# You couldn't organize a \_\_\_\_ in a \_\_\_\_ **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 30, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114 "2007-01-30T15:40:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/1 "2007-01-30T15:40:39Z")
I have often heard the phrase: “You couldn’t organize a fuck in a whore house.” While watching [Hercules Returns](http://imdb.com/title/tt0107103/) one of the characters says, “You couldn’t organize a fart in a curry eating contest.” Dopers, I challenge you to use this template to create new ways to express incompetence. 😃 Enjoy! ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/2 "2007-01-30T15:52:39Z")
Good luck, but insult threads don’t generally last a real long time. Subscribe (if it still exists) to **Maladicta** , dedicated to the art of vilifying one’s fellow man. And I couldn’t organize a tea party in a dollhouse. Or a spark in a tinderbox. Or a bonfire in a lumberyard. Or a conference call at an AMWAY convention. Or an orgy at a whorehouse. Or, well, better go. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/3 "2007-01-30T15:54:07Z")
The standard one I hear is You couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/4 "2007-01-30T15:55:58Z")
How about this: “You couldn’t organize a hunger strike at a fashion show.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/5 "2007-01-30T15:59:00Z")
You couldn’t organize a Tom Cruise Cheer at a Scientology Convention ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/6 "2007-01-30T16:02:44Z")
You couldn’t organize a(n) OCD patient in a mental ward. ---
**Author:** ![Surok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Surok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surok)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/7 "2007-01-30T16:21:27Z")
‘Couldn’t organize a gang-bang in a nunnery’. Not my invention, I hasten to add. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/8 "2007-01-30T16:32:57Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] How about this: “You couldn’t organize a hunger strike at a fashion show.” [/QUOTE] Alternately: You couldn’t organize a coke line at a fashion show ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/9 "2007-01-30T16:37:56Z")
You couldn’t organise a screaming argument in a Straight Dope obesity thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fiddle\_Peghead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddle_peghead/32/3506_2.png) [@Fiddle\_Peghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiddle_Peghead)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/10 "2007-01-30T16:49:08Z")
You couldn’t organize a shower in a rainstorm. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/11 "2007-01-30T16:56:21Z")
You can’t find your ass with both hands and radar? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/12 "2007-01-30T17:00:28Z")
Three that I’ve read attributed to LBJ: “He couldn’t organize a two-car parade,” “He doesn’t know chickenshit from chicken salad,” and “He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions printed on the heel.” ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/13 "2007-01-30T17:09:43Z")
I’d like to join in, but … I can’t fill in a blank even when there are some. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/14 "2007-01-30T17:20:35Z")
[QUOTE=Least Original User Name Ever] You can’t find your ass with both hands and radar? [/QUOTE] I may or may not find my ass, but no way am I getting Gary Burghoff involved. ---
**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/15 "2007-01-30T17:34:50Z")
[QUOTE=glee] I’d like to join in, but … I can’t fill in a blank even when there are some. 😕 [/QUOTE] This has been on my mind of several days. I don’t have the skill to fill the blanks on my own, so I threw this tibit to the SDMB - gobs of clever people. 🆒 [QUOTE=saoirse] I may or may not find my ass, but no way am I getting Gary Burghoff involved. [/QUOTE] Damn my vivid imagination. _Must. . . get. . . image. . . out of head!_ ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/16 "2007-01-30T18:31:09Z")
You couldn’t organize a salad in the produce section. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/17 "2007-01-30T18:34:11Z")
[QUOTE=saoirse] I may or may not find my ass, but no way am I getting Gary Burghoff involved. [/QUOTE] Are ya sure? He’s good at finding the dumper (so I hear). ---
**Author:** ![fishbicycle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aeb1de/32.png) [@fishbicycle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fishbicycle)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/18 "2007-01-30T18:53:02Z")
You couldn’t organize a circle-jerk in a steam room. Graphic…crude…yep, it’s got everything. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/19 "2007-01-30T19:00:47Z")
You couldn’t organise a draw in a one legged ass-kicking competition. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2007, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114/20 "2007-01-30T20:15:35Z")
You couldn’t organize a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free lottery on Death Row. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-couldnt-organize-a-____-in-a-____/390114.md?page=2)