# "You can't blame me for being oversensitve on my period." Bullshit. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 15, 2006, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835 "2006-09-15T14:39:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/141 "2006-09-18T03:42:18Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Well, I’m not the only one in the thread who has espoused that position. Hell, we’ve had women come in and say the same thing. I disagree with you. Thanks at least for a civil response. Now, I have to go into my cushy grad school job for a while and do a shift in the middle of the night. Depending on what needs to be done, I may be back later. Yes. I know. But you and the other people in the thread (females included) have espoused that position based on personal experience. Again; just because they haven’t experienced something, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. > [@](#): > > FTR, I don’t think saying “control yourself” implies intent at all. In fact, I mean it in exactly the opposite way. I think that hormonal issues may cause women to unintentionally act badly, but that the technology and the knowledge of menstrual cycles is there and largely able to minimize that behavior, and even if not, the hormonal issues do not absolve a person of the responsibility to act in a civil manner. They don’t destroy a person’s conscious volition, or if they do, that’s a really medically serious issue. No, it really isn’t. It’s just a chemical reaction. Just like any other chemical reaction, it’s difficult to find the correct dosage, medication, etc. to correct the imbalance. I’m a little flummoxed; I don’t understand how people here understand completely how psychological meds require “tweaking” to find the correct prescription, but the same understanding can’t be applied to PMS. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/142 "2006-09-18T03:55:26Z")
Well, the biochemistry of psychological disorders is still pretty much a closed book. We don’t even really understand how neurotransmitters actually work. Treatment of psychological disorders with medication is a risky process, with benefits sometimes only barely outweighing crippling downsides. PMS, however, while being difficult to deal with on a causative level (partially because of the interlink with neurological biochemistry in severe cases,) is usually fairly easy to beat back to a manageable level, because the symptoms respond to OTC medication (in the majority of cases.) What I’m saying, and what the National Women’s Health Information Center also says, is that self-treatment with supplements and lifestyle changes are effective in helping with most PMS. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/143 "2006-09-18T03:56:39Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Well, the biochemistry of psychological disorders is still pretty much a closed book. We don’t even really understand how neurotransmitters actually work. Treatment of psychological disorders with medication is a risky process, with benefits sometimes only barely outweighing crippling downsides. PMS, however, while being difficult to deal with on a causative level (partially because of the interlink with neurological biochemistry in severe cases,) is usually fairly easy to beat back to a manageable level, because the symptoms respond to OTC medication (in the majority of cases.) > > What I’m saying, and what the National Women’s Health Information Center also says, is that self-treatment with supplements and lifestyle changes are effective in helping with most PMS. Hrm. I meant “…OTC medication and self-treatment…” ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/144 "2006-09-18T04:04:24Z")
Alright, but PMS is the same type of chemical reaction. Simplifying it by saying that women react to over the counter meds, therefore it’s not the same thing is like saying some kids with ADD react to well to having a cup of coffee in the morning, therefore it isn’t really ADD. PMS is recognized as a biochemical reaction and as I stated before, everyone’s body chemistry is different. So expecting everyone to respond in the same way and projecting your expectations of what should and should not be controllable is a little unrealistic. I don’t disagree that it’s manageable, but manageable =/= able to completely erase all symptoms. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/145 "2006-09-18T04:42:50Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > You choose _not_ to. There is relief available for most of your discomfort. Use it, and get back to the world. We like to see you around. Shove your patronizing attitude right the fuck up your ass. (Wow, look how that happened when I’m not even PMSing.) Congratulations for vomiting your personal issues with your wife all over the thread. I seriously considered writing a long explanation for you on how difficult it is to get any medical professional – male, female, general physician, gynecologist, anyone – to take you seriously when you are describing pre-menstrual symptoms and I decided it wasn’t worth it. You have an axe to grind and you won’t hear a word I say. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/146 "2006-09-18T05:16:39Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Alright, but PMS is the same type of chemical reaction. Simplifying it by saying that women react to over the counter meds, therefore it’s not the same thing is like saying some kids with ADD react to well to having a cup of coffee in the morning, therefore it isn’t really ADD. > > PMS is recognized as a biochemical reaction and as I stated before, everyone’s body chemistry is different. So expecting everyone to respond in the same way and projecting your expectations of what should and should not be controllable is a little unrealistic. I don’t disagree that it’s manageable, but manageable =/= able to completely erase all symptoms. Everybody’s biochemistry certainly is different, but most people’s body chemistry have characteristics in common. That’s what makes medical treatment possible. Most women do, in fact, react well to self treatment, including OTC’s, nutrition, and other lifestyle changes. And manageable may not mean being able to erase all symptoms, but it’s usually enough to allow folks to be functional, or at the very least, civil. Remember, ladies. It’s your body that’s doing this to you. Don’t take it out on everybody else. That’s all I ask. > [@](#): > > Shove your patronizing attitude right the fuck up your ass. Kisses right back atcha, babydoll. Doesn’t change the fact that, for most women, the condition is manageable. > [@](#): > > Congratulations for vomiting your personal issues with your wife all over the thread. This whole thread _started_ with someone “vomiting personal issues.” Don’t blame me if I respond to the OP by relating my personal experiences. That’s what we do around here. It’s a message board, you see. > [@](#): > > I seriously considered writing a long explanation for you on how difficult it is to get any medical professional – male, female, general physician, gynecologist, anyone – to take you seriously when you are describing pre-menstrual symptoms and I decided it wasn’t worth it. You have an axe to grind and you won’t hear a word I say. You should perhaps find a better doctor, then. I mean, PMS and PMDD are recognized medical problems. If you have real difficulties with them, you _can_ get treatment. But let’s face it, lots of women don’t, and lots of women use it as an excuse. Maybe **you** don’t, maybe nobody in this thread does, but quite a few do. ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/147 "2006-09-18T06:59:33Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > Have PMS all you want. Ditch the poor behavior, though. I think a lot of the problem is that some women really CAN’T control themselves that time of the month. I’m one of those women, and not for the reason you’d think. Fuck the hormones, it’s the pain. Every period I’ve ever had I get the worst cramps on the planet. The only time I’ve had worse pain in my uterus is when I had a freakin’ miscarriage, and even then, it wasn’t that much more worse. I’ve had to take time off of work because of my periods, and my boyfriend will spend hours sitting with me and rubbing my back because I’m huddled in a ball in the dark, crying in pain. According to my gynocologist (well, the four gynos I’ve seen in my life), this is a normal period for me, because they can find nothing wrong with my innards. Strong painkillers (you name it, I’ve tried it; everything from Advil to Percocet to Valium to marijuana - it doesn’t help) don’t do anything for it; I’ll get bursts of pain from a few seconds to a few hours. I just have to wait through it. So when I’m bitchy to people, please excuse me. I feel like my uterus is trying to escape from my body and strangle me. And on top of that I feel fat, gross, and I’m bleeding from my privates (what sick diety came up with that crap, anyway?). I’ll give you that some women use it as an excuse to just generally be a bitch. I’ve seen them do it. But please excuse those of us who actually have a valid complaint with our bodies. ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/148 "2006-09-18T09:50:21Z")
> [@delphica](#): > > I’m a woman, and I don’t think the OP is silly at all. Every time I hear a woman blame poor behavior on PMS, it bothers _me_ because it makes it just a little bit harder to get people to stop thinking “eh, she must be on the rag” and then not take me seriously if I have a legitimate concern or complaint. > > Have PMS all you want. Ditch the poor behavior, though. Same here. I do get soppy the day before, and my back tries to sue for divorce during; some friends of mine get the kind of cramps that make breathing painful. But none of us thinks that gives us the right to be bitches. Or at least, to be bitchier than usual. Heck, I had a boss who adscribed my ultimatim re. leaving the job to PMS. His idiocy isn’t the fault of any woman except maybe his mothers and teachers… but that particular brand of it is the fault of women who think that being female is an excuse to be a bitch. And I did leave the job. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/149 "2006-09-18T10:58:51Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > Again, you continue to attempt to liken one illness to another. I _do_ suffer migraines, and I assure you, I’m not at work. I’m at home with aluminum foil on the windows, an ice pack at my neck sincerely wishing I could die. A minor cold, I deal and come in. There are some things that some people simply cannot “suck up and deal” with. It is unreasonable of you to decide what other people can and cannot tolerate. Migraines are caused by government mind-control rays? > [@Ogre](#): > > Oh, and you bet your sweet ass grad school is a job. It’s a grueling, long-houred, poorly paid job. If it were a choice between swinging hammers (which I’ve done professionally) and taking oral comprehensives, I’d be out there swinging hammers in a New York minute. I was really confused until I realized you hadn’t in fact said “taking oral contraceptives”. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/150 "2006-09-18T12:29:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Velma** > _I don’t get bad PMS and my husband doesn’t even know I have my period unless I tell him, I don’t notice a big change._ > [@flight](#): > > Wow, I feel very sorry for your husband. Why? ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/151 "2006-09-18T12:35:10Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > Why? Implying perhaps that Mr Velma doesn’t get near **Velma** ’s girlybits often enough to find out if they are bleeding or not? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/152 "2006-09-18T12:38:14Z")
I see. I don’t get PMS, and I also don’t have a 100% regular cycle. The way I find out I’m about to start is usually when Mr. Rilch pulls out and says “Looks like you’re on red alert!” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/153 "2006-09-18T13:05:59Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > I see. > > I don’t get PMS, and I also don’t have a 100% regular cycle. The way I find out I’m about to start is usually when Mr. Rilch pulls out and says “Looks like you’re on red alert!” :rolleyes: Thank you _so_ much for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/154 "2006-09-18T15:02:39Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Implying perhaps that Mr Velma doesn’t get near **Velma** ’s girlybits often enough to find out if they are bleeding or not? There ya go. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/155 "2006-09-18T15:23:34Z")
Am I the only one who finds the fact that the majority of this post is a couple of men arging with each other about PMS deeply, deeply funny? Or possibly Contra isn’t a guy and I’m wrong, but still, the entertainment value has been well worth the delusion if that’s the case. And, in further response to Mr. **Ogre** ’s assholishness, not everyone can tolerate OTC medications, thanks. Fortunately for me, I don’t get anything in the way of PMS (and praise Og for that, by the way!). If I did, I’d be in a world of hurt as OTC painkillers are verboten for me. I can’t take anything containing an NSAID drug (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug) - ever. Cramps are enough fun without added vomiting and/or anaphylaxis. **lisacurl** has a point. If I am not feeling quite myself (I have a cold, or gastrointestinal distress, or PMS, or a vicious headache, or sprained my wrist - the reason really doesn’t matter), and am minding my own business holding my shit together and some asshole starts poking at me and ignores a politely worded request to give me some space, the resultant poor reaction on my part is due to _their_ bad manners, not _my_ lack of control. If I’m at work (or otherwise in public) and being productive and professional, then a polite “I’m sorry, I’m not feeling particularly well - would you mind giving me a few moments?” should be perfectly reasonable and acceptable - and graciously accepted. If I’m in private, I would hope my nearest and dearest would care enough for me and my feelings to give me some space if I feel like hell. I try not to take my distress out on other people, but dammit, if someone stays up in my face and keeps pestering me when I feel like shit, at a certain point they deserve to hear about my displeasure. At that certain point, I’m not lashing out at them because of my distress, I’m doing it because they’re being a jackass. I’ll also point out that a substantial portion of persons who might be subject to PMS symptoms are already undergoing treatment for unrelated conditions via the usage of mood-altering chemicals. Good luck finding a doctor who’s willing to tinker with depression medications that are actually _working_ most of the time to take PMS into account. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/156 "2006-09-18T16:06:01Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Migraines are caused by government mind-control rays? 😛 No, light _hurts_ when I have a migraine, and aluminum foil blocks the light out completely. Even drawing the curtains doesn’t get the room dark enough. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/157 "2006-09-18T16:15:28Z")
I find all this hostility deeply confusing. I mean, I’ve only really said a couple things (outside the massively dipshitted hijack about what exactly constitutes a thread.) Let’s get back to the basics. 1. Women do not have the right to take their PMS pain out on those around them. Is this in contention? 2. Women, in general, should not take 3-5 days off every month, or even every couple of months for a condition that, for most women, is predictable and manageable with OTC’s and lifestyle changes (please note, **Aangelica** , that no, not everyone can take OTC’s, but that most women can, besides which, most benefit from lifestyle and diet changes.) 3. Regarding “personal issues,” I chose to share my frustration with the way my wife sometimes acts during PMS. For some reason, this is completely out of line, regardless of the fact that I specifically stated that it was my wife. Really, now. What’s the problem here? Is it because I tackled a sensitive subject? Is it because I deign to have a contrary opinion about it, and am not at all afraid to argue that opinion? Remember, it was **Contrapuntal** who started with the snarky tone. My previous postings were more directed _at my wife_ than at anyone in the thread. The wigs are definitely on the green. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/158 "2006-09-18T16:16:34Z")
> [@Aangelica](#): > > Am I the only one who finds the fact that the majority of this post is a couple of men arging with each other about PMS deeply, deeply funny? No. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/159 "2006-09-18T16:27:03Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > I find all this hostility deeply confusing. I mean, I’ve only really said a couple things (outside the massively dipshitted hijack about what exactly constitutes a thread.) Let’s get back to the basics. > > 1. Women do not have the right to take their PMS pain out on those around them. Is this in contention? No, that’s a fair point. No one should take any kind of pain out on anyone else. At least, not at work. > [@](#): > > 1. Women, in general, should not take 3-5 days off every month, or even every couple of months for a condition that, for most women, is predictable and manageable with OTC’s and lifestyle changes (please note, **Aangelica** , that no, not everyone can take OTC’s, but that most women can, besides which, most benefit from lifestyle and diet changes.) Wrong. Not EVERY woman finds PMS/menstruation “manageable”, and certainly not “predictable”! Sometimes I have mild periods, other times its hell on earth. And besides, if I KNOW I’m going to be a raging bitch, isn’t it better to take that time off rather than go to work and “take it out on those around me?” > [@](#): > > 1. Regarding “personal issues,” I chose to share my frustration with the way my wife sometimes acts during PMS. For some reason, this is completely out of line, regardless of the fact that I specifically stated that it was my wife. > > Really, now. What’s the problem here? Is it because I tackled a sensitive subject? Is it because I deign to have a contrary opinion about it, and am not at all afraid to argue that opinion? Remember, it was **Contrapuntal** who started with the snarky tone. My previous postings were more directed _at my wife_ than at anyone in the thread. The wigs are definitely on the green. Because it’s a private issue between you and your wife, and you come off as extremely disrespectful towards her. Also, you seem to be assuming that YOU know better than some of us here when you say, “oh, just suck it up, take a pill, it can’t be THAT bad.” Really now. And you have experience with this? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 18, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835/160 "2006-09-18T16:39:07Z")
> [@Aangelica](#): > > Am I the only one who finds the fact that the majority of this post is a couple of men arging with each other about PMS deeply, deeply funny? Glad to be of service, ma’am. I am a guy, and I know little of how PMS affects women, which is pretty much my point. Folks should not pretend to know other folks’ pain. Have you seen me argue anything other than that PMS is a physiological condition that has varying effects on different people? I mean, aside from **Ogre** ’s Theories of Thread Structure? How about you respond to my posts, rather than my gender, unless you feel that a person’s gender has a bearing on the validities of his beliefs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-blame-me-for-being-oversensitve-on-my-period-bullshit/372835.md?page=9)