How many gold bars can I carry out of Ft. Knox?
According to this, each bar weighs about 27 pounds and contains about 400 troy ounces of gold. And according to this, the current price of gold is just under $1,673 per ounce.
So, assuming you’re properly prepared, I think the answer to your question is “enough.”
I go back to April 18th 1938 with a 1930’s dime. Go up to the nearest newsstand and purchase a single issue of Action Comics #1, at a near perfect grade it’s estimated to be worth over $4,000,000,
I don’t know…the OP says you can bring things back if you carry them, and can bring things with you…but would something like a hand-truck or dolly count? Or is that too big?
Otherwise, you’re realistically looking at 3 bars, maybe 4 or 5 if you’re really strong.
Each bar is worth ~$670,000…so even 5 of them is less than 3.5 million.
Seems like getting a winning PowerBall ticket would be easier and net you more money…and less suspicion…ever try and bring a gold bar into a bank to deposit? 
The biggest problem with that is there would be no aging. Even a “mint” condition one right now will have some signs of oxidation on the paper, ink fading, etc…any expert who looks at yours will just think it’s a very ,very, VERY good reproduction. You’d have to find a way to both protect it as best as possible, but still hide/stow it away. I suppose you can try to get a safe deposit box, paid in full for like 80 years in cash, and hope that when you come back they are still using the same box and your key works.
Haha, I did the same thing. I’d be doing the same thing I am, now.
Anyway, in answer to the thread (and to make a long story short), I would have removed my pants. 
I’d go back in time to a point before I had a time machine and kill myself. Why? Because the dude was going to create a time paradox and that needed to be stopped.
Find some way to stop the widespread use and proliferation of something with a huge impact on global warming. Or maybe pick some long-dead genius to present the problem of global warming to and let them work out a solution.
Two words: Mega Millions.
Isn’t that a prefix and one word (that makes the prefix redundant?)
We have billions of dollars invested, thousands of reports on decades of research from hundreds of scientists from around the globe. Many of those scientists would be considered “geniuses.” We also have really good predictive models on what will happen in the future with no change. Yet that’s not enough to convince a majority of the public, nor significantly affect public policy.
Tell me what you’re going to give this one lone genius, or explain in 15 minutes that would change that. Remember, all of today’s evidence suddenly becomes just tomorrow’s predictions when you time travel.
I like the “Kill Hitler” one, with a couple of changes: carry with me, and distribute as widely as possible before the assassination, some propaganda showing:
- That time travel has been invented;
- Details of the Holocaust and World War II;
- A promise that we do-gooders of the future have the means to assassinate anyone who leads a totalitarian regime, and we won’t hesitate to do so.
- A comprehensive list of natural disasters for the next fifty years, both as proof of my claims and as an additional humanitarian gesture.
Ideally I think it’d be good to bring this stuff back in some sort of radio transmitter that can usurp local radio stations, if there’s something portable that will do this; and in some brochures that can be fired out of some sort of brochure-cannon device over a large area; and in a couple dozen letters addressed to media and political leaders around the world, to be mailed from a couple of different mailboxes.
The hope is that
Go back two years ago and delete certain messages from my Gmail account.
I would give a letter to myself in 3rd grade explaining a few things to him.
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Hide your intelligence. People don’t like it when they think they’re not as smart as someone else, and react with hostility. Don’t raise your hand in class, get things wrong if they don’t matter, do not go above and beyond on anything, get decent but not perfect grades, keep your trap shut in school.
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Looks are the only thing that really matter. Life is very different for the unattractive, and not in a good way. No one cares if you’re funny, confident, well-read, or friendly if you’re ugly, they’ll never get close enough to you to see anything else. If you don’t make yourself attractive somehow, you’re going to spend your life completely alone. And that sucks, trust me.
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Friends & girlfriends are only there for you until something better comes along. People will lie to you, abandon you, take from you, cheat on you, and fuck you right the hell over should the opportunity arise. Finding someone you can really trust is damn near impossible.
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People you work for do not care about you any further than it takes to get you to work. Companies are only interested in money, and if they think they can make one more cent by firing you, your job lasts as long as it takes to write the email. While they expect perfect loyalty from you, they have absolutely no loyalty whatsoever to you.
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Your foot is going to hurt for the rest of your life. You’re going to need more surgery just on that foot than the entire rest of your family will ever have. Painkillers will do very little, and it’s going to get worse as time goes by. Also, lemmie tell you about your knee, your shoulder, the back of your neck, your armpits, and your back. Get in shape and stay in shape, and maybe you can avoid some of this.
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Here’s a list of people you should avoid like the plague: 19 names
Oh, man. I gotta quibble.
I teach third grade, and the popularity distribution among the smart kids is similar to that among the, uh, struggling kids. People don’t mind intelligence; they mind arrogance. If you’re friendly to everyone and don’t trumpet how smart you are, but simply solve problems accurately and creatively, it doesn’t lead to unpopularity. If I were advising my own third-grade self, I’d tell him about arrogance, not about hiding intelligence.
This really isn’t true, as any stand-up comedian can tell you. Yes, you have to make yourself attractive somehow, but looks aren’t the only way to do it. Of course, if you neglect hygiene and grooming, that’ll count against you; if I were advising my third grade self, I’d tell him that hygiene and grooming count.
Nonsense. I mean, I’m sorry you’ve had such troubles in your life, but instead of giving this terrible advice, maybe give some advice on how to create and nurture real friendships instead of doing what you’ve done to attract such superficial ones. Yes, some people will betray your trust, but others won’t; the goal is to find the latter category, and no, it’s not anywhere close to impossible.
I wouldn’t consider going back to do something as major of killing Hitler as that would undoubtedly change history to the point that I would cease to exist.
Instead I would head back to the start my Freshman year of college with 20 years worth of weekly stock reports, and the following instructions.
- In 17 years you are going to marry that cute girl who lives down the hall. She really likes you and you could save everyone a whole lot of pain and suffering if you got together with her soon. Just be careful not to scare her off.
- In the year 2000 Dade county Florida election officials will put together a confusing ballot for the presidential election. Using whatever means at your disposal do not allow them to use the ballot. From the Ballot there must be no confusion as to how to vote.
- Here is the a printout of a encyclopedia (wikipedia) article on a terrorist attack on September 11th 2001. Since hopefully Gore is safely in the white house at this point history may go differently but just in case do what you can to prevent this.
- Here are a number of other natural disasters that are going to Occur, if you have become influential enough to mitigate their effects do your best to do so.
Wouldn’t Freshman you think future you was some kinda nut?
Mine works: Go back to Monterrey, CA on August 8 1992 and tell myself I done good, do not look back, stop communicating with her and by all that’s holy Never Marry Her. Even back then I’d be open to that suggestion. I could give me a pretty good synopsis of the last 20 years to drive the point home.
Then I’d let me know debon err’s whereabouts in June of 2008 so I could still meet up with her.
And of course, AMZN and MSFT.
You can start calling me genius from now on.
Well, considering I’ve already created a time paradox, anything is worth a try!
But for the sake of discussion let’s say I pick Nikola Tesla- not based totally on the applicability of his skills so much as on his likelihood to believe me (would’ve been right up his alley, if you ask me). I bring some convincing evidence with me in case he decides to convince other scientisty types, and for no other reason.
Not saying it’s perfect. But it’s better than nothing.