# You can ALL lick my balls! Grr...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [January 28, 2003, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413 "2003-01-28T04:28:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 13\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Khan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3ab097/32.png) [@Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khan)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/21 "2003-01-30T10:20:26Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by samarm \*  
> \*\*- garlic (it’s the devil incarnate)  
> \*\*

:eek: :mad:

Garlic, eh? Well, fuck you in the fuck fucking fuck, you fuck fucking fuck fucker. Fuck you.

😛 😛 😛

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**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/22 "2003-01-30T11:04:52Z")

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Is that “Garlic, eh?” in the style of:

[Homer]Internet, eh…?[/Homer]

What are you, president of the Garlic Foundation? You can suck my ding dongs!

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**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/23 "2003-01-30T13:12:07Z")

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Hey **Celeborn** , welcome to the SDMB! 🙂

I bow to your elven distaste for moldy water. 😃

May I add that the following people can also grab themselves a Crazy Straw and suck my ass: (sorry, no balls here)

-the idiot with the cell phone who cut me off in a parking lot yesterday

-that motherfucker at the post office who spent 15 minutes meticulously crossing out all the markings on her package while 10 people stood in line behind her some 5 minutes before closing

-my asshole neighbor who likes to mow his lawn at 6 in the morning on summer weekends (fucker also likes to crank up his snowblower at ungodly hours-like right now)

-that fucking guy at the bookstore who picked up my copy of Moliere and said “You actually read this? Why?”

grrrrr…

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**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/24 "2003-01-30T13:15:56Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by samarm \*  
> **- garlic (it’s the devil incarnate)**

Whoa there! What did garlic ever do to you? Don’t you know that garlic is an essential tool in this world? How do you propose we get rid of vampires without it?

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**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/25 "2003-01-30T13:43:44Z")

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While this is a Pit thread and all, it’s too early yet to bitch about anything except …

You have any idea how long it’s been since my balls have been licked? Not good.

No, sir, this just will not do.  
Volunteers?

:D:D:D:D:D

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/26 "2003-01-30T14:58:16Z")

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If I was Postmaster you could damn sure expect us to issue a testicle stamp.

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**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/27 "2003-01-30T15:34:06Z")

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mmmmmmmmm…balls…are they hairy and sweaty?

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**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\
**Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/28 "2003-01-30T16:22:49Z")

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As long as we’re on the ball licking topic, the following people/things/situations can lick mine:

1. People keeping pot illegal in the US
2. Other drivers (you know who you are)
3. Technology
4. Bipolar depression
5. 5 day work weeks
6. People in power
7. Fat
8. Ignorance
9. Ignorance
10. Morning headaches

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**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/29 "2003-01-31T00:25:41Z")

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**Bongmaster** , I like your style.

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**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/30 "2003-01-31T04:30:47Z")

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So much ball licking, so little time.

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**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/31 "2003-01-31T04:50:25Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Bongmaster \*  
> **1) People keeping pot illegal in the US**

Does anyone else see the irony in this? 🙂

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**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/32 "2003-01-31T05:39:18Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lieu \*  
> \*\*If I was Postmaster you could damn sure expect us to issue a testicle stamp. \*\*

You sure as hell ain’t gonna be stamping MY testicles any time soon!

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**Author:** ![Quonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ed655f/32.png) [@Quonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quonk)\
**Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-all-lick-my-balls-grr/151413/33 "2003-01-31T22:29:50Z")

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1. Workers in checkout lines who comment on my purchases. NO, do NOT look up at me after scanning that CD and smirk or raise an eyebrow. Ugh. This is why I try to do as much shopping online as possible.

2. The informed insider at (coughcough) University who wrote me a friendly email to let me know that, three weeks ahead of the notification deadline, my application had already been denied, with no possibility of deferral. You could have at least BSed about the strength of the applicant pool and such like most schools do.

3. People who talk about me when I’m sitting five feet away.

That’s what comes to mind today.

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