# You can't make this stuff up: Screech sex tape...featuring a dirty sanchez
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 29, 2006, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582 "2006-09-29T05:14:48Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/1 "2006-09-29T05:14:48Z")
[Link](http://www.tmz.com/2006/09/27/screech-sex-tape/)
> [@](#):
>
> TMZ has learned that a tape involving Diamond – who recently proclaimed to the world that he was completely broke – has allegedly surfaced in which the former TV star cavorts with two unidentified women. And even more shocking is an act that Diamond engages in with the women which involves bodily excretions and moustache-painting, known in sexual vernacular as the “Dirty Sanchez.” TMZ learned of the allegation yesterday night, and called Screech’s reps, who did not immediately return our calls.
This tape is currently being shopped to various porn distributers under the title, “Saved by the Smell.”
I know it sounds like a parody, but it isn’t.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/2 "2006-09-29T05:18:33Z")
Even Screech can score a three-way. Hope for me yet!
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### Author:  [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/3 "2006-09-29T05:34:30Z")
I’ll click almost any link… but here… the line is finally drawn.
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### Author:  [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/4 "2006-09-29T05:38:47Z")
So _that’s_ what a dirty sanchez is.
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### Author:  [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/5 "2006-09-29T05:40:52Z")
Was this the same guy who was trying to get people to pay for his house by selling T-shirts? Now this? Is there not a Wal Mart somewhere that could use him as a greeter? Did the guy really exhaust all his prospects before turning to scat porn? Yeech.
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### Author:  [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/6 "2006-09-29T05:51:25Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Borgia]
So _that’s_ what a dirty sanchez is.
[/QUOTE]
You didn’t know!?
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### Author:  [@overeasy4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overeasy4)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/7 "2006-09-29T06:15:57Z")
Oh my freakin god. It could only be worse if it included Yoko.
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### Author:  [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/8 "2006-09-29T06:20:34Z")
I saw a story on Scarborough Country - yes, Scarborough Country - about this “tape.” Seeing as the only evidence that exists is a picture of a goateed Screech looking surprised (and why wouldn’t he be), and the fact that the “agent” for Screech looked like he was auditioning for Last Comic Standing, I’m going to raise the possibility that this is a hoax.
Two questions: one, was SBTB ever really popular? I mean, I remember it being on Saturday mornings after cartoons and being really cheesy, even worse than Head of the Class - which I actually did like. Was there an identifiable fan base, who eagerly tuned in to see the hijinks of the gang, every week? They did do a nice job of the eye candy, though, with Tiffani-Amber Thiessen and Lark Voorhies… and those two dudes as well, I guess.
Second, once SBTB wrapped up, why didn’t Dustin Diamond take a note from Jaleel White, and buckled down and got hisself some education? Can’t dude make webpages or be a talent scout, or direct some kids’ movies? (Another clever move by White - or someone who wrote for the show who liked him - giving him the “Stefan” alter-ego that was smooth and cool, so it wasn’t all Urkel all the time.) Did they ever try to make Screech cool in some context?
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### Author:  [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/9 "2006-09-29T08:51:45Z")
[QUOTE=Hippy Hollow]
I saw a story on Scarborough Country - yes, Scarborough Country - about this “tape.” Seeing as the only evidence that exists is a picture of a goateed Screech looking surprised (and why wouldn’t he be), and the fact that the “agent” for Screech looked like he was auditioning for Last Comic Standing, I’m going to raise the possibility that this is a hoax.
[/QUOTE]
Are you sure it was a goatee? :dubious:
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### Author:  [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/10 "2006-09-29T09:30:07Z")
You mean people actually DO Dirty Sanchez??? I thought that was made up for the internet. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool pervert and even I…oh lord…and with Screech??? No, no, no. Some things really are an abomination before god.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/11 "2006-09-29T09:44:51Z")
To think that those …errr…women…brag about scoring with Screech.
::::::::::shudder::::::::::::::
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### Author:  [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/12 "2006-09-29T11:52:14Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir]
You mean people actually DO Dirty Sanchez??? I thought that was made up for the internet. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool pervert and even I…oh lord…and with Screech??? No, no, no. Some things really are an abomination before god.
[/QUOTE]
Really. Before I read this, I was sure that [Goofball.com](http://Goofball.com) made that term up, and no one would actually do such a disgusting thing.
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### Author:  [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/13 "2006-09-29T13:00:09Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman]
Really. Before I read this, I was sure that [Goofball.com](http://Goofball.com) made that term up, and no one would actually do such a disgusting thing.
[/QUOTE]
You obviously don’t watch enough internet porn. Although if you’re that freaked out by the Dirty Sanchez (not that you shouldn’t be), you probably shouldn’t.
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### Author:  [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/14 "2006-09-29T13:09:39Z")
Hippy Hollow - Saved by the Bell was actually insanely popular, but I’m still with you on this being a joke.
Screech was on Howard Stern a couple months ago and he sounded desperate, but not _that_ desperate. The house he’s trying to save is only about $400k and it’s more than halfway paid off IIRC. He could just about deliver pizzas and be ok.
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### Author:  [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/15 "2006-09-29T13:12:07Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest]
To think that those …errr…women…brag about scoring with Screech.
::::::::::shudder::::::::::::::
[/QUOTE]
He claims to be packing some serious heat.
> **[Typepad | Network Solutions](https://www.networksolutions.com/typepad?siteID=100&channelID=P99C100S653N0B5A1D0E0000V111)**
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### Author:  [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/16 "2006-09-29T13:20:24Z")
There isn’t enough Clorox Bleach in the world to scrub a brain clean of the sight of Screech naked, let alone having sex. _Shudder_
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### Author:  [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/17 "2006-09-29T13:26:21Z")
[QUOTE=Count Blucher]
There isn’t enough Clorox Bleach in the world to scrub a brain clean of the sight of Screech naked, let alone having sex. _Shudder_
[/QUOTE]
If what set you off in that description was the thought of Screech naked having sex, then I’m guessing you don’t know what a dirty sanchez is.
I wonder if he mushroomstamped one of the girls, or gave her a bilbo baggins.
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### Author:  [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/18 "2006-09-29T13:31:04Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir]
You mean people actually DO Dirty Sanchez??? I thought that was made up for the internet. I’m a dyed-in-the-wool pervert and even I…oh lord…and with Screech??? No, no, no. Some things really are an abomination before god.
[/QUOTE]
I’m with you on this one. Although, looking at the photos, he actually turned out pretty good. The beard suits him. Hmm, maybe if he agreed to leave Sanchez at home…
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### Author:  [@Wee\_Bairn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wee_Bairn)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/19 "2006-09-29T13:46:10Z")
Any word if the video features a Cleveland Steamer or a Rusty Trombone?
My bet is if this tape does exist, it was produced on purpose, specifically as a result of his financial difficulties. I find it too coincidental that a guy in financial need all of sudden gets this unexpected windfall- assuming that a Screech porn
tape would be a big seller. As a (semi) famous person doing porn on purpose is just not done, thus the whole “stolen sex tape” bit. Are the girls in it the ones from SBTB?
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### Author:  [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)
#### Post date: [September 29, 2006, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-cant-make-this-stuff-up-screech-sex-tape-featuring-a-dirty-sanchez/374582/20 "2006-09-29T13:47:55Z")
I think it’s safe to say that whatever sexual deviance you can possibly think up, people are doing it, and in all likelihood there’s probably a website that caters to it.
I have to think, however, that dirty sanchezes with Screech must be one of those sub-sub-sub-sub-fetishes that appeals to the same small segment of Japan that likes to play [Boong-ga Boong-ga](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boong-Ga_Boong-Ga).
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