# You don't text message break up!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [July 3, 2009, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827 "2009-07-03T17:14:56Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/61 "2009-07-09T12:59:14Z")

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> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> Poking boys with sticks, mainly.

So…whatcha doin’ Friday night?

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**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/62 "2009-07-09T13:12:18Z")

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To the OP: I like things nice and civilized. Clean cut. If there was a quicker way to dump somebody, or get dumped, than texting, I’m for it. If I’m getting the old heave-ho, why do I want to have a conference with the heaver? It won’t get her back, I can spend the time that I would have spent with her, listening to a catalog of my failures, checking out the new chicks.

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**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/63 "2009-07-09T14:05:23Z")

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> [@handsomeharry](#):
>
> So…whatcha doin’ Friday night?

Hey you young whippersnapper! Leave the old ones to me!

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**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/64 "2009-07-09T14:40:00Z")

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There are enough sticks for me to poke everybody!

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**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\
**Post date:** [July 9, 2009, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-dont-text-message-break-up/501827/65 "2009-07-09T15:00:40Z")

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The perfect breakup involves three feet of dental floss, a packet of low sodium soy sauce, a C79 optical sight, and a copy of Darwin’s _The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex_. The obvious details of implementation will be left to the reader’s imagination.

Oh, and the reason to break up in person? To fight over having the last word, of course. Closure is very important. You just don’t get that over a jumbled mess of barely comprehensible letters via SMS.

Stranger

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