curved or circular edge of something. 2. the outer often wrinkled and dark brown edge of the shit shoot. 3. v. (ing) the art of exploring this prune-like orifice with your tongue. (see also “ANAL TONGUE DARTS”) GREEK: /gr-ek/ 1. n. A man or woman that was born in Greece. 2. v. The act of using your glue stick (if you know what I’m saying) and gluing your said partner’s eyes closed. i.e. "Hey guys, check it out, “I greeked her” or "I’m sorry honey, but you asked for the “greek salad”. DUTCH OVEN: /duh-shovin/ 1. n. a cast-iron kettle with a tight cover that is used for baking in an open fire. 2. n. entrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass-odor by farting under the covers and pulling them up over her head (and yours as well if your into it.) DUTCH TREAT: /dush-treet/ 1. n. a meal or other entertainment for which each person pays his own way. 2. n. the unexpected result of a dutch oven gone bad. (see also “GAMBLING and LOSING”) BEEF CURTAIN: /BEEF kurtun/ 1. n. A temperature barrier to protect a meat locker from harmful heat and bacteria. 2. The skanked-out remains of the labia after being stretched like play-doh from an hour of jammy-jam (see also BEEF DRAPES and MEAT TARP). THOR: /THORR/ 1. n. The Norse God of War. 2. n. Fucking a chick while repeatedly bashing her in the side of the head with a big mallet. THE MOOSE: 1. n. An elk-like animal found mostly in the north woods of Wisconsin and areas of Canada. 2. n. The sign given to a kickee when in doggie style. It is performed by placing both hands over your head with palms facing out and waving your fingers wildly. THE NIXON: 1. n. An American President who was forced to resign in 1973 amidst allegations of campaign fraud. 2. n. A variation of THE MOOSE in which you give two peace signs as your indication of dominance. (Optional: You may yell “I’m not a crook” This is considered a very bold rendition and is very rarely done.) TROTTING EZEKIAL: /trot’-ing e-ZEK-yul/ 1. n. a jogging biblical character. 2. n. The act of donning a pair of cleats, and ramming a girl’s back into the wall while fucking in the standing, missionary position, a la football blocking drills. (see FRITZ SHMURR) CHRISTMAS TURKEY CARVER: 1. n. A large, straight knife used to slice a cooked bird before consumption. 2. n. The person doing the carving. 3. n. The act of sitting carefully behind your prone partner, inserting three fingers in her vagina, one in her ass, and voracioulsy puming your digits in and out, maintiaing a perfect L-bend at the elbow, and using only your rotator cuff as a power pivot. (see also SHOCKER and MACHINE GUN KELLEY). 4. n. The person doing the carving. (see RON JEREMY) GLAZED DONUT: /glaz-d DO-nut/ 1.n. a sugar coated baked pastry characterized by its round shape and puckered hole in the middle. 2. n. The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spoo-ing all over her pastry buns, thus transforming her rump into the illusion of an oversized, quivering glazed donut. HOT LUNCH: 1.n. Any of a myriad of well-balanced and pre-prepared meals, delivered warm to the children at lunch time in the school cafeteria. 2. n. The result of defecating directly into your partner’s mouth. VEGETARIAN HOT LUNCH: 1. n. A variation of the above for students who are inclined not to eat animal products. 2. n. A variation upon the aforementioned meal in which the diner stretches a piece of saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible, but no actual contact with animal product ocurrs. (see DENTAL DAM) ALBATROSS: /al-ba-tros/ 1. n. A large marine bird primarily found swampy, marshy regions of North America; notable for its wide wingspan. 2. n. The act of, while performing sex from behind the female, raising the arms upward and outward to full extension, lifting one’s head to the sky, and then concurrently with ejaculation spanking the lower member of the party with both hands simultaneously and repeatedly. CLAUDE DE SADE: /clod-de-sod/ 1. n. The bastard son of the French literary figure, the Marquis de Sade. 2. n. The vigorous pounding of another person’s armpit(s) using the erect penile member until friction causes the free flow of blood; shaving in the recent era has caused a marked decrease in this practice and a reversal in the bleeding party. SCABBY D: /skab-E DE/ 1.n. a rapper from Des Moines with a bizarre speech impediment. 2. n. The unfortunate occurrence for a male due to a practice of dry fucking in blue jeans sans undergarments. One of the most feared of all sexual accidents. BISMARCK: /biz-MARK/ 1.n. The handsome capital of North Dakota. 2.n. The act of, just before ejaculation from fellatio, punching your partner in the nose to induce bleeding, shooting your money shot onto her reddened upper lip, and mixing the two fluids by employing a circular wiping motion with the open palm. It is often reffered to by sign language (a quick air-jab, followed by a counterclockwise open palm ‘wax-the-car’ motion). NEW JERSEY MEATHOOK: /nu jer-ZE mEt-huk/ 1.n. Any of a breed of rusty, sharp east-coast ceiling hooks used to hang beef sides in a meat locker. 2.n. The act of inserting your finger into the ass of your parter, and while screwing her from behind, using only your arm muscles to control the consummation rhythm and process. This method requires excellent restraint and posture; hunchbacking or bending at the waist is never permitted. (see OVEN STUFFER ROASTER) KENNEBUNKPORT SURPRISE: /ke-ne-bunk-port SU-pris/ 1.n. An unepected gift from the Atlantic coast of Maine. 2.n. The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England Clam Chowder and screaming in disgust as you release it between your partner’s legs while chowing box. PAYING THE RENT: 1.n. A regularly scheduled exchange of equity for the right to reside on another’s piece of real property. 2.n. A sexual position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above shoulders, with the man holding the back of her calves and banging ferociously. MANROE TRANSFER: /MAN-ro trans-fur/ 1.n. Any sort of exchange made in a quaint Connecticut town. 2. n. Any purchase of drugs at a McDonalds drive-thru window in said quaint Connecticut town. 3.n. The act when the woman’s back and the bed are perpendicular but she is upside down (see SAMOAN PILE DRIVER), back-to-back with the right-side-up standing man. Through careful anal-orafice matching techniques, the man craps directly into the woman’s upside-down pooper. PASADENA MUDSLIDE: /pa-sa-dE-na MUD-slid/ 1.n. A massive erosion event caused by the combination of steep slopes and torrential rain in the San Fernando Valley of Southern California. 2.n. The act of leaving a windy shit between the breasts of a woman while you straddle her neck for a blow job. A close cousin to the CLEVELAND STEAMER. DAVEY CROCKETT: /da-VE krok-et/ 1. pn. American folk hero of note, known as the king of the wild frontier, and recognized by his racoon skin cap. Reknowned for killing a bear when he was only three. 2. n. A sexual maneuver in which you slip a muscle relaxer into your partner’s snizzpod, and slide your head in, thus wearing your partner’s now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. TRAPPED COYOTE /trapt KI-O-TE/ 1.n. A wild, feral relative of the dog often caught in a spring-loaded, snapping claw trap with the appearance of a shark’s jaw; in most instances, the wily coyote will chew off its own paw en route to freedom. 2.n. The unwieldy experience of awakening to a terrible hangover and memory loss with an arm trapped under a member of the opposite sex who seems to match the aformentioned filthy creature in ugliness. Rather than awaken her, it is common for the trapped male to gnaw off the trapped arm on either side of the elbow. (See also CHARLESTON CHEW) ## DOUBLE WISHBONE /dub-el wish-BON/ 1.n. An advanced shock-absorbency suspension system design found in most modern automobiles. 2.n. The play in which, while in seated 69 position, the man inserts both index fingers into the vagina and both middle fingers into the anus followed by aggressively pulling outwards with both arms. Spitting in anus, while optional, is encouraged for future maneuvers. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-asked-for-it/27857/2 "2000-08-02T16:45:36Z")
What the fuck is this, and just who did ask for it? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-asked-for-it/27857/3 "2000-08-02T16:51:43Z")
This really belonged in the Fexual Acts thread 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-asked-for-it/27857/4 "2000-08-02T16:57:40Z")
He hit “new thread” instead of “post reply”. Perhaps some Moderator will have mercy and put this where it belongs. ---
**Author:** ![Ivar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/51bf81/32.png) [@Ivar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ivar)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-asked-for-it/27857/5 "2000-08-02T18:51:40Z")
Sorry Folks! I’m a newbie here and clicked wrong. The list is sitting on “Fexual Acts” ---
**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2000, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-asked-for-it/27857/6 "2000-08-02T19:36:11Z")
Um, as powerful as I am, there is no way I can insert an independent thread into an already existing one. You should probably cut and paste into the appropriate thread, Ivar.