# You Beat your Dogs 2 Months Ago Because You’re Frustrated with Them, so You Adopt Another Dog **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 3, 2010, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041 "2010-08-03T19:39:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/81 "2010-08-04T18:23:28Z")
God damn you, **Diosa**. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/82 "2010-08-04T18:26:19Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > God damn you, **Diosa**. I know. She needs to ruin a perfectly good train wreck by being all MA-TOOR! :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/83 "2010-08-04T18:29:13Z")
I guess I’m mostly on Papsett’s side here although I can sure understand why this is a pit thread. Personally as long as a very basic level of care is provided for pets (adequate food and water, some attention) and the animal isn’t in severe pain or discomfort I could really care less what people do. According to Papsett her animals aren’t living in a sty, are well-fed, and provided with some attention and exercise, so I don’t see a problem. This is the internet so we have to take what she says (or at least what she said in the original thread) at face value. Almost everyone I talk to has a dog or two. Out of all those households, I know maybe two or three dogs that have every need met to perfection: an hour or two at least of activity per day, walked on lead often, allowed to run full-out on a regular basis, provided with opportunities for structured play, given mental stimulus as well as physical, well-trained and meeting the expectations of the owners, well-socialized with other dogs and people, given plenty of entertaining toys in absense of human attention, have a person home with them to provide attention for much of the day or are in a day-care situation to provide attention while owners are at work, are fed an optimal diet, kept at a healthy weight. I have three dogs myself and their livestyle isn’t meeting this ideal and never will (although I’m fairly satisfied with how they are cared for and they seem well-adjusted and are unusually healthy). Most other dogs I know are overweight or obese, are fed low-quality food which causes them to develop chronic conditions and pain in old age, get little or no real exercise, little or no leashed walks, little or no training, are poorly behaved (IMO) and poorly socialized. I know for a fact that my town is stuffed full of dogs because I walk by their houses and see and hear them inside; but I can go for days at a time walking my dogs 2-3 times daily (and I usually walk in morning or evening after regular working hours, prime dog-walking time) and not see a single other dog being walked. As for the ‘abuse’; I’ll give that it’s morally wrong to hurt your pets unless you’re teaching them (I smack mine when it’s the quickest way to get them to knock something off). But as a kid I got beat/slapped/spanked/screamed at myself for no good reason other than parental frustration plenty of times growing up, and while it was unpleasant, and I strive never to do so myself, it wasn’t the end of the world. Shit happens, and a dog or kid getting ‘beat up’ out of temper _once_ is not a big deal to me as long as there are no injuries, especially if the caregiver is wracked with guilt because they did so and is determined not to do it again. Ultimately I guess I have to agree that adopting a 5th dog when you’ve openly expressed that the other 4 are stressing you to the extent that you’ve done things you really regret isn’t a good idea. But I don’t think it makes Papsett an animal hoarder, stupid, a bad person, a bad pet owner, or more than a \*little \*crazy (I consider myself to be so simply because I have three dogs and two cats). ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/84 "2010-08-04T18:35:44Z")
> [@PapSett](#): > > The thread that caused everyone to lable me an abusive dog hoarder was written at a very low point in my life. When I said I “beat the holy hell” out of Kharma, it WAS an exaggeration, a HUGE one. **Exactly** what I did was get her by the collar, give her a couple smacks on the ass and march her outside. I’m not trying to be cruel (and neither are most of the people in this thread, really), but it seems like you have a lot of ‘low points’ in your life. You are prone to depression - what happens when another low point comes along and this dog isn’t enough? 6 dogs then? And when a person says they “beat the holy hell” out of something, I’m sorry, but there is no way on Earth they mean a few smacks. Even leaving aside the beating, you were smacking, screaming at, and neglecting the dogs. Not good. > [@](#): > > Just keep one thing in mind. It’s a damned good thing that I am in a much better state of mind than I was, because the kind of attack I just suffered is exactly the kind of thing that has pushed suicidal people over the edge, and yes, I have been suicidal. Threating people with your own suicide has nothing to do with being suicidal - it is emotional blackmail, pure and simple. This isn’t an ‘attack’, it’s common sense and concern. I know it hurts, but if you would listen instead of throwing out this counter attack of “I’m so lonely, nobody can understand me!”, you might gain some insights. > [@curlcoat](#): > > Wow. Amazing amount of abuse being dumped on **Papsett** by a bunch of people who don’t really know that much about dogs. As for this - what makes you think other people don’t know dogs? Plenty of people own dogs - she’s not talking about breeding or special training, she’s talking about companion animals. I think most of us are able to say that companion dogs should not be beaten, and should get human companionship and an appropriate amount of exercise. Also, from you own posting history I suspect you used your dogs in a similar way - fuzzy creatures to fill the emotional voids in your life and make up for a lack of human companionship. Only difference is you had more money to lavish upon them. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/85 "2010-08-04T18:36:13Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > God damn you, **Diosa**. So, you’re saying no to my marriage proposal then? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/86 "2010-08-04T18:42:21Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > God damn you, **Diosa**. > > So, you’re saying no to my marriage proposal then? ☹ Aww - too bad - you both have great hair. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/87 "2010-08-04T18:42:30Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > > > God damn you, **Diosa**. > > So, you’re saying no to my marriage proposal then? ☹ I could never marry a white-knighting lulz assassin such as you. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/88 "2010-08-04T18:44:45Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > . . . a dog or kid getting ‘beat up’ out of temper _once_ is not a big deal to me as long as there are no injuries, especially if the caregiver is wracked with guilt because they did so and is determined not to do it again. It wasn’t once though. And I sincerely disagree with you. If someone “beat up” one of my kids out of temper once–especially someone whom my child trusted, I’d be calling the police or CPS or someone. I don’t give a shit how guilty he or she feels afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/89 "2010-08-04T19:02:55Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > “Fuck y’all! You don’t know me! I can do what I want! I take CARE of MY dogs! Y’all just jealous! You WISH you’s as good a trainer as I am!” > > **Papsett** , we have a surprise for you… one of your DOGS is here backstage! Let’s bring him out!" Thank you so much. I haven’t laughed so hard at a post in ages. Throw in the cat fight between **Sleeps** and **alice** (until **Diosa** ruined it) and this is one of the best threads ever. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/90 "2010-08-04T19:05:30Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Wow. Amazing amount of abuse being dumped on **Papsett** by a bunch of people who don’t really know that much about dogs. Shouldn’t you be off somewhere eating a Bounty hoagie? ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/91 "2010-08-04T19:22:12Z")
> [@BottledBlondJeanie](#): > > > [@rhubarbarin](#): > > > > . . . a dog or kid getting ‘beat up’ out of temper _once_ is not a big deal to me as long as there are no injuries, especially if the caregiver is wracked with guilt because they did so and is determined not to do it again. > > It wasn’t once though. > > And I sincerely disagree with you. If someone “beat up” one of my kids out of temper once–especially someone whom my child trusted, I’d be calling the police or CPS or someone. I don’t give a shit how guilty he or she feels afterwards. Of course. No one has the right to lay their hands on your children without you responding in the way you choose. But if someone spanks or smacks arounds their own kids and pets without injuring them, as disipline or just out of temper, there’s nothing you can do. I slap my dogs all the time. No guilt at all here, and I don’t care if people think it’s morally wrong. It’s my family and it’s how I choose to do things. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/92 "2010-08-04T19:40:51Z")
You were right, **Melon** - this thread DID get amazing! 😃 I don’t want to jump on the beating-up **PapSett** bandwagon, but I don’t know anyone who would say “Beat the holy hell out of” when they meant “Discipline with a couple of harmless swats,” especially when you know your audience will truly jump your shit for saying you seriously beat your dog. I think she has issues that would best be looked after by working on some of the things she lacks in her life, rather than getting another dog when she’s having trouble looking after the ones she has now. For what that’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/93 "2010-08-04T19:49:46Z")
Jeez, people, when did it become Pile On Papsett day? I think most of our animals, if they could talk, would have a few things to say about what they’d prefer. The dogs would like more walks, longer walks, and live rabbits to chase. The cats would like all doors open, all the time, live mice to chase, and their boxes cleaned after each use. But yet, every dog I have known would probably say his owner is perfect, ideal, etc. Note that I’m not speculating about what the cats would say. If somebody takes their frustrations out on a pet or a child, that’s bad. But if they don’t do it routinely, and they regret it, and they apologize, I don’t count that as abuse so much as human imperfection. And that’s where I would have put Papsett’s post of a couple of months ago–she recounted an instance of human imperfection. She knew it was a problem and she addressed it. _Two months ago_, people! Y’all going on and on about how she’s _unworthy_ to adopt another dog are just going overboard. I got no sense that she did this routinely, and every sense that her animals are well cared for. I have two cats, and I’m currently thinking about getting a dog. The cats are _not_ gonna like that, I know it, and I’m doing it anyway. Am I abusing my cats? They will think so, but I don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/94 "2010-08-04T19:54:51Z")
But she has said that she has health problems that contribute to her not being able to walk them all that much. And people here have pointed out that it’s the lack of exercise/attention that probably led to the dogs acting in ways that displeased her…that resulted in her smacking and beating them. When you add to that the fact that she sounds very unstable (the suicide thing was very scary to read), she doesn’t sound like someone who should have another animal. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/95 "2010-08-04T20:18:38Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > she doesn’t sound like someone who should have another animal. I think she should get some more cats, nobody cares what happens to them… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/96 "2010-08-04T20:22:17Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > > she doesn’t sound like someone who should have another animal. > > I think she should get some more cats, nobody cares what happens to them… God this thread is all kinds of awesome… ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/97 "2010-08-04T20:25:13Z")
Three out of four of the dogs I’ve owned have been big dogs, and they liked their walks, for sure. Now I read here that large, active dogs need _several long walks_ a day. My dogs did not get that. My husband and I had jobs, we had kids, and we did take the dogs for at least one walk a day, and sometimes more. But not _several long walks_ a day. Who can do that? At one point for a few months we had a yard, but it wasn’t fenced, and during that period we had to go for many more walks, but most of them were short. And then the occasional weekend hike of miles and miles, which the dogs loved, of course. But that wasn’t an everyday occurrence. The dogs adapted. We also spent many hours a day (well, it seemed like it) throwing increasingly soggy tennis balls. The dogs never got enough of that, either, according to them. At one point one of my dogs had a hip problem, and the vet said he should go on mile-long jogs in a straight line, and I did that. The vet also said the best thing would be to take him for a swim in warm water. Couldn’t do that. (Although I fantasized standing on the side of the road holding up a sign saying “Dog needs swim therapy, please help!” and now, if your dog needs swim therapy, there is a place to do it.) In short, I did what I could because I loved that dog, but I couldn’t do everything. I felt bad about it, but short of buying a house with a heated pool, which was out of the question, I couldn’t do the swim therapy. It sounds to me like Papsett is doing everything she can for her dogs, and that is enough. A big yard? Ball-throwing? Walks? She’s got two out of three. I love how so many people in this thread are either perfect pet owners, or else they have chosen not to have a pet because they can’t be. Very all or nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/98 "2010-08-04T20:32:16Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > It sounds to me like Papsett is doing everything she can for her dogs, and that is enough. A big yard? Ball-throwing? Walks? She’s got two out of three. Where does screaming at them and beating the holy hell out of them fit in? > [@](#): > > I love how so many people in this thread are either perfect pet owners, or else they have chosen not to have a pet because they can’t be. Very all or nothing. If it’s no too much trouble, can you point out where someone has claimed to be a perfect pet owner? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/99 "2010-08-04T20:33:45Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > It sounds to me like Papsett is doing everything she can for her dogs, and that is enough. A big yard? Ball-throwing? Walks? She’s got two out of three. > > I love how so many people in this thread are either perfect pet owners, or else they have chosen not to have a pet because they can’t be. Very all or nothing. My dog goes batshit and will literally gnaw on the walls unless we go for two walks a day (I do one 30 min walk in the morning before work and one hour long walk before dinner). Like you, I’ve had big ass dogs that were quite content without crazy amounts of walks- but the point is that if her dogs are giving her trouble, the first thing she should be trying (before beating the holy hell out of them) is more exercise. She claims to be a dog trainer, so she should know this (whenever I’ve seen a dog trainer interacting with a problem dog, the first thing they ask the owner is how much exercise the dog is getting). I’m not perfect, but even I- not a dog trainer at all- know that when a dog is acting up, the first thing you try is more exercise. And she isn’t doing everything she can because if her dogs are acting out to the point that she breaks down and beats them, then something else needs to be done for them. If she’s too busy to walk all five of her dogs an hour a day, then maybe she should hire a dog walker or pet sitter who can. Maybe all five don’t need a walk, maybe just the problem 2 (or whoever is acting up), but the point is that clearly she’s got some bored dogs who are acting out and that is causing her grief. Instead of dealing with the dogs accordingly, she just. . . got another one. Bringing a new dog into an unstable environment is a good way to greatly exacerbate a situation where dogs are acting up. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041/100 "2010-08-04T20:35:16Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Now I read here that large, active dogs need _several long walks_ a day. My dogs did not get that. My husband and I had jobs, we had kids, and we did take the dogs for at least one walk a day, and sometimes more. But not _several long walks_ a day. Who can do that? Yah, the ‘several long walks’ thing was a bit odd to me as well - I’ve always heard one long walk coupled with short walks to do their business is a good guideline. Also, I’m certainly not a perfect pet owner. I’m sure my dog would enjoy more walks, more cookies, more tummy rubs and to be allowed to hump the cat. I would like a pony; however, we don’t always get what we want. I think the objection of most people - certainly me - is that **PapSett** has indicated that she has dogs with behaviour problems which would probably benefit from extra walks, more exercise, etc. which she is unable to provide due to her health issues. Getting another dog that will require the same or a greater level of exercise without having addressed the issues with the first dogs strikes me as being irresponsible, particularly when the behaviour problems of the current dogs are causing her to lash out at them. I don’t think **PapSett** is a bad person or doesn’t deserve to have pets - not at all. However, based on her posts she appears to be making decisions and responding to criticism about those decisions in such a way that sets my teeth on edge. Based on many of the other responses in this thread, I think I am probably not alone in that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-beat-your-dogs-2-months-ago-because-you-re-frustrated-with-them-so-you-adopt-another-dog/549041.md?page=6)