# You can ALL lick my balls! Grr... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 28, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413 "2003-01-28T04:28:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/1 "2003-01-28T04:28:04Z")
I have granted permission for the following to lick my balls: - pencil-dicks that tailgate - wife beaters (someone I know) - garlic (it’s the devil incarnate) - static fucking electricity (is this God’s idea of a joke? It fucking HURTS!) - CDs that skip - fucking racists at work Ahh, that feels better, it’s been one of those days! 🆒 Anyone else got something that could do with licking a pair of testicles? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/2 "2003-01-28T04:30:00Z")
You missed obsessive tongue tickling testicle technicians ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/3 "2003-01-28T04:38:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > \*\*Anyone else got something that could do with licking a pair of testicles? :dubious: \*\* Yes I do… the sub-zero weather can lick my ba-err-ovaries! G’wan! LICK 'EM! Ya know ya wanna! :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/4 "2003-01-28T04:53:21Z")
You don’t like garlic? Then you don’t want me to lick your balls. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/5 "2003-01-28T05:06:10Z")
**danceswithcats** : You mean **Karp2381**? I haven’t missed him, but he’s currently busy what with so many people licking _his_ balls at the moment. **Lola** : Thanks… I think! I have a slightly disturbing mental image in my head now… :eek: **Brutus** : You are excused from the ball licking ceremony. Dismissed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/6 "2003-01-28T05:18:22Z")
Oh, and in case you’re wondering, [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=157406&highlight=garlicman) is why garlic can suck my big hairy pods. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/7 "2003-01-28T05:24:24Z")
> [@](#): > > from **samarm** > > - static fucking electricity (is this God’s idea of a joke? It fucking HURTS!) It would probably hurt more on your balls… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/8 "2003-01-28T06:55:00Z")
Anyone who dislikes garlic can … eh … find an attractive woman and have _her_ lick my balls! The thought of Bill Gates licking my balls is enough to send me into a cataleptic fit. ---
**Author:** ![tmwster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/57b2e6/32.png) [@tmwster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tmwster)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/9 "2003-01-28T07:37:43Z")
Hospital administrators who think my time is best spent in all-day meetings can lick my, uh, **samarm’s** balls! **Said HA will then most likely decide to assign me to a project team to develop an action plan to improve the testicle licking experience which is to be presented at the next all-day meeting in a story-board format. Lengthy written report to follow that HA will not read, but will instead expect me to verbally summarize after written report is presented. Weekly update reports will be expected with collected and analyzed data demonstrated in graphical format.** ---
**Author:** ![Celeborn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@Celeborn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celeborn)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/10 "2003-01-28T11:56:48Z")
Moldy water can lick my balls…I hate that shit. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/11 "2003-01-28T13:13:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Celeborn \* > \*\*Moldy water can lick my balls…I hate that shit. \*\* Welcome to SDMB, **Celeborn**. Your first post was _sniff_ just beautiful. _Hoooooonnkkkk_ ---
**Author:** ![Celeborn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c77e96/32.png) [@Celeborn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celeborn)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/12 "2003-01-28T14:52:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LolaCocaCola \* > \*\*Welcome to SDMB, **Celeborn**. > > Your first post was _sniff_ just beautiful. > > _Hoooooonnkkkk_ \*\* Thank you **LolaCocaCola**. I felt that I have stood by long enough to let that go without saying. 🆒 Hello and a deep respectful bow to all on the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/13 "2003-01-28T14:54:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Celeborn \* > \*\*Moldy water can lick my balls…I hate that shit. \*\* You’re completely insane! Moldy Water is amazing! Like…his version of “Born Under a Bad Sign” is definitive! And how about his “Hoochie Coochie Ma–” Oh. [Emily Litella] Never mind. [/Emily Litella] ---
**Author:** ![Desmostylus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c57346/32.png) [@Desmostylus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Desmostylus)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/14 "2003-01-28T14:58:08Z")
You’d better race off to the thread [When this Celeb dies I will cry](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=159096) and say Celeb_orn_! ---
**Author:** ![RedFury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ec9cab/32.png) [@RedFury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedFury)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/15 "2003-01-30T07:42:00Z")
Would volunteering to eat some pussy be the opposite of telling someone to lick my balls? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/16 "2003-01-30T07:47:39Z")
But where do ball lickers get their [stamina?](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mpornstamina.html) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/17 "2003-01-30T07:52:22Z")
Are they chocolate and salty, 'cus you just might have a few takers… ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/18 "2003-01-30T07:58:58Z")
- People who don’t use their blinkers - Schmucks who don’t tip me - My tiny, annoying Napoleon-complex bastard coworker - The lady with the Beamer who parks in front of MY building instead of her own, thus stealing my spot, just so she can “watch her car” from her kitchen window - The people who keep making all these absurd reality shows AND - The rude and incredibly stupid tourists who use the bathroom, make phone calls, and ask directions without ordering anything from me… CAN ALL LICK MY BALLS! _ahem_ I don’t have balls, but I don’t want them licking any other part of my anatomy…and anyway, cajones can be metaphorical, right? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/19 "2003-01-30T09:03:38Z")
I don’t tip, it’s a principle thing. I’m like that guy in Resevoir Dogs. Does that mean I’ve got to lick your metaphorical balls? Or have you a better offer? And are you hot? 🙂 (only joking - I do tip really! Before you all pile on me…) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/20 "2003-01-30T09:11:14Z")
“How would you like to go to the Principal’s office?” “How would you like to lick my balls?” “What did you say?!?” “Oh, I’m sorry, what I meant to say was… ahem… HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO LICK MY BALLS… Mr. Garrison?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413.md?page=2)