# You don't even know me! Fuck off with your cyberhugs! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278 "2001-04-08T21:32:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/1 "2001-04-08T21:32:30Z")
Now, i have nothing against people who’ve built up a relationship on the net and are therefore justified in their virtual touchy-feeliness. But when i enter a chat room i do **not** want to be greeted thus: ((((((((Fran))))))))) fuckofffuckofffuckoff You don’t know me. You don’t care about me. If i died tomorrow you’d maybe shrug slightly. But that’s besides the point - you wouldn’t fucking know if i died tomorrow because _we have no kind of relationship_. Do you understand, you demented Oprah-loving touchy-feely phone-a-friend-on-a-£10-question fuckwit? It’s parenthesis, that’s all. It’s meaningless and empty. I gain nothing, and more importantly - you give nothing. It’s false intimacy, fake friendship and synthetic empathy. I’m instantly forgetable, you’re instantly forgetable, we’re all faceless strangers in a nonexistant room. Fran The Bleak ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/2 "2001-04-08T21:49:37Z")
Don’t feel too bad, Fran. I dislike cyberhugs, too… but that’s just my anal-retentive self. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/3 "2001-04-08T21:59:31Z")
Hell, might as well get this out of the way before this thread drags on. ((((((Fran)))))) 🙂 Have a nice day! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Fletch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/919ad9/32.png) [@Fletch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fletch)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/4 "2001-04-08T21:59:37Z")
Okey Dokey an unhug: ))))))Frannie(((((( I don’t care for cyber hugs, “have a nice day”, or other meaningless statements either. P.S. I don’t care what kind of day you are having. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/5 "2001-04-08T22:17:41Z")
and I’m a very huggy-touchy-feely person in real life…but I think cyberhugs are probably the lamest, most synthetic sort of cheap, fake intimacy possible, as well. Very particularly when they are tossed around as a simple greeting! At least save them for some expression of fake, cheap sympathy! But then, that’s what you get for hanging around in \* chat rooms, \* Fran! What the hell do you expect? Chat rooms, especially popular, crowded ones, filled with the sort of people who give cyberhugs as a greeting, have got to be the most life-sucking form of human interaction there is. Save yourself before it’s too late…do NOT go in there again. \ stoid ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/6 "2001-04-08T22:25:26Z")
Well… if I ever see you in a chat room, you can rest assured that I will greet you with “Get the fuck out of here you unfriendly, ungreatful skank! Suck my dick you dirty, cunt!! No body fucking wants you in here, so go away!!!” How’s that? Better? ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/7 "2001-04-08T22:42:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\*But then, that’s what you get for hanging around in \* chat rooms, \* Fran! What the hell do you expect? Chat rooms, especially popular, crowded ones, filled with the sort of people who give cyberhugs as a greeting, have got to be the most life-sucking form of human interaction there is. Save yourself before it’s too late…do NOT go in there again. \ > \*\* ::hangs head in shame:: It was late, there was whisky. It was a moment of madness and i feel dirty now. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/8 "2001-04-08T22:50:51Z")
You’re pissed off by a few cyberhugs? The last time I frequented the chatroom, **Monster104** was cyber-ejaculating. In the general direction of people. Gimme a good cyberhug anyday. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/9 "2001-04-08T23:09:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*You’re pissed off by a few cyberhugs? The last time I frequented the chatroom, **Monster104** was cyber-ejaculating. In the general direction of people. > \*\* What, like this? ~º ~ºColdfireº~ º~ Sorry, man… here, use my kleenex… ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2001, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/10 "2001-04-08T23:14:05Z")
> [@](#): > > What, like this? > > ~º ~ºColdfireº~ º~ > > Sorry, man… here, use my kleenex… Dammit! I just blew hot coffee out my nose! Ouch!! {{Coldfire}} I’m sorry you got spooged on! ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/11 "2001-04-09T00:18:59Z")
> [@](#): > > The last time I frequented the chatroom, Monster104 was cyber-ejaculating. He wasn’t just cyber-ejaculating, Coldy… we had to buy a new keyboard after that. I don’t even want to mention what he did to the dog… ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/12 "2001-04-09T00:34:20Z")
I only do the hug thing when it’s a.)a sympathy thing or b.) when it’s someone I haven’t seen in a LOOOONG time. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/13 "2001-04-09T01:42:48Z")
\*\* Eeeeeeewwwwwwww \*\* Oh, and you can greet me any way you like if you ever see me in a chat room. If I am ever found in a chat room, you may assume that I have given up the will to live, I am filled with self-loathing, and have entered said location with the specific desire to have as much scorn as possible heaped upon me… So feel free. 😃 stoid ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/14 "2001-04-09T01:47:54Z")
> [@](#): > > If I am ever found in a chat room, you may assume that I have given up the will to live, I am filled with self-loathing, and have entered said location with the specific desire to have as much scorn as possible heaped upon me I imagine you’ll go to a “Yay For Dubya!” chatroom for this purpose, eh? ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/15 "2001-04-09T02:01:16Z")
Some of my favorite people use cyber-hugs, but I’m with you, Fran. They irritate me. Especially when they are like this: ////Green Bean\\ To me, that just looks like there is a dog leaning on either side of a person. (Not a bad thing, but not a hug either) p.s. I’m a hugger IRL. ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/16 "2001-04-09T07:32:43Z")
Cyberhugs, smiley faces, emoticons, what-the-fuck-ever! They’re only necessary for those with only a rudimentary knowledge of language. You want to express affection toward someone, then tell them so in a complete sentence. You know, the standard type with nouns and verbs. You want to express your displeasure toward someone who’s pissing you off, tell them so with the rich langauge you’ve been learning since grade school. Same goes for those fawking abbreviations, such as ROFL. If you really were rolling on the floor laughing, you wouldn’t be typing that on you keyboard, now, would you? If it made you laugh, go ahead and say so, but leave the goddamn abbreviations to the U.S. military. And, no, Francesca, I haven’t got the slightest idea who you are. But I’d buy you a beer if we were in the same bar. Sometimes, it’s good to be a little surly. ---
**Author:** ![jack\_ss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c77e96/32.png) [@jack\_ss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jack_ss)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/17 "2001-04-09T08:11:07Z")
Y0, cUz,i H8 It whEn mOrOnz tYpE lIkE thIs EvEn w0rsE, Which is why I don’t go to chat rooms. I apologise for not knowing how to do links yet, but go here: [http://www.oldmanmurray.com/kthor/](http://www.oldmanmurray.com/kthor/) and check out the Amber section. The only reason I can think of to do chats is to bait, which may say more about me than I want. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/18 "2001-04-09T12:50:42Z")
Sheesh, straight people! Don’t you guys know the only reason to go to a chatroom is to troll for sex? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/19 "2001-04-09T12:54:03Z")
When I say “troll,” I mean as in “looking for a quick hookup,” not in the “be really annoying” sense. Not that _I’ve_ ever done that, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2001, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278/20 "2001-04-09T13:04:41Z")
I’m glad you cleared that up, **goboy** ; I was envisioning a conversation along the lines of “Well, okay, I’ll sleep with you – but only if you go online and posting inane comments first. That really gets me hot!” :eek: I only hug IRL, but for you **Francesca** I’d make an exception. Except that you said not to. Oh well. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-even-know-me-fuck-off-with-your-cyberhugs/61278.md?page=2)