# You can tell me.  It won't hurt my feelings

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-tell-me-it-wont-hurt-my-feelings/845101
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [December 19, 2019, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-tell-me-it-wont-hurt-my-feelings/845101 "2019-12-19T18:15:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 1
**Showing post:** 17

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### Author: ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)
#### Post date: [December 19, 2019, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-can-tell-me-it-wont-hurt-my-feelings/845101/17 "2019-12-19T20:58:04Z")

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> [@dropzone](#):
>
> To be honest, I was hoping for helpful criticism, not fishing for compliments.

Okay, here’s some general advice: beware **the Curse of Knowledge**.

> [@](#):
>
> The curse of knowledge is a cognitive bias that occurs when an individual, communicating with other individuals, unknowingly assumes that the others have the background to understand.
> 
> [Curse of knowledge - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledge)

> [@](#):
>
> You are suffering from the curse of knowledge when you know things that the other person does not and you have forgotten what it’s like to not have this knowledge. This makes it harder for you to identify with the other person’s situation and explain things in a manner that is easily understandable to someone who is a novice.
> 
> [https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/are-you-suffering-from-the-curse-knowledge.html](https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/are-you-suffering-from-the-curse-knowledge.html)

And here’s an example specific to you:

Recently you started a thread with the following OP:

> [@How did these bastards learn what my survivor benefits are?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-did-these-bastards-learn-what-my-survivor-benefits-are/844626/1):
>
> Another reason to get outta here ASAP: I just got a bill for being neglected by this dump, and is magically equal to my survivor benefits for my wife. How did they find that info? I didn’t tell them, and I need it to pay my mortgage.
> 
> Cheap motherfuckers.

This probably makes sense to anyone who’s familiar with your situation, based on your posting history. But anyone who hasn’t read your previous threads, or who hasn’t made the connection ("Oh yeah, **dropzone** is _that guy_), isn’t going to know what the heck you mean by “here” or “this dump.”

So, when you start a new thread like that, you have to either provide some background (“Previously on **Dropzone** ’s Life…”) or accept that it’s only going to be intelligible to some of the people who click on it.

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