# You can help Jeremy the Snail Get Laid. Or you can go to the next thread. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797 "2016-10-26T19:07:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/1 "2016-10-26T19:07:03Z")
> **[Jeremy The Snail Desperately Needs A Date, And You Can Help](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/snail-needs-date-snail-love_n_5810d01ae4b001e247df9213)** > > If you find a promising mate, use the hashtag #SnailLove. > [@](#): > > If only there were an online dating site like Tinder or OkCupid for snails. Then Jeremy, a very unusual snail found in an English garden, might have a better chance of finding love. > > The mollusk is rare — a one-in-a-million discovery — and his chances of finding a mate will be slim, researchers said. That’s because a genetic anomaly has led Jeremy, a garden snail (Cornu aspersum), to develop a shell that coils to the left, known as a sinistral spiral. > Most snails have right-spiraling, or dextral, shells, said Angus Davison, an associate professor and reader in evolutionary genetics at the University of Nottingham’s School of Life Sciences in the United Kingdom. Davison, who has studied the snail, said that unfortunately for Jeremy, his sinistral shell means that his genitals are on the opposite side of his body compared with most garden snails, making it very difficult for him to mate with dextral snails. > > … > … > … > > Davison is trying to help Jeremy find a romantic partner. > > “Snails are hermaphrodites, meaning that if they want to, they can reproduce on their own without the need for another mate,” Davison said. “However, they don’t really like doing this, and from our perspective, the genetic data from offspring of two lefty snails would be far richer and more valuable to us.” > > So Jeremy’s human champion has turned to Twitter, and is asking people to help the lefty find love. Davison encouraged people either to use the Twitter hashtag #SnailLove or to email him at [angus.davison@nottingham.ac.uk](mailto:angus.davison@nottingham.ac.uk) to share promising news about potential mates. > > Jeremy’s left-spiraled sweetie could be anywhere, but Davison recommended searching potted plants or among shrubs that border roads or fields, where these snails are known to live. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/2 "2016-10-26T19:27:23Z")
Sounds like they need to teach Jeremy “snail 69”. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/3 "2016-10-26T19:42:20Z")
Wouldn’t that be “snail 96” in his case? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/4 "2016-10-26T20:10:35Z")
Ah, tell Jeremy to go fuck himself. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/5 "2016-10-26T20:17:19Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > Ah, tell Jeremy to go fuck himself. I’m sure that Davison, and possibly Jeremy, want to promote as much genetic diversity as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2016, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/6 "2016-10-26T21:07:00Z")
Oh great, even snails are getting more action than I am. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2016, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/7 "2016-10-27T00:23:08Z")
And if all else fails, there’s drawn butter and a crusty loaf waiting. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2016, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/8 "2016-10-27T01:37:53Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Oh great, even snails are getting more action than I am. You would think a _Robot Arm_ would give you all the satisfaction you could stand! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2016, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/9 "2016-11-02T05:56:45Z")
For those who wish to know more about Jeremy, and even to see him, watch the latest episode of _No Such Thing As the News_. (Available [here](https://youtu.be/oCmcrhmvsBk?t=7m40s), indexed to the segment on Jeremy.) NSTAtN is a recap of humorous or unusual news stories hosted by four of the “elves” from the show _QI_. > [@Gatopescado](#): > > You would think a _Robot Arm_ would give you all the satisfaction you could stand! 😃 It’s not as much fun as it sounds. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2016, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/10 "2016-11-02T16:03:47Z")
Is this thread one of the “docking” ads that Ed was mentioning? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2016, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/11 "2016-11-03T01:26:01Z")
This makes me think of the first Straight Dope column I ever read, about whether male pigs have corkscrew shaped penises. [Does a pig have a corkscrew-shaped penis? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/50/does-a-pig-have-a-corkscrew-shaped-penis) My favorite paragraph: _Much remains to be learned about pig reproductive physiology. For instance, it’s unclear whether the male pig, in the midst of his amatory labors, employs a clockwise or a counterclockwise rotation. It may be that pigs come in both versions, as with right- and left-handed humans. We can only guess at the life of heartache and misery that must await the little Porky equipped with a left-handed tool in a world of right-handed Petunias._ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/12 "2016-11-11T16:54:30Z")
Update: [Good news](http://mashable.com/2016/11/10/jeremy-the-snail-love/?utm_cid=mash-com-Tw-main-link#Si8BIkppwSqt) for Jeremy! ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2016, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/13 "2016-11-11T18:21:05Z")
How will they transport the Spanish snail to him? First class plane ticket or just in SCargo? ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2016, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/14 "2016-11-11T20:08:04Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > How will they transport the Spanish snail to him? First class plane ticket or just in SCargo? I don’t know whether to groan or applaud. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2016, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/15 "2016-11-11T20:25:22Z")
I reiterate post #6. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2016, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/16 "2016-11-11T21:05:35Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Update: [Good news](http://mashable.com/2016/11/10/jeremy-the-snail-love/?utm_cid=mash-com-Tw-main-link#Si8BIkppwSqt) for Jeremy! From the linked article: > [@](#): > > Davison told NPR that the two have been gently biting each other (the snail version of flirting), but they have yet to mate. Huh. That’s how Klingons flirt. Not to mention Pepper Mill. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 11, 2016, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/17 "2016-11-11T21:18:29Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Huh. That’s how Klingons flirt. Don’t forget the nasty tea, the reading of poetry, and the female throwing heavy objects. ---
**Author:** ![X.L.Lent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/a5b964/32.png) [@X.L.Lent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X.L.Lent)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2016, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/18 "2016-11-12T07:21:18Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > How will they transport the Spanish snail to him? First class plane ticket or just in SCargo? They will use snail mail. ---
**Author:** ![tim314](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim314/32/3468_2.png) [@tim314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim314)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/19 "2017-10-16T04:50:27Z")
Jeremy’s story had a few more twists, but I think this counts as a happy ending: [Jeremy, The Lonely, Left-Twisting Snail, Dies — But Knows Love Before The End](http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/10/13/557652159/jeremy-the-lonely-left-twisting-snail-dies-but-knows-love-before-the-end) Also, if you like the story you’ll love the musical: [The Tragical Ballad of Jeremy the Left Twisting Snail](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDZmxfZfRWY) [The Tragical ballad of Jeremy Part 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K5wm3eiM7BQ) ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797/20 "2017-10-16T06:13:49Z")
Well, not the ending I was expecting, but considering the title of the thread and that at the time the next thread was called [“Sammy Hagar is 70!!!”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=838900) I’ll take it cause romantic snails are more interesting than Sammy Hagar any day. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-help-jeremy-the-snail-get-laid-or-you-can-go-to-the-next-thread/769797.md?page=2)