# You can go back in time and stop Michael Jackson from dying. Do you do it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 3, 2010, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924 "2010-10-03T16:28:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/61 "2010-10-04T04:44:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > A certain unnamed Doper who likes to screw with the timeline for the sake of mischief is offering you a brief, one-time-only opportunity. He’s lending you one of his Burroughs-Libby continua craft-- the scooter version, without any cargo space or Pym shrink rays, so there’s no question about taking any cool stuff. The time-space skipper is pre-programmed so that you can go back to June 24, 2009 – the day before Michael Jackson died. The only place you can go is his mansion. > > You will be allowed two and only two pieces of magic tech on this mission. One is a device that makes it impossible for anyone to disbelieve you if you say utter the following sentence (or anything related to it): > > _Michael, you are in danger of dying. Do not take any medication or drugs of any sort offered you by Dr. Conrad Murray if you want to live._ > > The other piece of magic tech you are allowed is a phaser locked on stun. If you wish you may, while at the Jackson estate, track down Murray, stun him, and take him via the scooter to a location of your choosing, and dump him where he can do no harm. Other than that, no side trips are allowed. > > Any takers? Why or why not? On a serious note, and as others in the thread have mentioned, going back to the day before MJ died would probably not have prevented his death. The most that could have hoped for is a delay of, what, days? Weeks? You’d have to go all the way back to his childhood to have any real impact on his future. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/62 "2010-10-04T08:20:52Z")
> [@Onomatopoeia](#): > > You’d have to go all the way back to his childhood to have any real impact on his future. An excellent suggestion. I’d use the device to go back and off the little creep as a kid, thus saving countless future children the traumatic experience of molestation by this pervert. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/63 "2010-10-04T08:22:15Z")
I’m saving my karma for John Lennon. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/64 "2010-10-04T11:19:42Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > “Hengry” is the word you seek; it refers to the condition of a person starving for lack of the flesh of fowls. Check the OED if you don’t believe me. > > I have a OED on my computer and looked it up, as this didn’t appear to be a joke. Hengry is not in the OED. Neither is gullible. Rhymers do not joke, although they may reference events from a worldline which is currently not manifested. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/65 "2010-10-04T14:03:05Z")
I’d rather go further back and keep him from being abused, but I realize that’s not one of the choices being offered in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/66 "2010-10-04T14:38:03Z")
OK, a lot of negative responses here. I’d give it a shot. Would it help? I don’t know, but I doubt it. Everything people said negatively is true, I don’t deny it. But I’d give him the chance. If he fails to take advantage of it, well, not ultimately my problem. I’m not his dad and I can’t control his fate, and I shouldn’t try. But he might get clean, he might choose a better way, and I can’t think of any better way of spending my time than that. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/67 "2010-10-04T16:03:00Z")
I have to agree with the conscensus, MJ was an addict and telling him he was going to die from it may only delay the inevitable. I’d rather save someone else, like tell Phil Hartman to get rid of any weapons and commit his wife to a drug treatment facility. ---
**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/68 "2010-10-04T17:02:07Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I have to agree with the conscensus, MJ was an addict and telling him he was going to die from it may only delay the inevitable. > > I’d rather save someone else, like tell Phil Hartman to get rid of any weapons and commit his wife to a drug treatment facility. Now here’s a project I can get behind. When you get the flux capacitor, give me a shout; I’ll arrange for the DeLorean and some plutonium. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/69 "2010-10-04T17:05:58Z")
How do I know the scooter isn’t booby-trapped? It’s just that there’s this rumor going around that you’re evil. Sure, I take the risk when you’re offering to send me somewhere exotic like Middle Earth. But just to go back a few years and save Michael Jackson? Forget about it! ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/70 "2010-10-04T17:09:37Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I’d rather go further back and keep him from being abused, but I realize that’s not one of the choices being offered in the OP. What are you going to do? Shoot Joe Jackson in the face in 1970 or something? Saving MJ’s sanity is a decades-long project beginning the late sixties, at the very least. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/71 "2010-10-04T17:18:20Z")
I wouldn’t save him. Why would I? Why does he deserve saving? I don’t know him personally and his life and death really meant nothing to me. I knew a little kid who got hit by a car and died when I was about 16. He was about 10. He’d be 23-24 now. I don’t remember his name. I’d save him. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/72 "2010-10-04T17:36:01Z")
I have ZERO tolerance for drug users. Nobody forces them to do drugs, and does anyone think the word wold be better if Jackson had lived? ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/73 "2010-10-04T18:40:08Z")
His being MJ has nothing to do with it. If you put me in a postion where I can, with absolute certainty, save someone’s life, I will do it. I don’t care if he’s Michael Jackson or MJ’s accountant’s neice’s best friend’s brother. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2010, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/74 "2010-10-04T23:45:51Z")
Damn right, Skammer. Provided, given this is time travel, that doing it doesn’t create a horrible casual loop. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/75 "2010-10-05T01:08:23Z")
I think Michael was perfectly OK with dying when he did. He was, according all accounts, completely mortified by the idea of getting old. So no, I wouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/76 "2010-10-05T03:00:21Z")
Reading the OP carefully, I would: Dump the two devices, travel back, load up as much jewelry and small, pocketable items as I could, then hightail it back (without saving MJ). Well, he’s going to die anyway, isn’t he? It’s not like anyone will miss it… ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/77 "2010-10-05T09:11:53Z")
I’d save anyone I could. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/78 "2010-10-05T10:08:40Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > If you wish you may, while at the Jackson estate, track down Murray, stun him, and take him via the scooter to a location of your choosing, and dump him where he can do no harm. Other than that, no side trips are allowed. > > Any takers? Why or why not? I’d give it a try. I’d also use the loophole in the OP - stun and kidnap Murray, and drop him off someplace further back in time where I can use my knowledge of stocks and lottery tickets. Hell, I might even go back to 1980, drop his inert body on Chapman and try for a two-fer ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/79 "2010-10-05T10:15:27Z")
Nobody’s going to go back and stop me from dying, why should he get preferential treatment? I might try to convince him to give up the oogy skeevy behaviour that got him into such a godawful mess (I am of the mind he is innocent of most charges, and was just behaving very close to a line he never actually crossed). But I wouldn’t interfere with his inevitable and already fixed-point-in-time death. I saw that Doctor Who episode. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2010, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924/80 "2010-10-05T10:21:56Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Nobody’s going to go back and stop me from dying, why should he get preferential treatment? > > I might try to convince him to give up the oogy skeevy behaviour that got him into such a godawful mess (I am of the mind he is innocent of most charges, and was just behaving very close to a line he never actually crossed). But I wouldn’t interfere with his inevitable and already fixed-point-in-time death. I saw that Doctor Who episode. This is an arguement FOR doing it. So I’m trapped in a pocket of time with the delectable Rose Tyler. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-go-back-in-time-and-stop-michael-jackson-from-dying-do-you-do-it/555924.md?page=5)