# You can take your name-dropping and shove it right up your rectum. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 18, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269 "2006-08-18T19:44:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/1 "2006-08-18T19:44:22Z")
Here’s the fact: the world is sick and tired of hearing you name-drop. The fact of the matter is, you are not on a first-name basis with the people you pretend to be. And even if you were, you’re fully aware that those who you are speaking to now AREN’T. So don’t, when speaking about, say, Bill Gates, tell people: “So Billy and I were at the party and I’d say something and he’d laugh and laugh…” He isn’t “Billy” to you. Unless he knows your phone number and USES IT to contact you SOCIALLY, he is not fucking “Billy” to you. Do you understand? If you want to talk about something that happened that time when you pushed your way over to him at a party and proceeded to follow him around and regale him with your stories (much to his dismay, I’m sure) then do so the way normal human beings do. “I was speaking to Bill Gates and…” etc. He’s not “Billy” to me, and he sure as shit isn’t “Billy” to you, and we both goddamn well know it. One would think that you are smart enough to realize that name dropping is an annoying and incredibly rude habit, and if you don’t, I’d like to inform you now that IT’S REALLY ANNOYING AND RUDE. You may have worked with these people, and they may have laughed at one of your jokes in that setting, but the fact is, you’re being a rude prick when you name drop, and unfortunately, people really, really dislike you for it. And I’m sick and tired of trying to gently teach you social graces. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/2 "2006-08-18T19:50:02Z")
Word. Melinda confided in me that this pisses her off to no end. ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/3 "2006-08-18T19:52:25Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Word. Melinda confided in me that this pisses her off to no end. She lets me call her “Mel”. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/4 "2006-08-18T19:55:01Z")
It’s “Mindy” to those of us who are part of the “In-crowd.” ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/5 "2006-08-18T20:06:45Z")
You’re of course referring to Honey Dumplings, right? ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/6 "2006-08-18T20:10:41Z")
It’s sweet tits, even Gibsey agrees on that. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/7 "2006-08-18T20:13:56Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > You’re of course referring to Honey Dumplings, right? btw- That ‘Honey Dumplings’? They are real and they are Magnificent…! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/8 "2006-08-18T20:14:23Z")
Is that that blonde chick I always refer to as “you”, as in “Hey, you, get me another scotch”? That’s B’s _wife_? Whoda thunk? ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/9 "2006-08-18T20:15:16Z")
My Hubby was once at a party with Alice Cooper. I’m going to tell him to start mentioning it randomly and refering to Cooper as “Allie.” ---
**Author:** ![Roonwit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Roonwit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roonwit)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/10 "2006-08-18T20:24:24Z")
If your power goes out, it’s _really_ not necessary for you to tell me that you know the GM of my company before I’ll send someone out to your house to fix it. One day, the GM stops by my office and says “Hey Roon, how’s it goin’?” ('Cause we’re tight like that.) I said “Y’know, it must be cool to have as many ‘friends’ as you do. Do they all send you Christmas gifts?” He just rolled his eyes and sighed. “They’re probably those same people who call me and tell me that they’re friends with the Commissioners…” Honestly people, I’m not the least bit impressed. You know my boss? Big fuckin’ whoop. So do I…and he’s not impressed, either. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/11 "2006-08-18T20:38:27Z")
Funny you should mention that, I was just talking with Mel the other night over a cocktail or three, and right out of the blue he said I was his bestest friend in the while wide world. He also said I had the prettiest man titties he’d ever seen, and he’s seen plenty! He also said Jews don’t drink scotch which I know is not altogether true, so maybe I should take his appraisal of my sweet, hard, hairy man tits with a big grain of salt. That Mel! ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/12 "2006-08-18T20:51:48Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > My Hubby was once at a party with Alice Cooper. Did your husband go to a party **with** Alice Cooper, or did he attend a party independent of Alice Cooper, who just happened to be there? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/13 "2006-08-18T20:53:44Z")
I call him Willy Gates, but then again I don’t care much for Microsoft. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/14 "2006-08-18T20:55:22Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > You’re of course referring to Honey Dumplings, right? Hey waitaminute. You mean Carly Fiorina makes _you_ call her that, too??!! ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/15 "2006-08-18T21:06:54Z")
> [@Carlyjay](#): > > You may have worked with these people, and they may have laughed at one of your jokes in that setting, but the fact is, you’re being a rude prick when you name drop, and unfortunately, people really, really dislike you for it. And I’m sick and tired of trying to gently teach you social graces. I know! Just last week I was having some drinks with Bobby DeNiro, he’s all “Ben Stiller this… Billy Crystal that…” WTF, dude, I’m like “You’re not friends with these people, you just work with them.” No wonder nobody returns his calls. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/16 "2006-08-18T21:07:56Z")
Look, I’m sorry if my exceedingly close relationship with **Billy Gates** offends you, but as I was saying to my good buddy **Jack Nicholson** the other day, “ **J-dawg** , it sure must suck to be one of the little people.” Then **Big Nic** says, “I wouldn’t know, **vibro**!” We all had a good laugh and hopped in his **Porsche Cayenne** and drove down to Malibu to see **Angelina Jolie** and **Brad Pitt** , because **George Clooney** (did I mention the **G-Unit** was there?) said they had some really good X. And did they ever! Two words, baby: blue dolphin! The next thing I know we were all rolling like trains! **Angie** was so lit, she breast fed me. And since her breastmilk was just lousy with **MDMA** , things just got weirder from there. I looked up from her perfect, swollen tit just in time to see **Clonney** , **Jack** and **Jamie Foxx** playing **Uno** and freebasing **Kevin Bacon** ’s special blend of cocaine, GHB and **Paxil**. “Hey, gimmie some of that!” I yelled, as a little dribble of **Angie** ’s breast milk escaped my lips. So me and **Jolie** , who was, of course, totallly nude, crawled over to the couch, stopping off along to way to briefly make out and get our champagne flutes topped off with **Cristal** by **Wynona Ryder** , who was playing bartender, as usual. Naturally, she had to get in on our little make-out session too, but do you hear me complaining? (Just between us, she’s a biter. I think it’s kind of hot, but **Angie** ’s tits were a little tender still, so she wasn’t really into it and they got into a tickle fight.) Finally, after what seemed like an hour we all made it to the couch and got our base on. “Damn, **Kev-Bo**!” **Angie** said. “This stuff’s got a kick to it!” Then she proceeded to tell all of us how **Paris Hilton** never existed, and that she’s actually just an android built by rouge **DARPA** scientists in the employ of **Warren Buffet**. **Brad** had heard that one before. “Honey, you always get so paranoid when you’re lactating!” They were about to get into it (and if you’ve seen **Mr. and Mrs. Smith** , you know they fight dirty) when we heard a really loud motorcycle in the back yard. Turns out **Prince** and **Samuel L. Jackson** were racing their **Harley Davidson** s, and **Sammy** accidentally ended up in the pool! We all had a good laugh. **SJ** was a little put out, but we got him some dry clothes (you can’t tell him I told you this, but he’s got the same inseam size as **The Pitts**!) and a big blunt of **BC Bud** , and he chilled right out. So then **His Purple Badness** says, “Do you mind if I call some friends?” And I’m like “Hey **Your Highness** , ask **Brad and Angie** , it’s not my house!” So he gets on the celly and a few minutes later **Uma Thurman** , **Lucy Lu** , and **Daryl Hannah** show up. They had a really good night at **The Luxor Casino and Resort** ’s craps table the night before, so they gave us all **Toyota Priuses** wrapped in big pink bows. The last thing I remember is laying in the back seat of mine huffing amyl nitrate and talking on the phone with **Bill Gates** while **Gwen Stephani** gave me a foot job. Good thing it was a long weekend! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/17 "2006-08-18T21:20:41Z")
> [@Lissa](#): > > My Hubby was once at a party with Alice Cooper. I’m going to tell him to start mentioning it randomly and refering to Cooper as “Allie.” Party with Alice Cooper? We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy! [/Wayne and Garth] ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/18 "2006-08-18T21:57:55Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > Hey waitaminute. You mean Carly Fiorina makes _you_ call her that, too??!! Yeah, but in the bedroom she makes me yell “Dude, you’re getting a Dell” over and over… ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/19 "2006-08-18T22:07:51Z")
> [@Roonwit](#): > > If your power goes out, it’s _really_ not necessary for you to tell me that you know the GM of my company before I’ll send someone out to your house to fix it. > > One day, the GM stops by my office and says “Hey Roon, how’s it goin’?” ('Cause we’re tight like that.) > > I said “Y’know, it must be cool to have as many ‘friends’ as you do. Do they all send you Christmas gifts?” > > He just rolled his eyes and sighed. “They’re probably those same people who call me and tell me that they’re friends with the Commissioners…” > > Honestly people, I’m not the least bit impressed. You know my boss? Big fuckin’ whoop. So do I…and he’s not impressed, either. Back when I was slaving in retail, one of by jobs was at Frank’s Nursery and Crafts. When I was at the store in _nouveau riche_ Birmingham, (MI, not AL), I had frequent encounters with irate customers threatening to tell their good friend. Mr. Frank, about my boorish behavior in not refunding their money for items returned without a receipt that had been clearly trampled in their driveways. I never quite had the heart to tell them that Frank (first name, not family name) had died many years before I joined the company. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2006, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269/20 "2006-08-18T22:23:04Z")
Y’know, your mother mentioned you might complain about name dropping the last time I was fucking her. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-name-dropping-and-shove-it-right-up-your-rectum/369269.md?page=2)