# You don't know how to do my job, so quit telling me how to do it! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443 "2005-06-01T20:37:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/21 "2005-06-02T02:11:50Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > Not a big deal, but it just seemed like a silly question, when it was actually pretty clear in the OP. Not really, I missed it the first time also. I read this sentence several times: > [@](#): > > You only got this job because you’re fucking my vice president, and she was able to manipulate the system so that you would be under her chain of command. I assume the sentence was constructed poorly with mismatched pronouns. About the third time through another explanation presented itself. For those of us who do not think in terms of homosexual relationships every day, the immediate image conjured by the phrase “fucking your boss” is that of a a hetero couple. Sorry if that seems unenlightened, but it was probably less than clear to a large segment of the readers. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/22 "2005-06-02T02:35:15Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > Not really, I missed it the first time also. I read this sentence several times:I assume the sentence was constructed poorly with mismatched pronouns. About the third time through another explanation presented itself. For those of us who do not think in terms of homosexual relationships every day, the immediate image conjured by the phrase “fucking your boss” is that of a a hetero couple. Sorry if that seems unenlightened, but it was probably less than clear to a large segment of the readers. Then today you’ve been enlightened to the fact that fucking doesn’t necessarily involve a penis, actual penetration, or hetereosexuality and can just be a gender neutral euphemism for carrying on a sexual relationship. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/23 "2005-06-02T02:44:23Z")
Lord Ashtar…I feel your pain. Been there, done that and gots the tee shirt. -XT ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/24 "2005-06-02T02:48:02Z")
Yeticus Rex: > [@](#): > > I really could care less if they were lesbians, bisexual, transgendered, or poor wording on the OP’s part. …So then you’re saying you DO care. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/25 "2005-06-02T02:53:12Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > Then today you’ve been enlightened to the fact that fucking doesn’t necessarily involve a penis, actual penetration, or hetereosexuality and can just be a gender neutral euphemism for carrying on a sexual relationship. Perhaps, but I doubt if that will be the first thing that pops into my head next time I contemplate fucking. As I said, it came to me on the third read, so the concept is not entirely foreign to me. It is just a little further down the list of possibilities I consider when I hear that word. ---
**Author:** ![StephenG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@StephenG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StephenG)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/26 "2005-06-02T03:01:09Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > There are a lot of people who think that the mere knowledge that someone is gay/bi/lesbian entitles them to find out who is inserting what into what orifice, and how often. Don’t be one of those people. _claps_ Very nicely put! **Lord Ashtar** , may I hijack this to talk shop a bit? I completely feel your pain! I recently signed on as a Helpdesk Manager, but my company has a truly horrendous ticket system. We’re using a program by Mercury called Defect Tracker, but my boss and I are hoping to convince them to switch to an Outlook-based ticket system. Can I ask what program you folks use? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/27 "2005-06-02T03:07:25Z")
> [@elfbabe](#): > > Let’s look at that again and try to imagine a world in which that question is appropriate: “Who’s got the strap-on to do the fucking, and who’s on the receiving end?” Well, if you were on the set of an all-girl porno film… Outside of that, I got nothin’. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/28 "2005-06-02T03:17:11Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > About the third time through another explanation presented itself. For those of us who do not think in terms of homosexual relationships every day, the immediate image conjured by the phrase “fucking your boss” is that of a a hetero couple. Sorry if that seems unenlightened, but it was probably less than clear to a large segment of the readers. Actually, the problem is that the immediate image conjured up by _any_ mention of a relationship is that of a heterosexual one – to the point, as you can see, where even specifying the genders is not necessarily specific. (Like the time my Italian teacher took me aside after class to make sure that, yes, indeed, I meant _il mio ragazzo_ and not _la mia ragazza_.) As you can appreciate, this is something we would like people to overcome. Lack of astonishment, as suggested by my original post, would be the second step. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/29 "2005-06-02T03:32:31Z")
Okay, they’re both female and they’re fucking each other. We get it. Meanwhile, back at the ranch … **Lord Ashtar** , you don’t perhaps work for a large energy management controls manufacturer in the Dallas area, do you? This situation sounds oddly familiar. So in your dealings with the twit, have you tried the monosyllabic approach? Every question gets met with a simple yes/no response. Pretty soon they get the hint. Or not. Either way, you don’t waste any words on them. After all, you might really need those words later, but you’ve already used them up on the **Impenetrable Bulwark of Ignorance[sup]TM[/sup]**. I look at it this way; Trying to explain technical matters to a non-techie is like trying to explain to a dog how it’s food gets into the can. They look really interested, but you know they’re never going to get it. Sometimes, they even cock their heads to one side. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/30 "2005-06-02T03:50:20Z")
> [@SteveG1](#): > > But sometimes, the spiders are the better alternative. They don’t talk your ear off, and you can flick them across the room or squash them. And, on some days, with some users, you have a sneaking suspicion that the spiders might be smarter… > [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Hah, I call whoosh on you. And, on some very bad days, you suspect the spiders might be smarter than you are… :o ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/31 "2005-06-02T03:58:51Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > Trying to explain technical matters to a non-techie is like trying to explain to a dog how it’s food gets into the can. They look really interested, but you know they’re never going to get it. Sometimes, they even cock their heads to one side. 🙂 **Rhubarb** , that is just absolutely brilliant! Thanks for brightening my day 😃 Max. ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/32 "2005-06-02T04:04:32Z")
> [@Maxxxie](#): > > **Rhubarb** , that is just absolutely brilliant! Thanks for brightening my day 😃 > > Max. Thanks! I stole it so long ago I can’t even remember where I got it. But thinking about some of my customers and cow-orkers this way does help me through the day occasionally. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/33 "2005-06-02T13:26:20Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > **Lord Ashtar** , I like this rant. It has a calm fury to it. Like something you can almost picture yourself really saying, which isn’t really true with the elaborate cussfests one often finds in the Pit. Ah, high compliments from a respected poster! I thank you. The calm fury might come from the fact that I wrote this as soon as she left my office, and she sits two doors down from me. > [@ultrafilter](#): > > I’d lay good odds that the company policy is against an employee living with someone in his or her chain of command, regardless of what might be going on behind closed doors. Bingo. > [@StephenG](#): > > **Lord Ashtar** , may I hijack this to talk shop a bit? I completely feel your pain! I recently signed on as a Helpdesk Manager, but my company has a truly horrendous ticket system. We’re using a program by Mercury called Defect Tracker, but my boss and I are hoping to convince them to switch to an Outlook-based ticket system. Can I ask what program you folks use? It’s a program we wrote in house. The user sends an email in to the support address, and it logs a ticket. An email is then sent to each of us. If it’s one of mine, I go in and assign it to myself, put their request in technical terms, do it, then close it out. Pretty simple, but I’ve never used another program so I can’t really compare. > [@Rhubarb](#): > > Trying to explain technical matters to a non-techie is like trying to explain to a dog how it’s food gets into the can. They look really interested, but you know they’re never going to get it. Sometimes, they even cock their heads to one side. 🙂 Nicely put. There was even a point during our conversation where her head did cock to one side. I may even print this out and frame it to put up in my office. * * * And just to set the record straight (heh), my boss is a woman. The **Impenetrable Bulwark of Ignorance[sup]TM[/sup]** (thanks again, **Rhubarb** ) is also a woman. They fuck. I’m quite sure that makes them lesbians, or at least bi. I didn’t realize it would confuse anyone. If I ever rant about either of these two again, I’ll make it really clear that they are both gay. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/34 "2005-06-02T13:37:35Z")
> [@Yeticus Rex](#): > > How did you find out anyways, **Ashtar**? Almost missed this. You know how when a guy and a girl in the same office are having an affair and it’s totally obvious? It’s the same when it’s a girl and another girl. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/35 "2005-06-02T16:58:45Z")
Again, my apologies to all (especially to **Lord Ashtar** ) for my stupid hijack about what constitutes “fucking”…I’ll bow out now and lurk this thread from here on out. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/36 "2005-06-02T17:02:13Z")
> [@Yeticus Rex](#): > > Again, my apologies to all (especially to **Lord Ashtar** ) for my stupid hijack about what constitutes “fucking”…I’ll bow out now and lurk this thread from here on out. You still haven’t apologised for saying “could care less” instead of “couldn’t care less.” And all the rest of you superior-acting, know-it-all techies; get back under my desk where you belong and shut up. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/37 "2005-06-02T17:28:30Z")
> [@JillGat](#): > > And all the rest of you superior-acting, know-it-all techies; get back under my desk where you belong and shut up. Que the “Wocka-Wocka” porn music… ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/38 "2005-06-02T17:31:30Z")
Or “Cue” It’s not always about me, I know. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/39 "2005-06-02T17:42:37Z")
Having been in IT for 14 years at my current employer, including 6 years as Help Desk manager, I got a million of them. But just today, in my own department… An e-mail goes out to world-wide IT concerning server moves this weekend. The phrase that pays is > [@](#): > > The system will be completely unavailable during the above window. This includes access from within the office or remotely via Citrix or Blue Ridge. Cow-orker Analyst (yes, the same one I [wrote about here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6178816&postcount=44)) does a Reply to All asking “Will dial-up networking be available during this period?” Ah, what part of Completely unavailable and This includes access from within the office or remotely via Citrix or Blue Ridge do you not understand?? But the Reply to All was a nice touch, so everyone knows you’re an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443/40 "2005-06-02T17:46:40Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > I look at it this way; Trying to explain technical matters to a non-techie is like trying to explain to a dog how it’s food gets into the can. They look really interested, but you know they’re never going to get it. Sometimes, they even cock their heads to one side. 🙂 [hypersenstive mode] You know, maybe you should change it from “non-techie” to “stupid person”. [/hypersenstive mode] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-know-how-to-do-my-job-so-quit-telling-me-how-to-do-it/306443.md?page=3)