# You dipped your sex in my baseball! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 8, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511 "2002-04-08T16:31:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/1 "2002-04-08T16:31:58Z")
A week and change into the baseball season, and I got to thinking about the various baseball terms one hears during the game and how the phrase “pitcher’s mound” never struck me as funny before. Well, that just ain’t right. And now I can’t help it - all baseball slang sounds dirty to me. As in: **backdoor slider** – An unexpected attack of diarrhea during anal sex. \*\*bang-bang play \*\*-- Sex twice, then Yahtzee. \*\*chin music \*\*-- A queef during cunnilingus. \*\*Mendoza line \*\*-- The line of hair from the belly button to the crotch. So called because it prompts viewers to comment, “Mendoza some hairy nuts!” **moon shot** – A failed attempt at butt sex. **ribbie** – What’s on some condomies for my pleasurie. **rubber game** – Sex with a skeevy-looking pick up from a bar. **set-up man** – Mark Grace, when I watch him play and am “suddenly” interested in gettin’ some. **table setter** – I don’t know why, but this just sounds naughty to me. **touch 'em all** – What I sometimes do when it’s dark and no one’s looking. **twin killing** – Overzealous breast-squeezing. \*\*utility player \*\*-- A player who fills in at many positions, if you know what I mean. **yakker** – A spitter. Help me out here, so I can titter and snort during the color commentary while listening to the game at work. Got any more? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/2 "2002-04-08T17:26:57Z")
**frozen rope** - what my penis feels like when I think of certain DoperBabes[sup]TM[/sup]. **hummer** - I think you know this one. 😛 **double play** - when you meet two babes at a party/bar/whatever, and are able to get them _both_ home with you that night. **broken-bat single** - she didn’t have to feel _that_ strongly about not wanting to go past first base with me! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/3 "2002-04-08T17:37:06Z")
**double-header** - (insert your own dildo joke here) **suicide squeeze** - look, she told you they were really sensitive right now. But did you belive her? Noooo… **wild-pitch** - do that again and you will end up with a broken-bat single. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/4 "2002-04-08T17:37:10Z")
**dribbler** - when your ‘money shot’ is less than impressive. **Texas Leaguer** - minor-league talent. **bush-league play** - cunnilingus. **in the dirt** - anal sex. **closed/open stance** - legs crossed/uncrossed. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/5 "2002-04-08T17:40:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > **Texas Leaguer** - minor-league talent. That one’s getting back to my Houstonian boyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/6 "2002-04-08T17:49:04Z")
**Pitch a no-no** Failure to get anywhere with the babe at the end of the bar. **Breaking ball** When she gets a serious leg cramp while you’re mounting her. **Foul pole** “Geez, doesn’t that guy ever wash down there?” **Six-four-three** (I can’t come up with anything good, but it has to mean **something** dirty!) **Flashing leather** That’s a bar in the East Village, isn’t it? **Power alley** Every woman’s got one. **Power alley shot** Every man wants one. **Go to the pen** Your pen or mine, baby? **Go down in order** An orgy where everyone has to take a number. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/7 "2002-04-08T17:50:57Z")
He’s being sent down - a call to cunnilingus? Motion’s to the bullpen - autopleasuring? Splitfingered fastball - no comment That one got past the catcher - unprotected sex in the heat of the moment ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/8 "2002-04-08T17:57:05Z")
Ah, me. I always knew I loved baseball. Too bad the boyfriend would get mad if I told him I wanted to call in a reliever… ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/9 "2002-04-08T17:57:13Z")
**stretch it into a double** Twice in one night! **shortstop** A diaphragm for a small woman **fastball** Only had time for a quickie **caught stealing** Her husband came home unexpectedly **rubbing up the ball** A type of foreplay **slide under the tag** Doing it with her panties still on Oh, Lordy, we’re a sick bunch! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/10 "2002-04-08T18:00:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DAVEW0071 \* > **Foul pole** “Geez, doesn’t that guy ever wash down there?” Snort! ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/11 "2002-04-08T18:06:01Z")
bloop single - what you produce during your third ejaculation of the night. “Peter North never produced a bloop single.” can of corn - what you hope your SO didn’t eat for lunch the night she agrees to try anal sex. and that one is ought here! - What Vin Sculley no doubt sas during orgasm. inside the bag - where your ejaculate went when wearing a condom. inside the park home run - reaching orgasm through mutual masturbation. A home run is a home run, but hitting one out of the park is a pleasure all its own. the warning track - The top of her undewear. You’ll either hear “If you don’t get your hand out of there, I’ll break your arm,” or you’ll be waived home - given the green light. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/12 "2002-04-08T18:10:51Z")
**the Splendid Splinter** - not a good nickname in this case. **corking the bat** - too painful sounding to joke about. **Louisville Slugger** - what she calls her long reliever. **bunting** - really, it happens to all guys. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/13 "2002-04-08T18:15:28Z")
**Go in standing** An alternate sex position **Against the wall** See above **Knuckler** _You_ knuckle her. Last time I did that, I got my face slapped. **Toeing the rubber** Safe sex for foot fetishists **Beat the throw** Masturbation **He camps under it** Woman on top ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/14 "2002-04-08T18:29:24Z")
bat boy - one who frequents The Flashing Leather in the East Village (see above) full count - the point of no return; one more pitch and you’re done with that at bat game of pepper - a quickie no pepper - when she isn’t interested in a quickie putting one in the upper deck - giving her a peal necklace purpose pitch - the line you give her when you’re trying to get her into bed put the donut on the bat - should be self evident robbed of a home run - he’s back, back, back to the warning track…and, oh, so close…man, he was robbed. grip it across the seams - fondle her through her undewear Tinker to Evers to Chance - what happens to the drunk girl who passes out at the fraternity party pick-off move - the way she gets your hand out of her pants; see entry for Warning Track 7th inning stretch - a rest break for some water, a cigarette, and a leak ---
**Author:** ![UncleBill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d26b3c/32.png) [@UncleBill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBill)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/15 "2002-04-08T19:41:31Z")
Switch hitter – obvious The mound – mons pubis, anyone? Sliding home – a smooth insertion Pop fly – unbuttoning Levi 501’s Spring Training – foreplay Mr. October – Old guy who can still get it up All Star Break – Intermission at the porn movies Red Sox – when her flow is REALLY heavy (ewwww!) Rosin – Astroglide Slider – Astroglide coated male member Slugging percentage – how often you get some ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/16 "2002-04-08T21:15:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by UncleBill \* > \*\*The mound – mons pubis, anyone? Yeah, pitcher’s mound…hee hee. > [@](#): > > Mr. October – Old guy who can still get it up I really, really liked this one. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/17 "2002-04-08T22:24:01Z")
Pulling the ball: Digital stimulation of the scrotum. Bean ball: Undersized scrotum. Grand salami: 😃 Anybody looking for inspiration, check out [MLB’s official terminology page](http://mlb.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/mlb/baseball_basics/mlb_basics_lingo.jsp). ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/18 "2002-04-08T22:28:22Z")
I don’t even want to THINK about what a **ground ball with eyes** could turn into here… ---
**Author:** ![Great\_Dave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/46a35a/32.png) [@Great\_Dave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Dave)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/19 "2002-04-08T22:39:21Z")
**hit for the cycle** - manual, oral, vaginal, and anal ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511/20 "2002-04-08T23:41:19Z")
pop fly - premature ejaculation pop foul - premature ejaculation without penetration strike zone - translates with no real interpretation needed triple play - at least 3 orifices involved a bunt - groping breasts at Dopefests caught between the bases - a woman who is on the receiving end of a premature ejaculation slidin’ in with spikes up - oral sex with biting There is no Joy in Mudville - no orgasm on either side split finger fast ball - intercourse with manual stimulation I could go on, really, well after a little rest. 🙂 Hi Gundy! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dipped-your-sex-in-my-baseball/102511.md?page=2)