# You discover that you were switched at birth, and thus no genetic relation to your family. Reaction? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 13, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628 "2010-09-13T17:32:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/41 "2010-09-14T02:12:42Z")
Yay! I can finally distance myself from these turkeys! ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/42 "2010-09-14T02:18:57Z")
I’d need actual DNA evidence. I have honest-to-god been mistaken for my mother in (admittedly bad) pictures, also bear a definite resemblance to my father, and share so many traits with them there’s _got_ to be some genetic connection. The odds of not being related but coincidentally inheriting both their shortness, my mother’s overall petiteness, dad’s bad knees, mom’s sunburn-in-an-instant skin, lactose intolerance from both of them, and eye and dental problems that, if you split up, they both have…well, pretty short odds. That said, even if we’re living in a bizarro world and it turns out I’m not biologically related - so what? They still raised me from birth, made sure I had a safe place and enough food and all that, made me do my homework, and helped me go through college. My loyalty to them isn’t the product of knowing we share the same genetic material, but the fact that they spent eighteen years making sure I was taken care of. ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/43 "2010-09-14T02:27:30Z")
Another vote for “we look too much alike not to be related” with a big handful of “and if we aren’t related, screw it, we’re still family” And frankly, due to geographic diversity, I don’t know any of my cousins well enough to be either relieved or sorry not to be more closely related. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/44 "2010-09-14T02:32:26Z")
I’d be dang surprised, given that I am my mother’s clone in many ways (not physically, actually, I take after Dad’s side). Also us kids are…similar? It’s not like with some families, where everyone looks alike, but we’re clearly related in our oddballity. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Sensitive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/58956e/32.png) [@Darth\_Sensitive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Sensitive)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/45 "2010-09-14T02:43:09Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@Darth\_Sensitive](#): > > > > I would believe it, as I was a mundane looking baby. Red hair came later. > > > > But I’d want to know what cosmic coincidences led to my younger brother from my birth family ALSO being swapped to my living family as we look pretty much identical. > > The rest of us are more interested in knowing who your Shawn is. 😃 Well, nobody in actuality, as I’m a smartass. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/46 "2010-09-14T03:04:32Z")
Well it might explain some things. I’d be really interested to find out who I was biologically related to, and what happened to that other guy who grew up with them. ---
**Author:** ![installLSC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@installLSC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/installLSC)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/47 "2010-09-14T04:29:27Z")
Voted “wouldn’t give a flip”. My dad deserted my family when I was just four months old, so I only think of him as my dad in the biological sense. That meant the notions of biological parents and actual parents have long been seperated in my mind, so finding out my mom wasn’t my “real” mom wouldn’t affect me in the slightest. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/48 "2010-09-14T06:39:42Z")
Couldn’t be true. I’ve inherited a very specific assortments of diseases and disorders from both sides of the family. But if it really were true, for better or worse it wouldn’t change anything. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/49 "2010-09-14T06:49:38Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > > [@elfkin477](#): > > > > I’d find that nearly impossible to believe. What are the odds of another baby girl over 8lbs with my mom’s red hair and hereditary dental problems being born at the same small hospital the same day? But anyway, if it were true, it wouldn’t change much. > > > [@matt\_mcl](#): > > > > In that case I’d be forced to wonder: what’s with all the red hair and that odd tooth issue I shared with my mother and brother during each of our adolescences? If I’m not my parents’ biological kid, my bio parents must have been surprisingly similar-looking. > > I think you two are siblings. No, but Matt, your dad’s name isn’t Raymond is it? I have an uncle who fleed bigamy charges by going up to Canada…no one’s heard from him in 30 years, and he already had a lot of kids, so you never know. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/50 "2010-09-14T06:56:27Z")
Given that I’ve got much of my mother’s looks and her voice, but people have asked whether I was related to my father based on how I think (I’m talking about logical analysis, which can be learned only up to a point), I’d be pretty surprised. I’ve got relatives I love, others I don’t. Thankfully the one I didn’t want to be within 1000 miles of died last month. Apparently that helluve nice, handsome, smart guy with a sense of humor similar to mine but who happened to be my second cousin died in a car accident, but I’m not sure Mom has her data right… it might be worth it to look him up and see whether he is available or not (both biologically and socially). ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/51 "2010-09-14T07:12:05Z")
Having known I was adopted for as long as I can remember, I can’t imagine what it would feel like to discover that as an adult. There are a lot of people in this thread being awfully blase about it, stating it wouldn’t make a difference, but there would still be a hell of a shock - if only the fact that something about you has been kept secret from you for your whole life. Even though I always knew I was adopted, and it was always presented as something normal, I still went through a period of ‘I don’t belong here,’ ‘Who are my “real” family,’ etc along with the usual teen angst. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Cat\_Z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Little\_Cat\_Z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Cat_Z)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/52 "2010-09-14T07:46:10Z")
I’m adopted. So, this happened. My adopted family has a bunch of alcoholics, manic-depressives, fat people, and psychopaths. Now that I have discovered my birth family, they are much the same. (More alcoholics, not as many fat people.) ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/53 "2010-09-14T14:26:36Z")
> [@Darth\_Sensitive](#): > > > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > > The rest of us are more interested in knowing who your Shawn is. 😃 > > Well, nobody in actuality, as I’m a smartass. Which means you actually answered in the spirit of the OP! ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/54 "2010-09-14T16:06:49Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > > [@needscoffee](#): > > > > I think you two are siblings. > > No, but Matt, your dad’s name isn’t Raymond is it? I have an uncle who fleed bigamy charges by going up to Canada…no one’s heard from him in 30 years, and he already had a lot of kids, so you never know. Uh… no, thank heavens, it’s not. And my dad married my mom more than thirty years ago, and we know his siblings, so at least there’s that. _whew_ (not that I’d mind being related to you, but… well, you know.) As for you, **elfkin** , your great-grandfather wasn’t Korean, was he? ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/55 "2010-09-14T19:26:41Z")
Both personality-wise and physically, I so closely resemble both of my parents that any suggestion we’re not related by blood would be met with hysterical laughter by all three of us. Were that not the case, I think I would be shocked, but eventually pragmatism would kick in. After all, we’ve _behaved_ like family all these years, so what difference would it make? My perspective may be affected by the fact that I have two cousins who were adopted. They’re of Latin ethnicity and my family is Italian/Irish by blood, so there was never any idea of hiding their origins. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/56 "2010-09-14T20:30:52Z")
I have selected two responses: I want documentation, depositions, polygraphs, and DNA testing before I believe this. Sorry. Just can’t be true. Prove it to me and I still won’t believe it. 1.) I’d need to see a massive amount of documentation first, because I’m sure it would reveal that there was some mistake and I’d want to prove that you were wrong. 2.) Even if you showed me a mound of evidence, my ultimate conclusion would be that it was all faked. There is way too much physical resemblance between me and the members of my family, not to mention other less-concrete things like similarity of personality, the fact that the blood types match up right, and the way that certain medical conditions have been passed on. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/57 "2010-09-14T23:07:53Z")
My first thought was _relief_ because there are an excessive number of heritable conditions on both sides of my family that I’d rather avoid. But, I had to check the answer that needed documentation because I’ve already manifested some of those conditions. ---
**Author:** ![Enuma\_Elish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Enuma\_Elish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enuma_Elish)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/58 "2010-09-15T21:07:38Z")
I’m too old to go looking for more crazy relatives. I’ll just stick with the ones I’ve got. (Or thought I had…) ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/59 "2010-09-15T21:24:30Z")
A heck of a lot of crap would suddenly make sense. I voted that I suspected it. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628/60 "2010-09-16T00:08:51Z")
I dislike most of my family and don’t spend any time with anyone but my siblings, but there’s just no way I’m not related to my mom and dad. I would assume the ‘proof’ was lies. I look SO much like my father but have some distinctive features that are just as clearly inherited from mom (we have identically weird feet, for one). My sisters both look very much like both parents as well, and all three of us have almost the exact same figures (a rather rare type) and noses. Plus we all share many non-physical traits… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-discover-that-you-were-switched-at-birth-and-thus-no-genetic-relation-to-your-family-reaction/553628.md?page=4)