# You discover that you were switched at birth, and thus no genetic relation to your family. Reaction? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628 "2010-09-13T17:32:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/21 "2010-09-13T19:04:15Z")
I wouldn’t care, though I would want to be paid for all the genealogical work I’ve done over the years. So pay up bitches. ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/22 "2010-09-13T19:14:19Z")
I think I’d be mostly excited to get the hell out of that cancer-laden gene pool. Between three grandparents, I can cover: breast (x2), lung, skin, and stomach cancer, plus whatever those metastasized to (bone, liver, probably others). Throw in some heart disease and a hefty dose of Alzheimer’s, and I’m happy to take my chances on a new set of genes! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/23 "2010-09-13T19:41:27Z")
In that case I’d be forced to wonder: what’s with all the red hair and that odd tooth issue I shared with my mother and brother during each of our adolescences? If I’m not my parents’ biological kid, my bio parents must have been surprisingly similar-looking. But, conversely from **BetsQ** , I’d be disappointed to have missed out on those vigorous genes that kept (or in my grandma Irene’s case, have kept) my grandparents steaming along into their 80s. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/24 "2010-09-13T19:43:52Z")
Wait, is Shawn a boy cousin or a girl cousin? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/25 "2010-09-13T19:46:14Z")
I would believe it, as I was a mundane looking baby. Red hair came later. But I’d want to know what cosmic coincidences led to my younger brother from my birth family ALSO being swapped to my living family as we look pretty much identical. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/26 "2010-09-13T19:46:57Z")
“I’m not a Brewster, I’m a son of a sea cook!” ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/27 "2010-09-13T19:47:36Z")
Well, first I’d want to know how those same biological parents were in PA six years before that, with another incompetent hospital, because I look too much like my sister to not share some genes. Then I’d want to know who to be mad at for these teeth and this eyesight, if not Mom and Dad. At some point curiosity would probably send me to find out about the other family. But when all is said and done? I’m stuck with these guys for ever. Who cares about blood. We’ve had a long history of blending, one way or another, in this family, and it never made a difference whose was whose. Family is family. And weird as they are, it’s a weird I kind of like. I’d be afraid to start over with another set. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/28 "2010-09-13T19:48:08Z")
Everybody in my family is blond and light skinned, I have dark hair and tan oddly easily. When I asked my dad if I could have been adopted he said, “of course not, who would adopt you?” Yep, that’s my real Dad, no question about it. If he’s not, he should be. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/29 "2010-09-13T20:42:24Z")
> [@Darth\_Sensitive](#): > > I would believe it, as I was a mundane looking baby. Red hair came later. > > But I’d want to know what cosmic coincidences led to my younger brother from my birth family ALSO being swapped to my living family as we look pretty much identical. The rest of us are more interested in knowing who your Shawn is. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/30 "2010-09-13T23:04:28Z")
I’d need hard evidence. I simply _look_ like too much of my family; it’s painfully, painfully obvious. However, my sister did go through something similar a few years back. My dad was seriously ill. Like, on a ventilator for nearly a month ill. My sister, who was 16 at the time, saw a suspicious text message on my dad’s phone–one that indicated that he might’ve been cheating on my mother. My mom–who, to be fair, was super-stressed over everything–had a long conversation with her. Somehow, during this conversation, the notion that my sister may have been conceived during an affair that my mother had had come up. I don’t know what possessed her to mention this; again, at the time, everyone was really stressed out. This really, really upset my sister–especially since she doesn’t have the same coloring as my mom, my dad and me (she’s fair–however, if you look at my mom’s mom and my dad’s dad, it makes perfect sense). She’d been very close to our paternal grandfather before he died, and it really, really made her sad to think that she might not be “really” related to him. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that, one way or another, it didn’t matter; the people who’d been her family all her life were her family, whether or not she was related to them by blood. But I think it was pretty hard for her. I’d be much the same way, though I think the lack of accurate geneaology would bother me more than any kind of identity issues or concerns about my whether my family is genetically related to me. That being said, no freakin’ way am _I_ not my parents’ kid. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2010, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/31 "2010-09-13T23:17:48Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > I’d find that nearly impossible to believe. What are the odds of another baby girl over 8lbs with my mom’s red hair and hereditary dental problems being born at the same small hospital the same day? But anyway, if it were true, it wouldn’t change much. > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > In that case I’d be forced to wonder: what’s with all the red hair and that odd tooth issue I shared with my mother and brother during each of our adolescences? If I’m not my parents’ biological kid, my bio parents must have been surprisingly similar-looking. I think you two are siblings. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/32 "2010-09-14T00:02:36Z")
First thought: Woohoo! Second thought: Nah. I look way too much like my Dad and my siblings. Seeing a picture of my elder sister Barbara after 15 years apart was a bit disconcerting, she looked so much like me. So I’d be very interested as to how I managed to look so much like them. And I’d want to know who my ‘biological’ family was and why the switch occurred. It’d be great, overall. (I actually wrote a story about this once. It started out as wish-fulfillment and became something more as I started to explore how someone would really feel in that situation). > [@needscoffee](#): > > > [@elfkin477](#): > > > > I’d find that nearly impossible to believe. What are the odds of another baby girl over 8lbs with my mom’s red hair and hereditary dental problems being born at the same small hospital the same day? But anyway, if it were true, it wouldn’t change much. > > > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > > > In that case I’d be forced to wonder: what’s with all the red hair and that odd tooth issue I shared with my mother and brother during each of our adolescences? If I’m not my parents’ biological kid, my bio parents must have been surprisingly similar-looking. > > I think you two are siblings. If they were in the same town, it could be a Midwich cuckoos situation. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/33 "2010-09-14T00:11:23Z")
Well, I’d be glad not to have the shitty muscular dystrophy genes. (I don’t have the disease…yet, maybe.) But I’d be pretty skeptical. I look like my dad in drag, so I’m pretty sure that’s who I came from. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/34 "2010-09-14T00:20:33Z")
Well, at least I’m related to my kids. (I think…nah, they’re from my loins, they’re too weird to NOT be.) ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/35 "2010-09-14T00:44:44Z")
I wouldnt care but would have worried a bit how my family would react if this happened when I was younger - just because Im OK with it doesnt mean they will be. Now theres only my dad and sisters, and they’re both miles away so it would hurt if they did react in an unhoped for way but life would go on. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/36 "2010-09-14T00:55:13Z")
Can’t be true for me - people used to mistake my younger brother for me all the time (up into our early 20s) and we look way too much like my father to be unrelated. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/37 "2010-09-14T00:58:47Z")
Well, they at least would all have an explanation as to why I am so much more obnoxious than those milquetoasts. At least my bro and sis will still have the same blood type. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/38 "2010-09-14T01:08:35Z")
My first response was : that explains it! Seriously, I know that I belong to my mother because people in her hometown in Germany never had to ask if I was her daughter, they already knew from the way I looked whose daughter I was! My dad used to joke that the only thing I got from him was my crooked pinky fingers. Neither of my sisters looks like me, nor do they look like each other, though my younger sister and I sound quite a bit alike. Basically, I’d have to see DNA before I’d believe it. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/39 "2010-09-14T01:17:12Z")
I am more or less the female version of my father looks-wise, so there is not even the remotest possibility, but no, I wouldn’t care. Family is all about the people you come home to, not the people whose DNA you are built from. ---
**Author:** ![chizzuk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@chizzuk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chizzuk)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/40 "2010-09-14T01:50:48Z")
I’d be pretty surprised. Much as I hate to admit it, I’m a lot like my parents and extended family. Now, discovering that my brother was not related to us would be less of a surprise. I don’t think it would change how I view the relationship. They raised me, they gave me unconditional love (and a whole bunch of other things), I know they’d do anything to help and protect me, and thus I’d still feel they were my parents. Who else would be? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628.md?page=3)