# You, Desert Island and Either Omarosa or Martha Stewart **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 18, 2004, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659 "2004-07-18T03:01:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/21 "2004-07-18T21:48:04Z")
No, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t touch 'em unless they were a sharpened rock from Tiffany’s, a Gucci coconut, and a 100% organic frou-frou aloe plant watered only with Dasani. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/22 "2004-07-18T21:50:37Z")
> [@Carnac the Magnificent!](#): > > Man, while you folks are admirably thinking Civilization 4, I’m thinking: Who do I want to have sex with for the next 10 years? > > . > > You have two choices: A resourceful, intelligent, tough-minded **senior** whose idea of sex, in all likelihood, is maybe once every three weeks, or a former beauty queen–work with me on this one, boys–who is so hyper and intensely competitive that I’m hoping she’d channel all that into marathon sex. > > My thinking is this: Once Omarosa’s admittedly underpowered psychotropic meds quickly wear off, she’ll hit rock bottom, have her Much-Needed Breakdown, and then slowly pull herself together and stop being the lying psycho bitch that she is. In the meantime, I’m figuring if I play my cards right, we’re looking at channeling her compulsivity into sex five times a week with a gal whose bod really ain’t that bad. (God forbid we don’t have a 10-year supply of BC pills.) > > Um, anybody buying my scenario? No!! A breakdown isn’t going to cure Omarosa…just render incapable of doing anything much but hitting and drooling. And did you not read my post about older women? Once every three weeks is only cuz the older guys are having trouble…Martha looks like a three-times-a-week woman minimum. Are you having trouble with women in real life? Because I think maybe we’ve located your problem! Your perceptions are a bit off, my boy. And remember what someone else said about looks…Omarosa’s got that horsey face. ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/23 "2004-07-18T22:16:59Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > What on earth makes you think that Martha would only want sex once every three weeks? Yeah, that’s way too frequent for her. Once every three years, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/24 "2004-07-18T22:47:38Z")
Martha. She’s pretty hot for someone her age, and I think she’d be reasonably easy to get along with. As for frequency, in my experience, women get more sexually demanding as they age. It’s a _good_ thing. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/13edae/32.png) [@Dewey\_Cheatem\_Undhow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Cheatem_Undhow)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/25 "2004-07-19T01:27:47Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > No, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t touch 'em unless they were a sharpened rock from Tiffany’s, a Gucci coconut, and a 100% organic frou-frou aloe plant watered only with Dasani. Dude, we’re on a _desert island_. All that crap would be 100% natural and organic, just the way she likes it. And Martha’s big on making shit from scratch. ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/26 "2004-07-19T01:57:01Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > No!! A breakdown isn’t going to cure Omarosa…just render incapable of doing anything much but hitting and drooling. And did you not read my post about older women? Once every three weeks is only cuz the older guys are having trouble…Martha looks like a three-times-a-week woman minimum. > > Are you having trouble with women in real life? Because I think maybe we’ve located your problem! Your perceptions are a bit off, my boy. And remember what someone else said about looks…Omarosa’s got that horsey face. My dear, dear, dear **kittenblue** , my experience with 63-year-old “sex kittens” is precisely equal to my experience with desert islands, leprauchans, and rippling 17-inch biceps: Zero. Re: your unkind interrogatory of my own life: No problems in the real world, at least according to the latest Gallup poll. 😉 I want to make the right choice here. We’re talking 10 long years. Give me a sturdy lean-to, a nice water view, and shelter from the odd tsunami, and I’m set. But frankly, I’m having a hard time getting past Martha strolling on the beach of my tiny little isle wearing a thong bikini. Sans top. And God forbid that I mutter “IMClone” in my sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/27 "2004-07-19T02:37:41Z")
Eh, you think she hasn’t had a boob lift and lipo? ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/28 "2004-07-19T04:05:41Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > No, she couldn’t. She wouldn’t touch 'em unless they were a sharpened rock from Tiffany’s, a Gucci coconut, and a 100% organic frou-frou aloe plant watered only with Dasani. Someone apparently never saw the Halloween episode where she made decorations out of Styrofoam balls and Glo-sticks. Or read her book on yard sale decorating. ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/29 "2004-07-19T04:50:31Z")
> [@Green Bean](#): > > Eh, you think she hasn’t had a boob lift and lipo? If you’re ready to make a confession, I’m willing to listen… ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/30 "2004-07-19T05:19:24Z")
You know, I’m not sure why I’m so eagerly arguing for Martha, because I definitely don’t like her. I guess I just really really really really DON’T like Omarosa. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 8:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/31 "2004-07-19T08:12:37Z")
Eh, if I’m trapped on an island with another woman, I ain’t gonna be having sex for ten years anyway, so who cares about Martha’s sex drive or lack thereof? That being said, I’d definitely go with Martha. As others have said, she’s got all sorts of useful skills that would help us survive, and I bet she knows enough to help me out if I get sick. Besides, we could have all sorts of interesting conversations about crafty stuff, her childhood, what prison was like, etc. What’s more, I’d believe her stories. (Whoever said they’d know half of Omarosa’s stories were bs was being awfully generous–I’d say it was more like 90%.) And I wouldn’t have to worry about her telling the world that I was a horrible racist who physically, mentally, and sexually abused her. I mean, really, who honestly thinks Omarosa wouldn’t do just that? ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/32 "2004-07-19T15:07:33Z")
The simple fact is that I would, in all likelihood, murder Omarosa in the first week, which would mean 10 years of solitude and guilt (because I believe murder is wrong, even for the lowliest of creatures) and possible legal repercussions upon rescue. So I’d have to go with Martha, who might bug me but not to the point of homicide. ---
**Author:** ![Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Carnac\_the\_Magnificent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnac_the_Magnificent)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/33 "2004-07-19T22:36:36Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > The simple fact is that I would, in all likelihood, murder Omarosa in the first week, which would mean 10 years of solitude and guilt (because I believe murder is wrong, even for the lowliest of creatures) and possible legal repercussions upon rescue. > > So I’d have to go with Martha, who might bug me but not to the point of homicide. WHOOPS! Forgot to tell you folks something. Martha gets to bring her best friends: Carrot Top and Pauly Shore 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2004, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659/34 "2004-07-19T22:51:12Z")
> [@Carnac the Magnificent!](#): > > WHOOPS! Forgot to tell you folks something. Martha gets to bring her best friends: > Carrot Top and Pauly Shore 😉 …whom Martha will deftly dispatch, debone, saute and serve. Then she’ll knit you a foraging bag out of Carrot Top’s hair, and use the rendered fat to make a nice moisturizer! It’s a good thing… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-desert-island-and-either-omarosa-or-martha-stewart/255659.md?page=1)