# You Can Join the Undead. Which kind? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793 "2011-05-13T16:47:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/41 "2011-05-13T20:14:32Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Vampire is clearly the best choice. You get to be a snappy dresser. The downside is that you’ll never get to see how awesome you look. An important point, and one often overlooked. The lesson being, if you have any plans to become a vampire, you need to start practising tying that bow-tie _now_. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/42 "2011-05-13T20:15:53Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Anyway, it’s kinda hard to choose against vampire, they’re the only ones that can really “pass” and still keep up a relatively normal human existence (if they so choose). Assuming “Highlander Immortal” doesn’t actually qualify as undead, anyway. Meh. A lich with enough Polymorph or Alter Self spells can pass as well as a vamp \*and \*walk around in daylight. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/43 "2011-05-13T20:18:44Z")
> [@WotNot](#): > > An important point, and one often overlooked. The lesson being, if you have any plans to become a vampire, you need to start practising tying that bow-tie _now_. I’m on it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/44 "2011-05-13T20:29:32Z")
I’m thinking maybe baelnorn. I was looking at animus but you’ve got that disease vulnerability. Or maybe crossover into SF and go with cyborg. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/45 "2011-05-13T20:33:08Z")
My soul isn’t going anywhere because it doesn’t exist. But if it hypothetically did, I don’t want to be undead, a vampire, or immortal. I want to die when I die and stay dead. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/46 "2011-05-13T23:07:35Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I didn’t see anything that looks like what I would choose, which would be a Deadman-style ghost. I was thinking you were referring to National Lampoon’s [Deadman](http://tytempletonart.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/deadman-cover.jpg), who was literally just a corpse. His “sidekick” would drop [Deadman](http://tytempletonart.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/deadman-interior-pages.jpg) on criminals. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/47 "2011-05-13T23:11:52Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Vampire is clearly the best choice. You get to be a snappy dresser. The downside is that you’ll never get to see how awesome you look. While looking in the mirror is no longer an option, the legend says nothing about using a web cam. Suck it, legend. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/48 "2011-05-13T23:28:44Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > Vampires get chicks, lots of chicks. > > Hell, even fake vampires get chicks, look at the Twilight fans. In many mythos, vampires can’t get it up. But I guess feeding gives them such ecstasy. Or something. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/49 "2011-05-13T23:56:15Z")
Sapience is a must. Corporeality preferable to otherwise. Human appearance is a bonus. So, vampire is choice one, lich is ok, and ghost or spectre is ok, but not ideal. The vampire’s need to feed on human blood is easily accommodated with a mortal friend or two. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/50 "2011-05-14T00:37:52Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > The vampire’s need to feed on human blood is easily accommodated with a mortal friend or two. But after your insatiable bloodlust sucks them dry, what then? ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/51 "2011-05-14T00:55:22Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Highlander immortal. I’d say “Highlander, too”, but that didn’t happen. I voted spectre, but that’s assuming that I get to haunt a library and read all the books. If you’re going to say I can’t turn the pages, then I’ll have to find another choice. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/52 "2011-05-14T02:39:01Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > But after your insatiable bloodlust sucks them dry, what then? I wonder how I ended up as something OTHER than a vampire, because that’s not actually how it works except in crap horror that’s trying to ‘return’ vampires to something they’ve never actually been. Mythological vampires, the formative literature vampires - they all feed lightly, at worst taking enough to give the victim the symptoms of a wasting disease. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/53 "2011-05-14T03:21:39Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > Being an ephemeral spectre is the best option - you can go wherever you please, day or night, and your existence is not dependent on a food/energy source (a la zombies, ghouls, vampires, etc.). You have your choice of what reaction you want to get out of the living: you can scare them, intrigue them, enlighten them, whatever. Sorry, no. Ephemereal means no eating and no sexing, for eternity. Unlife, what’s it good for ? Nah, smart money’s on the ghouling. You get to meet interesting people from ancient cultures, and eat them. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/54 "2011-05-14T04:08:36Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > My soul isn’t going anywhere because it doesn’t exist. But if it hypothetically did, I don’t want to be undead, a vampire, or immortal. I want to die when I die and stay dead. Not necessarily an option with a bunch of liches wandering about looking for recruits into their undead hordes… ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/55 "2011-05-14T08:50:07Z")
I was going to say vampire, but you guys have convinced me that a lich is better. Furthermore, I get a phylactery that I can protect pretty easily, rather than worrying about some kung-fu girl with a stake. EDIT: Technically I’d probably pick the penultimate option, but that’s no fun in a poll like this. ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/56 "2011-05-14T20:29:27Z")
> [@thelurkinghorror](#): > > In many mythos, vampires can’t get it up. But I guess feeding gives them such ecstasy. Or something. Thanks. I had it all worked out. And shit. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/57 "2011-05-14T22:24:47Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > EDIT: Technically I’d probably pick the penultimate option, but that’s no fun in a poll like this. I wouldn’t. At least you have a fair idea what being a lich or vampire entails - you can’t say that of some unspecified afterlife. Maybe you’ll go to some paradisaical afterlife - or maybe your soul will get gnawed on eternally by eldritch abominations. For that matter, that choice is "Forget it, my immortal soul is heading to heaven/Valhalla/hell/somewhere not earth "; it would be just like the typical wish-granter to send your soul to all those places at once. Heaven probably isn’t as much fun when it’s just your upper torso there… ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/58 "2011-05-14T22:36:23Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > For that matter, that choice is "Forget it, my immortal soul is heading to heaven/Valhalla/hell/somewhere not earth "; it would be just like the typical wish-granter to send your soul to all those places at once. Heaven probably isn’t as much fun when it’s just your upper torso there… 😃 Der Trihs seems to know me well. A little … too well. Lecherous ghoul for you! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/59 "2011-05-14T23:27:46Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Meh. A lich with enough Polymorph or Alter Self spells can pass as well as a vamp \*and \*walk around in daylight. Shapechange + Permanency. Be anything you want, at will, forever. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/60 "2011-05-14T23:59:46Z")
If I’m a lich can I use the Stanley Cup as my Phylactery? Cause that would just be awesome. (There would of course be an end to Babies peeing in it) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793.md?page=4)