# You come into a huge fortune. What frivious thing do you buy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440 "2010-07-12T20:20:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/161 "2010-07-16T00:49:14Z")
A solid gold toilet, so people will stop shitting in my tuba all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/162 "2010-07-16T00:56:00Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > A solid gold toilet, so people will stop shitting in my tuba all the time. Pick your tuba up off the floor! ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/163 "2010-07-16T03:15:57Z")
pffft. The only way that’s going to happen is if I get some diva to do it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/164 "2010-07-16T04:34:50Z")
1. I would buy the most kick ass stereo in the world, along with the most kick ass headphones. And I’d wire it all together with those thousand dollar a foot cables. 2. I’d buy a copy of every single piece of recorded music in history, except for _Billy, Don’t Be a Hero_ and _Achy Breaky Heart_. Those two, I would buy every single copy of, and the total rights to, and eradicate them like smallpox. That would make me a beloved historical figure, ---
**Author:** ![SandyHook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dec6dc/32.png) [@SandyHook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SandyHook)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/165 "2010-07-16T05:34:10Z")
I’d do pretty much exactly what I do now\*. I’d just do it on a much grander scale. \*Ms Hook and I are retired. We travel a lot. Just today we returned home from a 42 day drive up to Alaska. And I’m already planning next summers long trip. We’ll probably hook the 5th wheel up and drive across Canada and do the Atlantic coast provinces and states. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/166 "2010-07-16T05:43:19Z")
My own cigar store Indian, and damn political correctness. Also I would like to have a totem pole to put in my front yard to alarm the locals. I actually asked someone at the totem pole center in Haines, Alaska, where they teach the carving and maintenance of totem poles. The price I was quoted was $2000 per foot, and I would have to supply the yellow pine tree. ---
**Author:** ![Terraplane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@Terraplane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terraplane)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/167 "2010-07-16T14:42:20Z")
An airplane and pilot. Every day for lunch he brings me some ice cold beer and brisket from [Smitty’s Market](http://www.smittysmarket.com/). ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/168 "2010-07-16T14:58:48Z")
I could drive there for lunch every day if I wanted 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/169 "2010-07-16T16:13:09Z")
> [@Terraplane](#): > > An airplane and pilot. Every day for lunch he brings me some ice cold beer and brisket from [Smitty’s Market](http://www.smittysmarket.com/). Might be cheaper over time to buy Smitty’s Market. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/170 "2010-07-16T16:22:20Z")
But we’re not TALKING cheaper…besides, if Smitty feels he’s master of his own ship, he’ll keep making good brisket…if he feels he’s just another pawn, owned by somebody else, his quality might suffer. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/171 "2010-07-16T18:39:52Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Can I get you to explain how you figure using weapons on a whaling ship fits in with pacifism? If you only use it on the ship, not the crew - take out the rudder and prop, glue bombs to foul the harpoons, drill into the hull for that slow leak “man the lifeboats!” kind of impetus, that sort of thing. I’m just fine with blowing the everlivingshit out of structures and stuff, I’m only a pacifist to people. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/172 "2010-07-16T18:53:22Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > If you only use it on the ship, not the crew - take out the rudder and prop, glue bombs to foul the harpoons, drill into the hull for that slow leak “man the lifeboats!” kind of impetus, that sort of thing. I’m just fine with blowing the everlivingshit out of structures and stuff, I’m only a pacifist to people. You seem more confident of your ability to avoid collateral damage than I would be. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/173 "2010-07-16T18:55:42Z")
Well we ARE firmly in the realm of fantasy…perhaps your millions can be spent in laser targeting systems, or he can disable the boats with fuzzy teddybears… ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/174 "2010-07-16T19:15:55Z")
I would build an enchanted forest with a lake and a mountain and a babbling brook and all the colors in the Thomas Kincaid paintings. Or like Tedrassil in WoW. Without the mobs to constantly kill and loot . . . ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/175 "2010-07-16T19:29:16Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > I’d buy about ten of those Dyson fans. Oh sure, I’d get the house and the jet and the robot dolphin butlers eventually, but a $300 fan is pretty much the definition of frivolous. > > And I’m a man who loves a good fan. They’re not fans. They’re _ **air multipliers** _. The first time I saw an ad for those, I was very sleep-deprived and I could not figure out what the hell they were talking about. As for my purchases: A Chanel bag a house with a gym A trip to the Playmobil theme park jewelry laser surgery to get rid of scars ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/176 "2010-07-16T21:05:29Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Well we ARE firmly in the realm of fantasy…perhaps your millions can be spent in laser targeting systems, or he can disable the boats with fuzzy teddybears… Well, I did specify _things that actually exist_ on page 3 or so. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/177 "2010-07-16T21:31:03Z")
For the whaling thing, the money might be better spent commissioning Miyazaki to produce a masterpiece animated film about lovable cetaceans…who, three quarters of the way through, in a twist ending, are gruesomely massacred (onscreen) by Japanese whalers—maybe they could have Katsuhiro Otomo guest-direct that part. Get a staff of psychologists and/or veteran Psyops operators in on the writing staff to maximize the impact on the audience—say, “Old Yeller” times fifty. Any result less than shooting the financial bottom out of the Japanese fishing industry would be considered a failure. That or you could buy a tramp steamer and some Chinese Exocet knockoffs and go whaler-ing. An old diesel electric boat with a deck gun would be pricier, if more chivalrous, I suppose—and you’d have a hell of a lot more right to fly the Jolly Roger than the Sea Shepherds. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/178 "2010-07-25T01:39:19Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > First editions of all 12 Heinlein juveniles, in as close to mint condition as possible. Then a set in readable condition for every day use. I am intrigued. Which 12 of Heinlein’s works do you consider to be juveniles? I think there are at least thirteen and some short stories too… ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/179 "2010-07-25T02:07:07Z")
I’ll let you know in an hour after I win the 52 Mil Powerball. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2010, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440/180 "2010-07-25T04:50:07Z")
Plastic surgery. I’d shoot the works! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-come-into-a-huge-fortune-what-frivious-thing-do-you-buy/546440.md?page=10)