# "You can't blame me for being oversensitve on my period." Bullshit. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 15, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835 "2006-09-15T14:39:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/121 "2006-09-18T01:18:50Z")
> [@lisacurl](#): > > A well-adjusted human being is someone who says, “I’m in pain, please leave me alone.” A self-centered asshole is someone who hears that and continues to annoy and aggravate that person. You said you were projecting your own issues here, so you’re obviously not responding rationally. Poor dear, you probably have PMS. No, you’d just like to believe that life is as simple as asking to be left alone during PMS. It’s not. Sometimes, you have to interact with the world, regardless of how bad you feel. For instance, I, as a graduate student, get exactly three days of sick leave per year. Three. God help me, then, if I get a flu AND a cold in the same year. Or a stomach virus. Or any of quite a few other minor ailments. I have to medicate and suck it up, and interact with the world. I’m sorry if PMS makes you feel bad. I’ll leave you alone to the extent I can, but it’s simply not possible all the time. And when it’s NOT possible, I expect to be treated civilly. I am not the cause of your pain or discomfort. I’m sorry if you think that’s an unreasonable request, because it is not. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/122 "2006-09-18T01:37:02Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > No, you’d just like to believe that life is as simple as asking to be left alone during PMS. It’s not. Sometimes, you have to interact with the world, regardless of how bad you feel. For instance, I, as a graduate student, get exactly three days of sick leave per year. Three. God help me, then, if I get a flu AND a cold in the same year. Or a stomach virus. Or any of quite a few other minor ailments. I have to medicate and suck it up, and interact with the world. I’m sorry if PMS makes you feel bad. I’ll leave you alone to the extent I can, but it’s simply not possible all the time. > > And when it’s NOT possible, I expect to be treated civilly. I am not the cause of your pain or discomfort. > > I’m sorry if you think that’s an unreasonable request, because it is not. Again: everyone else is not you. It’s very nice that you’re able to be so stoic when you’re not well. Not everyone is able to do so, and it’s unrealistic of you to expect them to. You don’t have to like it, that’s just the way it is. You don’t “have to” medicate and suck it up. You choose to. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/123 "2006-09-18T01:43:30Z")
You choose _not_ to. There is relief available for most of your discomfort. Use it, and get back to the world. We like to see you around. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/124 "2006-09-18T01:46:19Z")
You’re under the impression I suffer PMS. Again: I don’t. I had a hysterectomy 10 years ago. I get to experience emotions like anger and frustration without having to prove I’m not PMS’ing. Quite cool. You need to stop projecting. The human body is _not_ like a car. Everyone’s chemistry is different. I’m sorry you’re having difficulty understanding this concept, but I assure you, the shortcoming is entirely yours. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/125 "2006-09-18T01:51:09Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > You choose _not_ to. There is relief available for most of your discomfort. Use it, and get back to the world. We like to see you around. Like I said, you are a pedantic asshole who thinks the world revolves around his pivot foot. The gall that it takes to think you know someone else’s pain is staggering. It is you who keeps insisting women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches. All anyone has asked for is reasonable accomodation. Not removal from the world. Not free reign to yell and attack. Just a consideration for a purely physiological condition. Again, my condolences to the **Ogress**. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/126 "2006-09-18T02:18:41Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Like I said, you are a pedantic asshole who thinks the world revolves around his pivot foot. The gall that it takes to think you know someone else’s pain is staggering. It sure sounds like you could use a pain pill or three. The fact is that for most women, the pain and discomfort associated with PMS is not crippling. Evolution would have seen to that a long time ago. A lot of women feel out-of-sorts, uncomfortable, crampy, emotional, etc. Very few actually experience crippling pain or severe depression, and in most cases, it’s a sign of some underlying condition which should be professionally investigated. Do yourself a favor and look up PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disease.) In the first place, fewer than half of women experience anything during PMS that could be construed as interfering with daily life, and in the vast majority of those cases, it’s pretty easily treatable. > [@](#): > > It is you who keeps insisting women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches. All anyone has asked for is reasonable accomodation. Not removal from the world. Not free reign to yell and attack. Just a consideration for a purely physiological condition. Trying to demonize me again, eh? You’re a transparent fool. At no time did I say anything that could be remotely interpreted as “women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches,” and you’re a pathetically poor arguer for saying I have. As for “consideration for a purely physiological condition,” I have said multiple times that I would leave a PMS sufferer alone to the extent possible. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible, just as it’s not always possible for any person to be left alone, regardless if they have a purely physiological condition. The world, like it or not, isn’t like that. If the dude in the next office has to come in with a migraine, or a flu, and get his shit done, it’s not unreasonable to ask you ladies to take some Midol and come to work (and interact civilly with other people.) > [@](#): > > Again, my condolences to the **Ogress**. I just passed your condolences on to her. She responded by giving me a hug and a kiss, and telling me she loves me. Apparently, condolences are unnecessary. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/127 "2006-09-18T02:30:40Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > You’re under the impression I suffer PMS. Again: I don’t. I had a hysterectomy 10 years ago. I get to experience emotions like anger and frustration without having to prove I’m not PMS’ing. Quite cool. > > You need to stop projecting. The human body is _not_ like a car. Everyone’s chemistry is different. I’m sorry you’re having difficulty understanding this concept, but I assure you, the shortcoming is entirely yours. In this particular case, I was using the collective “you.” Second person plural, you know, and it applies only to the women being discussed: those who suffer from PMS. No projection. I promise I’ll use the faux-VB tags when I’m trying to make a point by that means. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/128 "2006-09-18T02:31:12Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > If the dude in the next office has to come in with a migraine, or a flu, and get his shit done, it’s not unreasonable to ask you ladies to take some Midol and come to work (and interact civilly with other people.) Again, you continue to attempt to liken one illness to another. I _do_ suffer migraines, and I assure you, I’m not at work. I’m at home with aluminum foil on the windows, an ice pack at my neck sincerely wishing I could die. A minor cold, I deal and come in. There are some things that some people simply cannot “suck up and deal” with. It is unreasonable of you to decide what other people can and cannot tolerate. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/129 "2006-09-18T02:38:22Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > In this particular case, I was using the collective “you.” Second person plural, you know, and it applies only to the women being discussed: those who suffer from PMS. No projection. I promise I’ll use the faux-VB tags when I’m trying to make a point by that means. Fair enough, but I’m still not comfortable that you feel you’re able to judge what is and is not tolerable for other people. Regarding the aforementioned migraines: I take medication (Topamax), and it does help. But what it mostly does is lessen the pain to the point that it doesn’t encompass the entire world and my every waking moment. It allows me to tolerate it. That’s really all any medication can do. Many women suffer the same problem with PMS. Although medications do certainly help, they don’t by any means eradicate the symptoms. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/130 "2006-09-18T02:42:59Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > It sure sounds like you could use a pain pill or three. The fact is that for most women, the pain and discomfort associated with PMS is not crippling. Evolution would have seen to that a long time ago. Evolution? Are you serious? > [@](#): > > Trying to demonize me again, eh? You’re a transparent fool. At no time did I say anything that could be remotely interpreted as “women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches,” and you’re a pathetically poor arguer for saying I have. No need to. You demonize yourself just fine. You are aware that everyone can read your posts, right? And they don’t just go away if you wish it? Here are your words. _And quit fucking yelling at me._ \*Yes. The signs usually consist of being attacked for some imagined slight. \* _To be attacked more or less at random over a ridiculously trivial issue? Considerable._ \*I said “yelling” as an example of an attack. \* _I need you to control your rage when I have to ask you something and answer me like a rational person._ For the record, you are 0 for 2 as to whether **lisacurl** and **EddyTeddyFreddy** understood your “projection.” ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/131 "2006-09-18T02:51:04Z")
Man, that’s some serious PMS, then. One who “simply can not deal with it” should probably go to the doctor about a serious physical condition. Fortunately, those types of real PMS conditions are pretty uncommon (somewhere between 3% and 8% of the population.) For the rest, I’m sorry, but things still need to be done, questions asked, tasks fulfilled, interaction required. You can’t have 3-5 days off from human contact every month, or even every couple of months. It’s an unreasonable request. If you’re feeling poopy, gassy, crampy, and on-edge, you have my sympathy, but those conditions are easily treatable. We need you around. If it’s more serious than that, do everyone a favor and go get treatment. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/132 "2006-09-18T02:51:16Z")
And while we are at it, I am sorry that grad students only get 3 sick days a year. I’m a carpenter. I get 0 sick days a year. If someone comes in hung over, or pissed because of problems at home, we leave them the fuck alone and everyone does his job. If I sprain my knee and cannot climb a ladder, accomodations are made. That may not be how it works in grad school, (Grad school is a job? Where do I sign up?), but that’s how it works where guys are swinging hammers and doing heavy lifting. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/133 "2006-09-18T02:52:53Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Man, that’s some serious PMS, then. One who “simply can not deal with it” should probably go to the doctor about a serious physical condition. Fortunately, those types of real PMS conditions are pretty uncommon (somewhere between 3% and 8% of the population.) For the rest, I’m sorry, but things still need to be done, questions asked, tasks fulfilled, interaction required. You can’t have 3-5 days off from human contact every month, or even every couple of months. It’s an unreasonable request. If you’re feeling poopy, gassy, crampy, and on-edge, you have my sympathy, but those conditions are easily treatable. We need you around. If it’s more serious than that, do everyone a favor and go get treatment. So ya got nothing. Big surprise. You lying weasel. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/134 "2006-09-18T03:01:10Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Evolution? Are you serious? > > No need to. You demonize yourself just fine. You are aware that everyone can read your posts, right? And they don’t just go away if you wish it? Here are your words. OK, let’s analyze! This is fun! > [@](#): > > _And quit fucking yelling at me._ An example of how my wife sometimes gets. She does, in fact, yell. Not a generalization, and not equal to “women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches.” Strike one. > [@](#): > > \*Yes. The signs usually consist of being attacked for some imagined slight. \* Again, a specific example from my own life. I once got yelled at for quite some time over whether I was going to do the dishes now, or in 15 minutes. Still not equal to “women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches.” Strike two. > [@](#): > > _To be attacked more or less at random over a ridiculously trivial issue? Considerable._ See above. It made me understandably upset, given that I had done nothing to deserve the attack. Still not equal to “women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches.” Strike three, and more to come? Way to hang in there, kid. > [@](#): > > \*I said “yelling” as an example of an attack. \* Again. A specific example. No violence, but I find yelling to be fairly upsetting. Yet again, not equal to “women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches.” Strike…, well, let’s just say they keep coming. > [@](#): > > _I need you to control your rage when I have to ask you something and answer me like a rational person._ It’s just bizarre to think that this is equal to “women who sufer from PMS are violent, yelling, attacking bitches.” You’re just phoning it in now. Hit the showers. You’re washed up. > [@](#): > > For the record, you are 0 for 2 as to whether **lisacurl** and **EddyTeddyFreddy** understood your “projection.” Some record. I’m 2-2 for participants in the thread who have answered the issue. See also, **Rasa** ’s post and **featherlou** ’s post. I’m batting .500, which tells me that it was not unreasonable to expect that Dopers would get it. I’ll take it. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/135 "2006-09-18T03:04:01Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Some record. I’m 2-2 for participants in the thread who have answered the issue. See also, **Rasa** ’s post and **featherlou** ’s post. I’m batting .500, which tells me that it was not unreasonable to expect that Dopers would get it. I’ll take it. **featherlou** saw no connection to your first post, which was the crux of your argument. Go ahead and call it a win, however. Whatever makes you feel like a man. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/136 "2006-09-18T03:08:11Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > And while we are at it, I am sorry that grad students only get 3 sick days a year. I’m a carpenter. I get 0 sick days a year. If someone comes in hung over, or pissed because of problems at home, we leave them the fuck alone and everyone does his job. If I sprain my knee and cannot climb a ladder, accomodations are made. That may not be how it works in grad school, (Grad school is a job? Where do I sign up?), but that’s how it works where guys are swinging hammers and doing heavy lifting. Sure, but you’re expected to come in. You don’t get to say “go away and leave me alone.” If the guy next you needs help carrying boards, you have to carry boards, and respond to him in a civil manner while doing so. Thanks for making my point for me, numbskull. Oh, and you bet your sweet ass grad school is a job. It’s a grueling, long-houred, poorly paid job. If it were a choice between swinging hammers (which I’ve done professionally) and taking oral comprehensives, I’d be out there swinging hammers in a New York minute. > [@](#): > > So ya got nothing. Big surprise. You lying weasel. Again, bizarre. My response was topical, precise, and answered her post exactly, and is almost a word-for-word repetition of my central point. If I don’t keep hammering (ho ho! Carpenter humor!) away at the high points, your dumb ass keeps trying to distract with retarded hijacks. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/137 "2006-09-18T03:09:50Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > **featherlou** saw no connection to your first post, which was the crux of your argument. Go ahead and call it a win, however. Whatever makes you feel like a man. Yeah, he got it in the absence of critical data, which puts him miles ahead of you. I mean, he got that I was projecting. Good enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/138 "2006-09-18T03:19:27Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Man, that’s some serious PMS, then. One who “simply can not deal with it” should probably go to the doctor about a serious physical condition. Fortunately, those types of real PMS conditions are pretty uncommon (somewhere between 3% and 8% of the population.) For the rest, I’m sorry, but things still need to be done, questions asked, tasks fulfilled, interaction required. You can’t have 3-5 days off from human contact every month, or even every couple of months. It’s an unreasonable request. If you’re feeling poopy, gassy, crampy, and on-edge, you have my sympathy, but those conditions are easily treatable. We need you around. If it’s more serious than that, do everyone a favor and go get treatment. I think you may be confusing “incapacitating” with “pain in the ass”. No one here has said they need to take 3-5 days a month off. But it’s certainly reasonable to say that for a couple days prior to and one day during their period, they suffer from symptoms that make it difficult to operate on their usual level. Those people, regardless of your personal feelings of how severe their affliction may be, aren’t being anti social or slackers or even hysterical. At the base of it, human beings are animals, and animals in pain tend to lash out. While people have more control, that doesn’t mean they have perfect control, and it’s understandable that it happens occasionally. People are not machines. Saying “control yourself” implies that anyone is acting in that manner intentionally, or that control should be something they should automatically be able to do. Again, you cannot apply your own personal abilities or circumstances on anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/139 "2006-09-18T03:20:46Z")
_To_.To anyone else, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/140 "2006-09-18T03:34:32Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > I think you may be confusing “incapacitating” with “pain in the ass”. No one here has said they need to take 3-5 days a month off. But it’s certainly reasonable to say that for a couple days prior to and one day during their period, they suffer from symptoms that make it difficult to operate on their usual level. Those people, regardless of your personal feelings of how severe their affliction may be, aren’t being anti social or slackers or even hysterical. At the base of it, human beings are animals, and animals in pain tend to lash out. While people have more control, that doesn’t mean they have perfect control, and it’s understandable that it happens occasionally. People are not machines. Saying “control yourself” implies that anyone is acting in that manner intentionally, or that control should be something they should automatically be able to do. Again, you cannot apply your own personal abilities or circumstances on anyone else. Well, I’m not the only one in the thread who has espoused that position. Hell, we’ve had women come in and say the same thing. I disagree with you. Thanks at least for a civil response. Now, I have to go into my cushy grad school job for a while and do a shift in the middle of the night. Depending on what needs to be done, I may be back later. FTR, I don’t think saying “control yourself” implies intent at all. In fact, I mean it in exactly the opposite way. I think that hormonal issues may cause women to unintentionally act badly, but that the technology and the knowledge of menstrual cycles is there and largely able to minimize that behavior, and even if not, the hormonal issues do not absolve a person of the responsibility to act in a civil manner. They don’t destroy a person’s conscious volition, or if they do, that’s a really medically serious issue. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835.md?page=8)