# You favorite thing to do with a drunken sailor. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 5, 2011, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260 "2011-04-05T13:35:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/21 "2011-04-06T05:04:28Z")
> [@Scuba\_Ben](#): > > You haven’t seen the Captain’s daughter! Yeah… actually “captain’s daughter” has an [entirely different meaning](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain%27s_daughter). [Quote=Wikipedia] Captain’s Daughter can refer to: ``` The Captain's Daughter, a novel by A.S. Pushkin The Captain's Daughter (opera) based on the novel, composed by César Cui ``` \*\* The Cat o’ nine tails, a multi-tailed instrument of corporal punishment; compare gunner’s daughter\*\* A character from the comic Maakies A character from the short lived series The Drinky Crow Show [/quote] ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/22 "2011-04-06T05:40:13Z")
I heard the Gay Men’s Choir of San Francisco sing that once. After the usual verses and the big, loud, low note at the end of the song, one of the men leers out at the audience and says “I know what _I’d_ do.” ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/23 "2011-04-06T06:49:42Z")
Turn him into the Drunken Squire, that was a big favorite of the audience when I was in the South Florida Renaissance Society’s Wenches. Specially the verse where we took him to the garden to pick a melon. ---
**Author:** ![Icerigger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icerigger/32/432_2.png) [@Icerigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icerigger)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/24 "2011-04-06T09:50:14Z")
By using his song in a lame attempt to video something nautical and cool. Originally filmed with my brother’s 10LB VHS video camera and copied from the TV using a digital camera with the song playing on the boat’s cassette player. Waterworld here we come. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OWBikX-Fls) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/25 "2011-04-06T10:00:54Z")
The only punishment I’ve ever heard was to put him in the galley for to peel potatoes. And really, I don’t care what you do to him, as long as you pronounce it er-lie. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/26 "2011-04-06T11:04:35Z")
My favorite [Pyrates Royale](http://www.pyrates.com/) lyrics are “Put a lobster down his trousers” and “Dress him up in women’s clothing,” ear-lie in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/27 "2011-04-06T11:24:20Z")
“Wake him in the morning with the sound of bagpipes.” Not as evocative as some of the other suggestions, but it has the advantage of being true. I was there. Which reminds me… “Cockblock him from the cute, blonde girl-ie.” ---
**Author:** ![Alka\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Alka\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alka_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/28 "2011-04-06T12:40:44Z")
“Send lewd messages-to-his-mother-from-his-email-account.” “Er-lie in the morning.” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/29 "2011-04-06T14:19:17Z")
“Just let 'em sleep until he feels better”. I’ve always found fucking with the sleeping guy to be pretty douchey. Although my contribution doesn’t make for the best song… ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/30 "2011-04-06T16:05:47Z")
My Boy Scout troop liked to cut off his legs & call him “Shorty”. Er-lie in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![SecretaryofEvil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@SecretaryofEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecretaryofEvil)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/31 "2011-04-06T18:10:26Z")
Well if he was a sailor who worked for a private ship the answer was traditionally “Shanghai him and force him into the British Navy so your press gang gets a commission.” …early in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/32 "2011-04-06T20:17:38Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > My favorite [Pyrates Royale](http://www.pyrates.com/) lyrics are “Put a lobster down his trousers” and “Dress him up in women’s clothing,” ear-lie in the morning. I’ve never heard the lobster variant, and I’ve heard PR quite a bit. (In fact, I ran into Darcy off-duty at Pirate Feast this year; she wanted time in garb but off the clock.) ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/33 "2011-04-06T20:25:02Z")
Put him in the scuppers with a hosepipe on him Halve his rations til he’s sorry Make him swab the decks while bollock-naked Give his rum to all the others ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260/34 "2011-04-06T21:16:20Z")
> [@irishgirl](#): > > Put him in the scuppers with a hosepipe on him > > Halve his rations til he’s sorry > > Make him swab the decks while bollock-naked > > Give his rum to all the others Thanks… Now I’ll look up scuppers and horsepipe. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/you-favorite-thing-to-do-with-a-drunken-sailor/577260.md?page=1)