# You don't know anything! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2011, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674 "2011-04-08T15:49:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/21 "2011-04-08T18:49:14Z")
Hi fellow NIHers. You must be at the wrong institute. I wouldn’t say we’ve received a torrent of info but we have received as much info as possibly can be known, given the circumstances from senior staff. And yea, I am “non-essential” too. That certainly makes me feel really good. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/22 "2011-04-08T18:51:21Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > I heard that Congress is working on it, but nobody’s sure what’s going to happen. Can anyone confirm that rumor? Yes. I can definitely confirm that this is, in fact, a rumor. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/23 "2011-04-08T18:54:47Z")
“And in other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco still dead.” ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/24 "2011-04-08T19:05:07Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > “And in other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco still dead.” But is there any truth in the rumour that he plans to return to life, go to Washington, and act as a moderating influence on the GOP? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/25 "2011-04-08T19:09:37Z")
Sure, why not? ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/26 "2011-04-08T19:31:51Z")
Couldn’t hurt, at this point. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/27 "2011-04-08T19:41:20Z")
On the flip side, I’ve been told that I won’t be coming to work on Monday. Also, I shouldn’t come to work on Monday. Oh, and I shouldn’t come to work on Monday. But that I shouldn’t come to work on Monday. I thought I should come to work on Monday, I shouldn’t. On Monday, I should not come to work. Oh, and if they pass a bill this weekend, then come to work on Monday. But if they do, in fact, pass a bill this weekend, I should come to work on Monday. Additionally, if they pass the bill over the weekend, I should come to work on Monday. And in the event that a bill is passed on, say, Saturday or Sunday, that I should come to work on Monday. OK, I GET IT! ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/28 "2011-04-08T19:42:47Z")
Maybe you should just stay home on Monday. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/29 "2011-04-08T19:55:31Z")
Unless, of course, they pass a bill. But what are the odds? I mean, today is Friday. And the next day is Saturday. And after that comes Sunday. They gotta get it down on Friday. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/30 "2011-04-08T20:13:30Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > On the flip side, I’ve been told that I won’t be coming to work on Monday. Really? We were told everyone was to report on Monday morning to receive official written notification that they are being furloughed. Being in the DC area, that could mean over an hour drive for a 2 minute transaction. Brilliant. I fully expect these legislative morons to get it done on Sunday to avoid more than a weekend shutdown. We shall see… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/31 "2011-04-08T20:27:04Z")
Holy shit, it’s going to (already has?) cost more than the budgeting boondoggle itself just in all the memos and messages and official written notifications. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/32 "2011-04-08T20:43:07Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Really? We were told everyone was to report on Monday morning to receive official written notification that they are being furloughed. Being in the DC area, that could mean over an hour drive for a 2 minute transaction. Brilliant. My missus is an administrator who _does_ know at least some of which people are going to be declared non-essential. She wanted to tell them today and save them the commute on Monday. Permission denied. Asinine. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/33 "2011-04-08T20:56:12Z")
My sister in law is a government attorney and she has been told not to log onto her computer if the government shuts down (its a firing offense) and that the government will be paying for her health insurance durign the shutdown. Her boss has to show up at work with no promise of being paid. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveyearlurker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@Fiveyearlurker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveyearlurker)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/34 "2011-04-08T21:13:18Z")
> [@mischievous](#): > > Well, _that’s_ freakin’ helpful. > > To add to the nightmare, many (possibly most) workers at the NIH are “post-doctoral fellows”, which technically aren’t federal employees - we’re “trainees”, despite Ph.D.s and years of biology experience. We don’t get federal benefits and we’re paid by independent “taxable grants”, rather than salaries. This might mean we’re exempt, since our grants are appropriated at the beginning of the year, or it might mean we’re not exempt, since “trainees” can’t be here without supervision, or it might mean that if we’re furloughed we can’t get back wages, since we aren’t employees. Or it might mean something else. It means you are a postdoc and not a single person has your best interests at heart except for you! (from a former postdoc) ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/35 "2011-04-08T21:25:08Z")
> [@gravitycrash](#): > > So are you an essential worker or non-essential worker? > > I’ve never understood that term, and who decides that anyway? It’s like the old Dilbert cartoon: [There’s been a serious snowfall. The Pointy-Haired Boss is talking to his secretary.] **PHB** : Send an email saying that only essential personnel should show up. [beat] **PHB** : Fire anyone who stays home. ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/36 "2011-04-08T22:17:47Z")
Well, _awesome_. Our lab heads went to a meeting where they were told that any postdocs engaged in ongoing research for the government that would be damaged by a shutdown could show up to work, but no new projects should be initiated. This would be all of us, naturally, since doing ongoing research for the government is what we’re here for. Yay! Meanwhile, we all get an email saying that postdocs are explicitly forbidden from showing up after midnight tonight. Any postdocs planning on going to conferences (including the major one starting _tomorrow_ in D.C.) must cancel. Boo! After this, an email was sent out to lab heads that they could request any postdoc be designated as essential. Yay! So now we have an abundance of guidelines… which conflict. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/37 "2011-04-08T22:35:48Z")
We have to come in on Monday for no more than four hours, to effect an orderly shutdown. After that, we can check our blackberries for no more than fifteen minutes per day, to make sure that nothing is popping in any of our cases (we’re lawyers). If they don’t work it out this weekend (and their public pronouncements seem to be moving farther apart), this could stretch on for a long time. I can easily see one side or the other deciding that since it’s gone as far as a shutdown, they might as well dig in their heels. ---
**Author:** ![Vlad\_Igor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Vlad\_Igor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vlad_Igor)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/38 "2011-04-08T23:33:00Z")
If you could link your work to the SAs at Ft. Detrick, there would be no question as to whether or not you’d be furloughed… ---
**Author:** ![mischievous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@mischievous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mischievous)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/39 "2011-04-09T00:09:13Z")
And, to add to the joy, the NIH is going to shut down Pubmed.:eek: I’m assuming this is a mechanism for the NIH to show how important it is - every university, every medical center, every hospital, every freaking biologist/doctor/interested layperson in the **WORLD** uses Pubmed. Does anyone know if Google Scholar keeps a separate database of all of the info that pubmed has, or do they just act as a search engine for the pubmed database? ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2011, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674/40 "2011-04-09T00:40:22Z")
Shut down Pubmed??? As in adding no new articles or turning it off??? Oh, I’m faculty at a state college. At the state level I’m nonessential. Y’know, faculty, at a college. Looks like Google Scholar is just a search, not a database. Sorry. ☹ Oh, I’m really sorry for all you guys. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-anything-shut-up-shut-up-shut-up/577674.md?page=3)