### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/1 "2005-05-27T11:31:24Z")
OK, this isn’t a thread about pies, but about administrative assholery at my ISP - EasySpace.
I’ve seen a significant increase in the volume of spam and virus emails in my mailbox of late; to the extent that it often fills up with crap and legitimate messages get bounced before I can get home each day to empty it. Of course I could buy a bigger mailbox, but I’d still be getting lots of spam, so I thought I’d splash out and spend the money on their server-side mail filtering service instead.
So I bought the package and nothing seemed to happen, even though it said it had been activated; their tech support sent me a link to the control panel - the same link I had already tried - it suddenly worked this time (I think they probably forgot to switch something on the first time around), but anyway, that part was not deeply unsatisfactory.
So I tried configuring the mail filter; I’m immediately disappointed that it doesn’t seem to have very many options - a sender black and white list, a keyword filter (more on this later) and a quarantine area where filtered mail can either be deleted or made to deliver normally.
That’s it.
No way to configure the antivirus at all (such as blocking certain file types regardless)
No way to configure the strength of spam filtering.
No way to blacklist mails addressed to certain recipients (I get a lot of spam addressed to sales@ and info@ my domain - addresses I never use)
No way to train the filter, etc.
On top of that, about half of the spam and virus-laden email still comes through unhindered.
On top of that, legitimate mail is intercepted and quarantiend (and not the kind that I can easily add to a white list - stuff like PayPal messages, where the ‘from’ field is the name of the person sending the cash).
On top of that, the bloody keyword filter just _ **doesn’t work** _ - OK, it does work if the keyword is in the subject line, but not if it’s in the message body. The response from tech support on this?
> [@](#):
>
> I have just tried sending an email with the phrase “monkeytrousers” repeated three times in the email, it appears to be have been blocked. I’ve notice that one of your test emails was actually recieved even with though it contained the phrase. My guess is that the mail filter will identify it as a spam only if the phrase is used repeatedly in the message body as a precaution incase someone you know actually wants to use that phrase.
(my test keyword was ‘monkeytrousers’, BTW)
Ohhhh, I see; that’s _useful_ - because I can just ask all those spammers to _repeatedly_ mention the keywords, and if my _friends_ want to contact me to sell me viagra, or hot naked teen pics, their important messages will still get through, that makes perfect fucking sense. Not.
So, anyway, after not much more than 24 hours of using this ‘service’, and having to check the quarantine area frequently to release legitimate emails, I decided enough is enough; here’s the conversation so far:
> [@](#):
>
> **Mangetout wrote:**
> I’m extremely disappointed with the Mail Secure filtering service I added to my domain yesterday; it simply doesn’t work properly and is hardly configurable at all;
>
> - I’m still receiving spam that is passing through the filter unrecognised.
> - It can’t be configured to block messages addressed to a specific name in a catch-all mailbox
> - It can’t even be configured to block emails based on a user-defined keyword (unless that keyword happens to be in the subject line - if it’s in the message body, it’s ignored).
>
> Please would you remove the Mail Secure filtering service from my domain hosting package. Please do not remove or cancel any other services/packages.
> [@](#):
>
> **EasySpace wrote:**
> Thank you for contacting Easyspace.
>
> To cancel your service, please verify the ownership of the domain & email us back with:
>
> Domain name /s
> Owners full name
> Address
> Date of birth
> Email address
>
> Also, please attach a written document stating you want to cancel what services with us. Once the information is verified, we will forward your request of cancellation to our Accounts Department.
>
> Our apology for an inconvenience.
> [@](#):
>
> **Mangetout wrote:**
> Attached cancellation letter as requested
> [@](#):
>
> **EasySpace wrote:**
> Thank you for the document.
>
> I’ve already cancelled the Easyspace Mail Secure Yearly package per your request. I also escalated this information to our Accounts Department and they will update this information in the billing system for you.
>
> We apologise for the difficulties you have experienced.
> [@](#):
>
> **Mangetout wrote:**
> Thanks for your assistance on this issue.
>
> I’m still seeing a footer on all of my incoming emails saying that they have been scanned by NetIntelligence - I don’t remember this being there a couple of days ago; is this anything to do with the service that has just been cancelled?
> [@](#):
>
> **EasySpace wrote:**
> Our Accounts Department states that you cannot cancel this package as this was just added on 25/05/05. You have made a payment and this is in 12 month contract. You will not be able to cancel or get any refund. Our technician has re-activated the package for you.
>
> Please be informed that to solve your problem getting spam, you can remove “catchall” service. This will help you reduce the number of spam. If you want to proceed this, please confirm with us again. Also, you can manage your email setup using anti-spam/anti-virus via the control panel.
>
> Thank you for using Easyspace service.
> [@](#):
>
> **Mangetout wrote:**
> I didn’t honestly expect that I’d get any money back, but I want this package removed from my account because a) it’s completely ineffective and b) it suffers from false positives and is blocking legitimate mail; I don’t care if you keep the £18, I just don’t want this thing getting in the way of the proper function of my email.
>
> Removing catchall email simply isn’t a viable option either.
>
> Keep the money, but please remove this useless, inconvenient package from my account; if you can’t do this, I’ll have to consider transferring my business to another ISP.
> [@](#):
>
> **EasySpace wrote:**
> Please be informed that the package you purchased is Easyspace Mail Secure Yearly. This is a 12 months contract and you have to pay for 18 GBP + VAT every month for 1 year. Unfortunately, our Accounts Department cannot cancel this service for you due to this condition.
>
> Thank you for using Easyspace service.
> [@](#):
>
> **Mangetout wrote:**
> Are you INSANE? The option I signed up for offered two different payment options:
> £1.50 per month
> £18.00 per year
>
> The following data is cut-and-paste of the invoice your system emailed me when I (stupidly) purchased this product:
> Product: Easy Mail Filter Single mail box
> Details: \
> Billing Period: Yearly
> Cost\*: £18.00
Fucking unbelievable! - and the irony of it all? The package is called _Easy Mail Filter_, provided by _NetIntelligence_ - maybe I should just switch ISP anyway. I’ll post more news as it develops…
---
### Author:  [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/2 "2005-05-27T11:39:29Z")
My head has just exploded in sympathy. Lord save us from the incompetent.
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### Author:  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/3 "2005-05-27T12:42:33Z")
Wow, that’s remarkably stupid. Do you have other decent ISP options?
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### Author:  [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/4 "2005-05-27T12:51:06Z")
Absolutely switch IPs.
I was with an ISP that had similar problems - I got the living jesus spammed out of me because they had very bad policies concerning how their ISP was used. They had some archaic POS antispam program they offered that that was completely useless, so the only way to get any kind of effective spam blocking going was to go out an get a real package on my own and then hack (good sense of the word) the system to get it working properly…
I switched ISPs, ended up with a great company with responsive tech support, a spam filter that uses heuristic tests, and my spam has dropped to basically nil.
Good luck!
---
### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/5 "2005-05-27T13:10:06Z")
> [@Revtim](#):
>
> Wow, that’s remarkably stupid. Do you have other decent ISP options?
Yes; NewNet is supposedly very good and their office is just down the road from me (not that this probably helps at all, as I’m sure they won’t deal with tech support in person). It’s just the hassle of switching, however, the hassle of dealing with these idiots is beginning to outweigh that.
---
### Author:  [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/6 "2005-05-27T16:55:53Z")
That’s really stunningly stupid. Isn’t there a phone number where you can contact someone who might have a clue?
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/7 "2005-05-27T19:45:38Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> OK, this isn’t a thread about pies…
☹
---
### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/8 "2005-05-27T22:40:10Z")
It’s all gone quiet now; they certainly had a chance to respond to my last comment during the working day, but they didn’t. It’s a bank holiday weekend too, so I don’t suppose I’ll hear anything further until next week. I went back to the ordering page of their website (where it does indeed say that the charge is £1.50 PM or £18.00 PA) and I took a screen grab… just in case…
I’m actually not sure what I’ll do next; I could just shrug and change ISP, but I only just paid the hosting renewal for this one.
I think I could probably push for a refund, even though they say it isn’t possible; after all, the service they provided was not of merchantable quality, although my comment that they could keep the damn money may have prejudiced that.
One thing is certain; their filtering ‘service’ is intolerably inconvenient; they’ve absolutely got to remove it from my account - and since they’ve already done this once, then put it back again, they can’t plead impossiblity…
---
### Author:  [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/9 "2005-05-27T22:47:15Z")
I assume you paid for this “service” with a credit card? Contact your credit card company and dispute the charge. Watch how fast the “service” gets cancelled.
---
### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 27, 2005, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/10 "2005-05-27T23:14:09Z")
Probably not a good idea; they might freeze my account in response and that could cause big troubles getting them to release the tag if I want to transfer the domain away.
---
### Author:  [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)
#### Post date: [May 28, 2005, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/11 "2005-05-28T00:27:00Z")
Oh, and see, I thought only US companies were outsourcing their customer service functions to third world companies staffed by people who don’t understand English.
---
### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2005, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/12 "2005-05-31T01:34:15Z")
Oh no; lots of call centre operations have been exported to India and other places from the UK.
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### Author:  [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2005, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/13 "2005-05-31T08:38:11Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> Probably not a good idea; they might freeze my account in response and that could cause big troubles getting them to release the tag if I want to transfer the domain away.
“release the tag” 😕
I don’t know if yours is a UK domain or if they work different from .com/.net/.org/etc, but you really should have it in your own name anyway, and the ISP shouldn’t be able to touch it, change it, or hold it hostage whatsoever. When I switch ISPs it’s as simple as changing the name server IPs with my registar.
Good luck.
---
### Author:  [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2005, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/14 "2005-05-31T08:59:10Z")
What is it with web hosting that seems to make that industry the bleeding edge of Asshole-Enabled Customer Service? I’ve heard so many stories like this… it’s just sad. Mediocre techies to think they can hang out a shingle and run a hands-off web hosting business just because they can buy cheap billing and hosting software.
Since you’re having problems, I’d like to plug my hosting company of choice, [www.asmallorange.com](http://www.asmallorange.com). The support is mind-bogglingly fast and efficient. The normal response time on issues is between 5 and 60 minutes. I’ve never gone more than 8 hours without a response or 24 hours without a satisfactory resolution.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2005, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/15 "2005-05-31T13:00:37Z")
> [@Eleusis](#):
>
> “release the tag” 😕
>
> I don’t know if yours is a UK domain or if they work different from .com/.net/.org/etc, but you really should have it in your own name anyway, and the ISP shouldn’t be able to touch it, change it, or hold it hostage whatsoever. When I switch ISPs it’s as simple as changing the name server IPs with my registar.
>
> Good luck.
Yes, it’s a .UK domain - registered with Nominet in my name; transfers involve getting the current ISP to set the IPS tag to point at the new ISP; Nominet can also do this independently or in spite of the ISP, however it isn’t at all simple if the current ISP doesn’t want to cooperate (or is unable to) - I had a similar problem with another domain where the ISP went bust without any warning - getting the tag changed involved providing documentary evidence that it really was our domain and we had to wait a few weeks while it all got sorted out.
---
### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-bought-this-pie-now-ill-force-you-to-eat-it-long-rambling-lame/305740/16 "2005-06-02T00:39:59Z")
Well, they came back with:
> [@](#):
>
> I will get back to you again as soon as I hear from the Accounts Department
> about the cancellation request. Please be patient.
>
> Thank you for using Easyspace service.
I just also found out that they’ll charge me fifty quid to transfer the domain away from them. I might do it anyway just to spite them.