# You don't text message break up! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 3, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827 "2009-07-03T17:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/21 "2009-07-04T00:20:37Z")
[Could be worse.](http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1549#comic) ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/22 "2009-07-04T04:01:57Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Having just been dumped, I say that the good thing about this scenario is at least you have something to be really angry about. My sweetie dumped me (proper like, over the phone at least) but the way he laid it out there are no grounds for me to be mad at him. > > If I’d been dumped over text at least I could be all “Oh no you didn’t! What a tool! Wait till I tell my friends what a jackass you are!” and I could feel better. > > So, you got that goin’ for ya. The dude you tried to play strip magic with dumped you? Do you have two heads? ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/23 "2009-07-04T04:35:00Z")
Christmas in Marine boot camp. A depressing time and place at best. A guy in my platoon got a Christmas card from his girlfriend…which contained a Dear John letter. ---
**Author:** ![Casserole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b77776/32.png) [@Casserole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casserole)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/24 "2009-07-04T14:51:28Z")
I’ve been dumped over email once. This was back before text messages because the norm, but I bet if it were a year or two later, she would’ve texted me instead. Worst part is, she left me, a person she’d met, for someone she found online, in a chat room, who lived halfway across the country. Yeouch. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/25 "2009-07-04T15:17:28Z")
Some people feel trapped in a relationship, unable to break away especially with the other person there, though they desire to. Usually it is the type that mimics something like the Stockholm syndrome. If that is the only way someone who feels somehow held captive must do it then at least they have that method open to them. It does sound, from very limited info, like it was a tormenting issue, causing sleeplessness to the point that pressure built enough to break away. It is not a good type of relationship, though from your username it may be the type you desired. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/26 "2009-07-04T15:40:45Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > having to spend the next ten hours at work fuming about it before I got a chance **to call and actually DISCUSS everything**. Why? > [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > After not being in contact for a week, I finally catch him online and practically beg him for a meeting so we could at least talk. Why? Not that I’m condoning the text/email breakup, I’m not. It’s a shitty, cowardly thing to do. Buy why on earth would you chase this shitty, cowardly person down so they can waste some more of your time? ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/27 "2009-07-04T16:02:17Z")
> [@Casserole](#): > > Worst part is, she left me, a person she’d met, for someone she found online, in a chat room, who lived halfway across the country. Eh, I think that makes her look worse than you. Someone who trusts that a stranger from a chatroom is being 100% honest about who they are before even meeting in person sounds pretty dumb. I say that as someone who has dated online, but I know better than to think I know the person before I meet them. I was once dumped by email. It wasn’t that surprising though since we had met online, lived an hour apart, and the dude had previously admitted when talking about past relationships that he was very afraid of “confrontations”. I wasn’t all that offended by the fact it was an email since in some ways I think it’s better to have time to compose yourself before talking to the person. However, doing it by facebook or a text message does seem too flippant and rude to me. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/28 "2009-07-04T18:11:02Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > The dude you tried to play strip magic with dumped you? Do you have two heads? Yeah man. When I figure it out myself, I’ll let you know. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/29 "2009-07-04T18:33:15Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Some people feel trapped in a relationship, unable to break away especially with the other person there, though they desire to. Usually it is the type that mimics something like the Stockholm syndrome. If that is the only way someone who feels somehow held captive must do it then at least they have that method open to them. > > It does sound, from very limited info, like it was a tormenting issue, causing sleeplessness to the point that pressure built enough to break away. It is not a good type of relationship, though from your username it may be the type you desired. Let me get this straight. You are making a cheap shot at the OP because of his username? Do you actually believe that there are such things as incubi, and that the OP is one? I know you are prone to posting very strange things, but this is a new one. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/30 "2009-07-04T18:56:06Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > I think you should break up with her. Using smoke signals. ---
**Author:** ![MissIntent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/97f17d/32.png) [@MissIntent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissIntent)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/31 "2009-07-04T19:33:00Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Why? > Why? > > Not that I’m condoning the text/email breakup, I’m not. It’s a shitty, cowardly thing to do. Buy why on earth would you chase this shitty, cowardly person down so they can waste some more of your time? I can only speak for myself, but personally when I have wanted an explanation, it was because I was emotional and upset and not thinking logically. In reflection, my thought is “don’t let the door hit you on the way out” but at the time I was too busy hurting. It’s an emotional desire, not a logical one. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/32 "2009-07-04T20:07:31Z")
[Don’t break up playing hangman either](http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=1022#comic) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/33 "2009-07-04T20:18:03Z")
I got broken up with while I was in the hospital by telephone. THe reason? I wasnt around when he wanted to go out and do stuff for the past month or so and he was lonely , Of course I was in the hospital the entire time … and he had visited all of twice and called me once a week :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/34 "2009-07-04T22:17:39Z")
Would twitter be more appropriate? ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2009, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/35 "2009-07-05T08:46:07Z")
> [@gonzomax](#): > > Would twitter be more appropriate? “I was hoping we could talk about this in person but I’m still trying to find myself and think at this point the best thing for us to do is brea” ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2009, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/36 "2009-07-05T09:27:40Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Not that I’m condoning the text/email breakup, I’m not. It’s a shitty, cowardly thing to do. Buy why on earth would you chase this shitty, cowardly person down so they can waste some more of your time? Well, this was before we’d broken up. He hadn’t called or answered my text messages in a week, so I was pretty sure a break-up was in the air anyway, but I wanted to at least get a chance to talk to him when we did. After he sent me the Dear John email it was completely over. ---
**Author:** ![Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Carol\_the\_Impaler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carol_the_Impaler)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2009, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/37 "2009-07-05T15:24:17Z")
> [@badbadrubberpiggy](#): > > I had a guy break up with me on my answering machine…that my 2 roomates and I all shared, so I wasn’t even the first to hear it. That’s nothing! 🙂 I once got dumped on my friend’s answering machine! (I’d been at my friend’s house and got into a fight on my friend’s phone with my boyfriend. When I got home, friend called me and said, "uh, I have a message here you might want to hear.. ") Classy! With a side of humiliating! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2009, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/38 "2009-07-05T15:46:29Z")
I was dumped once with a variation of the Dear John letter, back in the ages before teh intrawebs. We were both in the Navy. He was at sea, cruising in the Med on an air craft carrier. He wrote me a letter and dumped me because, among other reasons, I liked John Denver’s music and he didn’t. Seriously. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/39 "2009-07-05T20:02:20Z")
> [@HazelNutCoffee](#): > > Well, this was before we’d broken up. He hadn’t called or answered my text messages in a week, so I was pretty sure a break-up was in the air anyway, but I wanted to at least get a chance to talk to him when we did. After he sent me the Dear John email it was completely over. I did the same thing once, and it was almost entirely about empowerment. Basically, he quit taking my calls or being available in any way. No discussion, no reason given, just one day, he was done. And that was okay. What wasn’t okay was being left out of the information loop. So, I did what anyone reasonable person would do: Went to his workplace, walked in, asked “So, we’re finished, right?” He hemmed and hawed and then said “yes,” I said “okay,” and walked out to resume my life. I just needed to hear it. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2009, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/40 "2009-07-06T21:30:24Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Ouch. I can’t decide what’s worse – the break-up text or having a partner change their status to ‘single.’ Neither. Changing status to ‘married’ and you’re not the other half of it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827.md?page=3)