# You favorite thing to do with a drunken sailor. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 5, 2011, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260 "2011-04-05T13:35:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/1 "2011-04-05T13:35:02Z")
The classic “What do you do with a Drunken Sailor?” is a favorite in Irish pubs. It’s often preformed with asking the audience to not only sing a long but to participate by coming up with a verse. My favorite from Sunday night at Dan McGuiness, was “Sit on his face and try to drown him” Earl-i in the morning. What are some of the best lines you’ve heard for this song, or what are your suggestions if you were going to contribute? Way Hey up she rises. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/2 "2011-04-05T13:41:15Z")
I’m a traditionalist. My usual contribution is either “Put him in a long boat 'til he’s sober” or “Put him in bed with the Captain’s daughter.” Earlie in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/3 "2011-04-05T14:31:49Z")
Put him in charge of an [Exxon tanker](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hazelwood). Earlie in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/4 "2011-04-05T14:42:25Z")
I tend to put him in bed with the captain’s daughter, too. I have been known to shave him on the belly with a rustie razor on occasion, too. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/5 "2011-04-05T14:48:24Z")
Shave his _bollocks_ with a rusty razor, surely… ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/6 "2011-04-05T14:49:14Z")
The guy I used to ride to school with, who was a physics major, always wanted to “Dissolve him in [perchloric acid](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perchloric_acid).” Don’t ask me why. ---
**Author:** ![kath94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/67e7ee/32.png) [@kath94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kath94)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/7 "2011-04-05T15:37:59Z")
“Stick him in the bilge and make him drink it” ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/8 "2011-04-05T15:44:31Z")
Hang him from a yard and watch him swinging? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/9 "2011-04-05T15:55:18Z")
Friends and kin stage an inter-vention ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/10 "2011-04-05T16:19:55Z")
Shave his balls with a rusty razor, just before putting him into bed with the captian’s daughter. Thanks for the earworm, **cosmosdan**.:mad: ---
**Author:** ![runcible\_spoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc29f/32.png) [@runcible\_spoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runcible_spoon)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/11 "2011-04-05T16:48:29Z")
In elementary school, we came up with ‘throw him over board and then keelhaul him’. Bloodthirsty tykes, we were. Earlie in the mornin’ ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/12 "2011-04-05T17:51:46Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > Shave his _bollocks_ with a rusty razor, surely… I suspect that “belly” is the cleaned-up lyric. About 20 years ago, there was a sitcom on ABC, _Anything But Love_, starring Richard Lewis and Jamie Lee Curtis. The opening bit of one episode featured this (paraphrased) conversation between the two of them: Richard Lewis: “You know that old sea chanty, ‘What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor’?” Jamie Lee Curtis: “Yeah.” RL: “There’s one line which never made sense to me. ‘Shave his belly with a rusty razor.’ What kind of a punishment is that?” JLC: “Maybe ‘belly’ is a euphemism for something else.” RL: (thinks for a moment) “Ohhhh, god.” :shudders: ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/13 "2011-04-05T17:54:37Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > I’m a traditionalist. My usual contribution is either “Put him in a long boat 'til he’s sober” or “Put him in bed with the Captain’s daughter.” You haven’t seen the Captain’s daughter! Make him sing “The Drunken Sailor.” Ear-ly in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/14 "2011-04-05T18:12:46Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Put him in charge of an [Exxon tanker](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hazelwood). > > Earlie in the morning. Ouch!! and funny. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/15 "2011-04-05T18:16:02Z")
As an Aubrey/Maturin fan, my contribution once was “Prepare the turpentine enemata” ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/16 "2011-04-05T19:23:54Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > I tend to put him in bed with the captain’s daughter, too. > > I have been known to shave him on the belly with a rustie razor on occasion, too. > [@Malacandra](#): > > Shave his _bollocks_ with a rusty razor, surely… You can do that if you want, _I’m_ not putting my hands anywhere near those. Do you know when he’s last had a bath? Neither does he. > [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > You haven’t seen the Captain’s daughter! Aye - But I’ve seen the Captain after someone’s put a drunken sailor in bed with his daughter. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/17 "2011-04-05T19:25:15Z")
Write on his face with a magic marker Aerlee in the marnin’ ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/18 "2011-04-05T20:51:25Z")
Ah yes, the nightmare song for ESL teachers. Thanks to that stupid song, students around the world use: Drink, Drank, Drunken Next to 100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, the Drunken Sailor song is easily one that should never be sung (sungen?) again. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2011, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/19 "2011-04-05T23:47:36Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Ah yes, the nightmare song for ESL teachers. > Thanks to that stupid song, students around the world use: > Drink, Drank, Drunken > Next to 100 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall, the Drunken Sailor song is easily one that should never be sung (sungen?) again. Unless you’re one of the drunken, or preforming for them, which is when it’s usually done. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/20 "2011-04-06T03:40:41Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > Put him in charge of an [Exxon tanker](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Hazelwood). > > Earlie in the morning. Capitol Steps: “ **Oily** in the morning.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260.md?page=2)