# You Can Join the Undead. Which kind? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2011, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793 "2011-05-13T16:47:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/81 "2011-05-17T22:09:09Z")
Vamps are the only ones not rotting horribly. Except ghosts. “I ain’t got no bod-eee!” And Karloff’s Mummy. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/82 "2011-05-17T22:36:17Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Meh. A lich with enough Polymorph or Alter Self spells can pass as well as a vamp \*and \*walk around in daylight. Depending on which version of the vampire, many of them walk around in daylight either just because the whole daylight burning them up thing is bunk or because they have some special doodad that keeps them safe. Or they just wear sunblock. As for the lich, if you gotta use spells to pass, meh. You still know you really look like something the Crypt Keeper would saw his arm off to get away from after a night of drunken regret. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/83 "2011-05-18T00:04:29Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > As for the lich, if you gotta use spells to pass, meh. You still know you really look like something the Crypt Keeper would saw his arm off to get away from after a night of drunken regret. Maybe, but then you could re-re-animate the arm and send it after the Crypt Keeper to kill him. That’s why I chose lich. May not have the looks, but chicks dig power. I wonder if you still feel the pleasure with a polymorph spell… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/84 "2011-05-18T00:35:42Z")
Are we using the D&D definition of a lich, or the Wikipedia one? “Like a zombie, but intelligent” is okay with me (under certain conditions\*). “Evil walking skeleton” is… not. \*Those certain conditions being what happens when you’ve been a zombie for a while. Does your body continue to rot? Does it regenerate? Something in between? Though if you’re on good terms with the D&D lich, maybe you can just have him whip up a periodic spell of renewal for you. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/85 "2011-05-18T02:15:28Z")
> [@D\_Odds](#): > > Aren’t you already a lawyer?\* Yeah, but my alignment is Chaotic Good. Ironic, isn’t it? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/86 "2011-05-18T02:44:12Z")
Being Hungarian, and due to the fact that my family came from Transylvania, I’ve always had a certain fondness for the Bela Lugosi style vampire. Plus, I look damn good in fancy dress and an opera cape. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/87 "2011-05-18T03:27:11Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Yeah, but my alignment is Chaotic Good. Ironic, isn’t it? > 😛 Delusional is one of the many fine qualities commonly associated with lawyers. 🆒 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jaguars](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaguars/32/5879_2.png) [@Jaguars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaguars)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/88 "2011-05-18T04:58:28Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > I chose wrathful wraith. You know, for the wrath. I chose lecherous ghoul. You know, for the lech. And mainly cause I didn’t read half the poll choices. > [@Knorf](#): > > … > > Speaking of which, yeah, the SDMB is apparently going to create quite a battalion of liches and vampires. > > Where are you lot going to get the skeleton, mummy, and zombie minions you need? Good Employee’s market. I’ll be able to name my price. All I require is a women’s locker room to haunt! (Apparently.) ---
**Author:** ![Maiira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/89 "2011-05-18T05:09:43Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Vampire. The only thing I’d worry about is being arrested. How would I escape? They only let prisoners out in the yard in the daytime, so how am I going to fly away as a bat? Maybe transfix the guard and make him unlock my cell? Just blood-suck everyone that comes my way and walk right out? > > I guess I’d have to relocate every five years or so so that no one catches on that everywhere I go, pretty young things start dropping like flies. Well, you’d also have the staking/beheading/extreme skin cancer thing to worry about. As for me, hmm. Vampire is tempting, but the extreme skin cancer thing would sorta suck. On the other hand, no one would mess with me. That, and I’d have the eternal sexy. To avoid undue unpleasantness re: feeding, I’d probably take the night shift at a blood bank. Or hang out near hospitals. Or get formal training as a phlebotomist and find someone to be a willing donor (because I’m sure as shit they exist). Craigslist, here I come! ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/90 "2011-05-18T10:32:01Z")
If you became a skeleton you could have enormous fun sneaking into medical school classrooms, replacing the inanimate skeleton they have and then suddenly coming to life and doing a tap dance routine during class. Okay, it’d be fun _once_, but a great gag nonetheless. Sadly, it’s too late to get a job as a Harryhausen model. Maybe you could write a _Sinbad_ remake script to drum up some work. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/91 "2011-05-18T10:50:48Z")
Speaking of Valhalla, do einherjar (I do hope I spelled that right) count as undead? I understand they didn’t traditionally take chicks, but maybe it’s time to introduce Wotan to the wonders of trout Navarrese-style, Tudela menestra, Vizcaya-style and Bilbao-style cod… (what? The way to a man’s heart goes through his stomach and those Aesir are said to be as dangerous at a table as on a battlefield!) ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/92 "2011-05-18T15:48:00Z")
> [@Maiira](#): > > To avoid undue unpleasantness re: feeding, I’d probably take the night shift at a blood bank. Or hang out near hospitals. Or get formal training as a phlebotomist and find someone to be a willing donor (because I’m sure as shit they exist). Craigslist, here I come! Pffttt… spend fifteen seconds wherever the goth chickies hang out and you’ll have a stack of applications that’ll take you a month to get through. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/93 "2011-05-19T01:07:01Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > However, if I have to be some form of undead, I’m going with lich. … I’d get a really cool lair in some out of the way location, with lots of minions and mini-bosses to deal with the inevitable raids… Just don’t forget to get a big scary wall-mounted mask with a sphere of annihilation in the mouth – those never go out of style. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/94 "2011-05-19T01:59:18Z")
> [@Apollyon](#): > > Just don’t forget to get a big scary wall-mounted mask with a sphere of annihilation in the mouth – those never go out of style. 🆒 You’re thinking of a _demi_-lich, which wasn’t one of the options. 😛 Might not be such a bad choice, though. You get to spend most of your time gadding about the multiverse as a spirit, presumably forming bodies to match whatever place you visit. When you come home, on the other hand, you’re just a skull with bling for teeth. Maybe you could moonlight as a rapper between snacking on souls. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/95 "2011-05-19T05:20:26Z")
Ah, I am glad to see someone finally selected “skeleton.” We still need mummies, though. Anyone? Mummy? Mmmmmmmmmmummy? ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/96 "2011-05-19T08:00:24Z")
I like the idea of being a wraith. Does a banshee fall under wraith? I’m pretty good at screaming. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/97 "2011-05-19T08:25:25Z")
a werewolf is not undead but would have been my second choice after vampire. love to turn into one when i’m inside some country or embassy. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/98 "2011-05-19T16:29:56Z")
A very interesting question, but I’m still undecided as to what I’d be. The lich is popular for obvious reasons; but in order to become a lich, wouldn’t you have to have been a very powerful and successful person in life? For me personally, the avenger aspect is missing. **Gyrate,** I’m sure a tap-dancing skeleton would make everyone in the room pee themselves, if not faint. :eek: I find skeletons and mummies to be the scariest because they actually exist. That’s a no-brainer I know, and those sets of remains aren’t sentinent and don’t walk around, but still, they exist, if only laying there and looking horrible. And reminding us… Alright, ghosts. I’m generally very skeptic when it comes to the paranormal, but I believe there is a tiny possibility that something such as ghosts might exist. (I still have strong doubts though.) The avenging and unfinished-task mentalities often attributed to ghosts appeal to me on some level. Lich sounds appealing but too perfect in some way. Mummies and skeletons certainly have something about them, but I think i’d go for ghost. Or possibly wraith. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/99 "2011-05-19T16:36:44Z")
> [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](#): > > **Gyrate,** I’m sure a tap-dancing skeleton would make everyone in the room pee themselves, if not faint. :eek: Exactly! What’s not to love about that? ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2011, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793/100 "2011-05-19T16:53:05Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > I like the idea of being a wraith. Does a banshee fall under wraith? I’m pretty good at screaming. I’d say it does. A wrathful sub-category. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-join-the-undead-which-kind/581793.md?page=6)