# You can take your thumb out of my ass anytime now **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2007, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185 "2007-02-14T13:27:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/21 "2007-02-15T00:38:33Z")
I’m female, so I’ve never had a prostate exam, but I have had various illnesses that have warranted similar exams. The last time I had one done, the doctor said _while she was doing it_, “Well, this all feels quite normal.” I couldn’t help it—I burst out laughing and said, “Well, maybe to _you_.” She laughed, too, but turned a few shades of red and purple. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/22 "2007-02-15T03:20:30Z")
[QUOTE=glee] …and all the air came out in a fart lasting nearly a minute. :smack: [/QUOTE] When I had mine done they never mentioned the air, and I was too loopy from the anesthesia to notice what they were doing. After I left, I started feeling some pain in my abdomen that got worse over the next couple of hours. I left work early and went home thinking they had scratched my intestine with the camera. I was laying on the couch at home wondering if I would have to call an ambulance when all of a sudden, _“PHHHHHHHHBBBBBTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”_ Oh, _that’s_ what that was! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/23 "2007-02-15T04:57:32Z")
[QUOTE=glee] …and all the air came out in a fart lasting nearly a minute. [/quote] [QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] Y’know, you should have asked her out after that. OR given a minute’s duration, maybe _during_. _That_ would be some serious cojones. I’d wager you might have gotten lucky. [/QUOTE] That’s true. 🆒 I think I missed my chance from a combination of: - relief from the pressure - English embarrassment at farting in front of a lady (why, was it her turn?! 😃 ) - the fact I was partly undressed / lying face down / under orders from women in uniform. Actually, skip that last reason… :o ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/24 "2007-02-15T08:05:19Z")
[QUOTE=Unauthorized Cinnamon] Mr. Cinnamon was quite relieved when I told him recently what’s involved in a prostate exam. From all the fuss men make, and the area involved, he’d assumed it involved snaking some device up the urethra. When I corrected him, we was like, “Oh, is that all?” [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Antinor01] It does help when you look at it that way. [/QUOTE] Don’t ever show him how they do a partial prostatectomy. A clue… It involves a laser :eek: Shoved up the urethra :eek: :eek: And it isn’t miniaturised equipment :eek: :eek: :eek: The first time I saw the video I could not believe how big the rod was (and I am talking about the metal thing they shove inside). I’ll put up with low pressure pee thank you very much. This is a technique used to deal with enlarged prostates that are non-cancerous, and is less invasive than a full prostatectomy (but I can’t imagine how) Si ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/25 "2007-02-15T13:14:31Z")
[QUOTE=ScareyFaerie] Is that a deliberate typo, or did you just take it lying down? [/QUOTE] It was indeed a prostrate prostate exam. What, are you supposed to stand up like a man? ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/26 "2007-02-15T13:38:14Z")
[QUOTE=TokyoPlayer] It was indeed a prostrate prostate exam. What, are you supposed to stand up like a man? [/QUOTE] I’m not a man, how would I know? I’d ask around the office but we’re a little short on guys round here. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/27 "2007-02-15T14:04:53Z")
[QUOTE=KidScruffy] “I don’t have any.” “No children?” “No elephant books.” [/QUOTE] “Using the whole fist, doc?” Great movie. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2007, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/28 "2007-02-15T18:12:17Z")
The first time I remember having that kind of exam was a few days prior to surgery that was to remove five pilonidal cysts from area around the base of my spine. As I “assumed the position”, I clearly recall seeing some, well, _unorthodox_ posters hanging on the wall of the examination room. The first was undoubtedly thought of as keenly witty down in the Nephrology Clinic. It said “I love you with all my kidney.” The second was a kind of sign I had seen frequently in this and other Army hospitals. It showed one stick figure beckoning enthusiastically to another, who was extending its arms in a “keep back” pose. In large letters it proclaimed “Sexual harassment is forbidden.” The last word had been crossed out with a marker, though, and the word “exciting” was scrawled in as a replacement. Just the sort of thing you want to see when some guy who doesn’t exactly make your heart sing is using your body as a finger puppet. ---
**Author:** ![TPWombat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbce88/32.png) [@TPWombat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TPWombat)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/29 "2007-02-16T02:10:02Z")
[QUOTE=Sublight] I was laying on the couch at home wondering if I would have to call an ambulance when all of a sudden, _“PHHHHHHHHBBBBBTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”_ Oh, _that’s_ what that was! [/QUOTE] Good job you don’t smoke. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/30 "2007-02-16T02:16:43Z")
I enjoy doing prostate exams about as much as you enjoy getting them done. Not my idea of fun to shove my finger up someone’s ass. It would help me out a lot if you’d all make finger puppet noises. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/31 "2007-02-16T11:12:10Z")
Think that’s bad? When I was 18, I had a Q-tip each stuck up my rear and then one up the other end–yes, in both “out” holes–for $50. (It was part of a (legitimate, academic) study at a major university.) Best part: Donating sperm to science (at home, that is, away from the Q-tip-lookin’ things). Worst part: Giving the urine sample right after the, well, you know. I felt that one for days. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/32 "2007-02-16T11:59:29Z")
I had to get my nuts sonared once. That wasn’t very uncomfortable, but the lube was pretty cold and it took quite a while. Whatever it is they use, it doesn’t clean up with great ease either. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/33 "2007-02-16T13:47:46Z")
I had an exam up there that took a couple minutes, and the Dr. started chatting, like it’s going to distract me or something. He asked me if I had any hobbies, anything I especially enjoyed doing. I said I really enjoyed not inserting things into my anus. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/34 "2007-02-16T16:29:25Z")
[QUOTE=si\_blakely] Don’t ever show him how they do a partial prostatectomy. A clue… It involves a laser :eek: Shoved up the urethra :eek: :eek: And it isn’t miniaturised equipment :eek: :eek: :eek: The first time I saw the video I could not believe how big the rod was (and I am talking about the metal thing they shove inside). I’ll put up with low pressure pee thank you very much. This is a technique used to deal with enlarged prostates that are non-cancerous, and is less invasive than a full prostatectomy (but I can’t imagine how)Si [/QUOTE] Heh. Not only have I had all the normal girlie exams, but I’ve had my urethra dilated, so I still don’t have too much sympathy. Contrary to what one might expect, urethra dilation doesn’t involve some neat drugs like dilating your irises does. They just come at you with a thick metal rod with a tapered end. I won’t forget that experience soon. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/35 "2007-02-16T16:43:45Z")
But did it also cure your hiccups? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/36 "2007-02-16T19:12:52Z")
[QUOTE=sturmhauke] I had to get my nuts sonared once. [/QUOTE] What a great sentence. I am spend a lot of effort trying to insert it into conversation from now on. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/37 "2007-02-16T22:16:10Z")
Thank you, I’ll be here all week. ---
**Author:** ![Cerowyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/82dd89/32.png) [@Cerowyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerowyn)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/38 "2007-02-16T22:25:44Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] Think that’s bad? When I was 18, I had a Q-tip each stuck up my rear and then one up the other end–yes, in both “out” holes–for $50. [/QUOTE] Ya know, you probably could have got it done for $25 at the local rub-n-tug. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2007, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/39 "2007-02-16T22:32:44Z")
[QUOTE=Unauthorized Cinnamon] Heh. Not only have I had all the normal girlie exams, but I’ve had my urethra dilated, so I still don’t have too much sympathy. Contrary to what one might expect, urethra dilation doesn’t involve some neat drugs like dilating your irises does. They just come at you with a thick metal rod with a tapered end. I won’t forget that experience soon. [/QUOTE] Yeah, I had that done once, when I kept getting UTIs. I had to fast ahead of time, so between my blood sugar conniption and the pain, I fainted in the changing room afterwards. The only concern they showed was that my blocking up the changing room would make the next patient late to their procedure. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2007, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185/40 "2007-02-17T00:20:32Z")
[QUOTE=Dr\_Paprika] It would help me out a lot if you’d all make finger puppet noises. [/QUOTE] What the hell does a finger puppet sound like? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-take-your-thumb-out-of-my-ass-anytime-now/392185.md?page=3)